Inquiring Minds want to know / number 3

[Steph_CD_62]

1) I dress a couple times a week. If my wife asked me to stop, I would stop for her. I would not be as happy but I love her with all my heart.

2) I treat my wife the same

3) N/A

4) N/A.... she has her style and I have my style, completely different.

5) When I look in a mirror, I see a man wearing women's clothing

6) I know my wife dressed me once, and when she got done she said I looked better than she does.

7) Chores are just that, chores. We both cook, clean, do dishes & laundry, cut the grass and do home repairs.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Question
1)If you dress fairly regularly and your SO asks you not to dress that day how do you feel? Annoyed, angry, etc or just take it on the chin and think hey tomorrow is another day.

Tomorrow's another day. I enjoy dressing but I'm not obsessed with it.

2)When you are dressed , do you treat your wife

a- the same
b- different and how?

I don't know, honestly. I think I behave the same when dressed, and treat my wife the same. Our topics of conversation might be a little different - I never talk about dressing with her when I'm actually dressed, but we make jokes about it when I'm not.


3)Why do those of you who are unhappy with nonacceptance or DADT stay?

Not Applicable

4)What's the appeal of buying matching clothes with your SO? My husband buys us matching panties and is always surprised to be reminded that I don't care to be "twins".

I think it is the level of acceptance it shows, particularly if you go out together. "Not only do I allow my SO to cross-dress, I actively participate." That is cool.

5)When you look in the mirror fully dressed,
Do you really see a beautiful woman looking back ?

Nope. But I sometimes see a woman looking back, sometimes when I'm not even dressed. I really enjoy those moments!

6)Do you really think that GGs feel threatened and are jealous of how gorgeous you look, or is this the opinion of either newbies or a vocal few?

HAH! Most of the gurls here look so much better than I do, and there is no comparison with a GG. There are a few of us whose photos really are gorgeous, though, and I can imagine that there would probably be women who were jealous of them. I did have a woman tell me my lingerie was nicer than hers, years ago, but that's because I wasn't buying lingerie for regular use - and I was looking for sexy, not usable.

7) Both of us work and my chores were all the preparing all meals, home upkeep and laundry and husbands used to be car maintenance and lawn upkeep. Now that it is all girlie weekends everything is on me. Husbands version of a woman will not do cleaning and cooking so not an option. All I get is I am going to purge when I try to get him to look how unfair this is. Suggestions?

This one is beyond me. If your Husband can't see how unfair that is, and even when you point it out to him, he doesn't respond, I don't think there are any words I can give you to help. Maybe you could get him to come here and see what other crossdressers have to say about that situation?

Deedee

[natcrys]

Currently, I don't have an SO.. but I used to have girlfriend for 2 years.. and I envision my next relationship to be quite similar in terms of the crossdressing aspect.

1)If you dress fairly regularly and your SO asks you not to dress that day how do you feel? Annoyed, angry, etc or just take it on the chin and think hey tomorrow is another day.

Since my ex-girlfriend was actively involved (make-up, photography, shopping, etc) I would not be annoyed, but slightly worried.. so I would ask her about the reason(s).

2)When you are dressed , do you treat your wife

a- the same
b- different and how?

3)Why do those of you who are unhappy with nonacceptance or DADT stay?

N/A

4)What's the appeal of buying matching clothes with your SO? My husband buys us matching panties and is always surprised to be reminded that I don't care to be "twins".

This is sooo not my thing.. and I have always wondered this myself whenever I see a husband and wife skiing down the slopes in matching (and often hideously tacky) outfits!

5)When you look in the mirror fully dressed,
Do you really see a beautiful woman looking back ?

From most angles and in not too harsh lighting, yes.. I do! The kind of woman I'd never dare to ask out on a date.

Like Zylia has pointed out.. what is up with the "really" in that question?

6)Do you really think that GGs feel threatened and are jealous of how gorgeous you look, or is this the opinion of either newbies or a vocal few?

My ex-girlfriend never felt threatened by the way I dressed and looked, but I do know of some SO's of my t-friends who are a bit. I chalk that one up to confidence and self-esteem issues.

7) Both of us work and my chores were all the preparing all meals, home upkeep and laundry and husbands used to be car maintenance and lawn upkeep. Now that it is all girlie weekends everything is on me. Husbands version of a woman will not do cleaning and cooking so not an option. All I get is I am going to purge when I try to get him to look how unfair this is. Suggestions?

No need for a therapist with a fancy PhD: you have a lazy husband... period!

[Connief]

1) Ok, no problem, maybe tomorrow
2) A, the same, she was still my wife (divorced after 26 years)
3) I stayed because I loved her and use to love being married
4) I never could understand this. But, look at how many couples will wear somewhat matching outfits and not CD related.
5) I wish! lol no
6) Wishful thinking by some. A GG has no reason to feel jealous.
7) I agree, totally not fair! It takes two to make a household work. Chores should be shared no mater how your dressed.

[Princess Grandpa]

1) n/a. She has never requested I not dress.

2) I treat my wife the same regardless of how I'm dressed.

3) while N/A to my life, it's not really hard to see why someone wouldn't necessarily leave their wife over non acceptance. While yes CD is a big part of some of our lives, it's certainly not our whole life and therefore DADT policies wouldn't be all there is to a marriage. I

4) we were in Vegas and this cute little waitress noticed our matching nails. "That's so cute" she says. "You two should wear matching outfits too". We looked at each other and ran with it. Knowing GGs don't typically dress alike, I continually offer her opportunities to back track her position. She has no desire to give up this mating thing we have going on. She's working it into our daily wardrobe as well as our clubbing wardrobes.

5) I do not. I see an exceptionally homely woman looking back. I don't really see a woman. The only way anyone thinks I'm not a dude in a dress is in the dark from a far distance. I do see a very happy person. One who feels complete for perhaps the first time in my life.

6) there isn't anybody threatened by how pretty I look. Some of my new friends are pretty enough to cause those types of feelings I suppose.

7) I wish I could offer advise. One needs to do their homework before they can go out and play. It's an old lesson perhaps but one your SO would do well to remember.

Hug
Rita

[Jacqueline Winona]

I can only help with a few, but here goes:

Question
1)If you dress fairly regularly and your SO asks you not to dress that day how do you feel? Annoyed, angry, etc or just take it on the chin and think hey tomorrow is another day.

N/A. I'm truly only an occasional dresser and enjoy my male side at least as much.

2)When you are dressed , do you treat your wife

a- the same
b- different and how?

I'd like to think the same way. I'm usually alone, so this may be another N/A.

3)Why do those of you who are unhappy with nonacceptance or DADT stay?

I realize this isn't what she ever wanted to deal with, The fact she is happy letting me get my girl on every now and then, even alone, means a lot to me as I know it's a huge sacrifice.

4)What's the appeal of buying matching clothes with your SO? My husband buys us matching panties and is always surprised to be reminded that I don't care to be "twins".

Only have one thing that matches, and she actually gets a kick out of it (it is barely considered attire). But, not my thing to match.
5)When you look in the mirror fully dressed,
Do you really see a beautiful woman looking back ?
Only in my dreams. I'm fully aware that I'm not ever going to be considered beautiful unless I lose a ton of weight in some areas but gain in others, which isn't happening.
6)Do you really think that GGs feel threatened and are jealous of how gorgeous you look, or is this the opinion of either newbies or a vocal few?
No. I do think there are some parts of my body that women might envy just because of God's grace, but I don't take it too seriously.
7) Both of us work and my chores were all the preparing all meals, home upkeep and laundry and husbands used to be car maintenance and lawn upkeep. Now that it is all girlie weekends everything is on me. Husbands version of a woman will not do cleaning and cooking so not an option. All I get is I am going to purge when I try to get him to look how unfair this is. Suggestions?[/QUOTE]
Wow, how about reminding him that this isn't a turn-on for you, and the fact you're putting up with it (good naturedly as well, I assume) should mean it's time for him to get off of his antiquated ideas of what works for each spouse.

[Kate T]

1. Truthfully, initially can be a little bit frustrated. It generally passes pretty quickly. To be honest it's pretty rare that she actually asks me not to dress.
2. Honestly I didn't think I treated her any differently. And I certainly don't deliberately. However as I have posted in another thread at this stage our communication is slightly different though it is more of a subconscious thing from both of us. We are working on it
3. Not applicable
4. Don't get it either. My mother tries to do it for our daughters and they HATE it! I suspect it is a version of "dumb love" i.e. doing something for someone that YOU would like, not what THEY would like.
5. God No!! Most of the time I just feel happy and comfortable. All dressed up to go out for a function yes I guess I think I look good. Beautiful is not a term though I would use. And self praise is not my thing. Occasionally I see a confused fool and wonder what the hell I am doing, but I'm not one to wallow in self pity so those moments are fairly isolated
6. It's a bit newbie thing and a reflection unfortunately of most mens vacuous self obsession and the fact they think everything is about themselves.
7. Oh. Yeah. Problem. See number 6 answer. Your husband is wallowing in self obsession and needs to revisit planet earth. Give him a kick in the arse and tell him being a REAL woman is about doing the jobs that need to be done to make sure that your family is safe, happy and secure, irrespective of what you wear. We've never been big on "girl jobs" vs "boy jobs" in our house anyway. We do whatever job is necessary. Some jobs she is better at / prefers (e.g. she's a much better cake / biscuit cook, I'm better at meals so usually cook dinner), Some there is a physical element to e.g. she just cannot physically handle the brush cutter for long periods, as we live on almost 2-3 acres I sort of get the job of brush cutting the scrub and horse paddock.

[GeminaRenee]

Any questions pertaining to marriage are past tense, as she's now an ex-wife, FWIW...

1) I don't ever recall this being a problem. Early on, after I had told her about my dressing, I recall one time when she came home and opened the shower curtain to find me shaving my legs. I could tell she was a little miffed, so I asked her about it. She told me that it was a little much to have all of this laid out at once - even though she was generally accepting and enthusiastic. That was all I really needed to know that I should avoid overdoing things. I learned to hold back at times, and she became used to it, and that was enough to make things mesh quite well.

2) Generally the same. As she enjoyed the amorous aspect of my dressing, there was about a 99% chance those joys would come to fruition, but it's not as if we weren't frequently inclined to begin with. Honestly, I think my coming out to her made things more even in the long run. I was free to let the feminine aspects of my personality flow around her no matter how I was presenting. She would often comment on that.


3) N/A

4) I never saw appeal in that, and I don't think she did, either. I don't even recall it being discussed. We always picked out different clothes, though we'd often share items that fit both of us.

5) No. I'm not a woman, and I don't see a woman. I am sometimes pleasantly surprised at what I see, finding it difficult to process that the image could be me, that I could look like that. I do generally think that I look good - for a guy who likes to dress up like a woman. But I have no illusions about it - or maybe it's better to say, at least not that illusion. It should also be said that I sometimes only see a flawed guy reaching for a dangled carrot. I try to avoid turning on any light that are too bright on those evenings... ha.

6) I think that's a preposterous notion, generally speaking. Maybe in some rare cases, but I think that the CD who thinks that is more than likely lost deep in the pink fog, with dead batteries in his/her GPS unit.

7) Not sure. Sounds pretty selfish to me. I guess if it were me, I'd just need that stated in no uncertain terms. Maybe some sort of reminder that acceptance isn't carte blanche to depart from the realities of life. Sorry if that's not helpful.

[Amanda M]

Question
1)If you dress fairly regularly and your SO asks you not to dress that day how do you feel? Annoyed, angry, etc or just take it on the chin and think hey tomorrow is another day.

Not a problem at all!

2)When you are dressed , do you treat your wife

a- the same
b- different and how?

I suspect I may be gentler


3)Why do those of you who are unhappy with nonacceptance or DADT stay?
N/A

4)What's the appeal of buying matching clothes with your SO? My husband buys us matching panties and is always surprised to be reminded that I don't care to be "twins".

We don’t. Her fashion sense and mine are different!

5)When you look in the mirror fully dressed,
Do you really see a beautiful woman looking back ?

Of course! Well…………

6)Do you really think that GGs feel threatened and are jealous of how gorgeous you look, or is this the opinion of either newbies or a vocal few?

I’m not one for sweeping generalizations, but I know that that is what happens to some GGs. More threatened than jealous, though – in that many women feel that their femininity is being devalued or surpassed by their partner’s.


7) Both of us work and my chores were all the preparing all meals, home upkeep and laundry and husbands used to be car maintenance and lawn upkeep. Now that it is all girlie weekends everything is on me. Husbands version of a woman will not do cleaning and cooking so not an option. All I get is I am going to purge when I try to get him to look how unfair this is. Suggestions?

I don’t see chores as gender related. It’s time for parenting in reverse!

We humans only indulge in behaviour that brings reward of some kind. Only when that reward (whatever it might be) disappears, or the consequences of our behaviour promise to be unpleasant do we consider changing what we do. Like a child, your husband is going to have to learn to accept boundaries, and you have to give him reason to change

Here is the clue to sorting things out. When you are faced with non-co-operation – give him choices, and make sure he understands the consequences of his choice – and always follow through.


He also needs to understand that if he does not start to share the load, there will unpleasant consequences. They need to be spelled out to him very clearly, with clear emphasis on the fact that they will apply immediately. These could be, for example, from no more cooking or washing done, or a withdrawal of “ home comforts”.

Make it crystal clear to him what you expect – more help in the home, no demeaning remarks, controlling his temper.

This may sound harsh, but unless he is given a reason to change, he will not. By being soft, you are just encouraging his behaviour, and not helping him at all.

Stay calm, remain objective and avoid drama, but stick to your guns. NEVER scream or shout – always keep focussed on what you want out of a discussion and remember if you resort to screaming and shouting, you’ve lost the argument.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

1. This normally never happens in our marriage, in the rare occasion (company, or intimacy where she wants male side) I of course get annoyed, pout, act like a child, whine but for only for a short amount of time. My girl time opportunities are rare these days, and basically all of my male time is spent thinking about being in girl mode.

2. I'm going go with different but not by a lot. Mainly I'm in a happier better mode, and more affectionate, that’s also when my cooking skills begin to come out, and the nice romantic dinners take place. Although when it comes to an activity like taking pictures I'm basically just like my male side when exercising, or watching any TV show or Steven Segal Movie. I'm obsessively into every detail which means it's more of a solo activity best spent alone.

4. I'm actually not into that. I've somewhat developed my own style which I feel is unique to me. At best their might be one particular dress or type that I've bought the same type as my wife, but that's because she beat me to it. Also our sizes our similar so she just takes all of my clothes that she likes. Even when I attempt to hide them, she finds there locations!

5. Yes, unfortunately for me the camera say's otherwise around 95% of the time which gets very depressing and sad.

6) No, even in girl mode I still consider myself to be an artificial fake girl so there's nothing to be threatened by. My look is done by a lot of smoke and mirrors, and especially when seeing my deleted photos there is no way any sane GG would ever even remotely be jealous. Unless maybe they are really trying to bulk up their arms and shoulders.

7) I will start by saying very bad/unethical on his part. I would almost suggest call in him out on it and actually tell him to go ahead and purge everything, you are cleaning doing housework this weekend etc. I will admit I am a slob/lacking a natural ability to clean do house work. What usually works for me is the following theory- "Making the bed, picking up clothes, cleaning, not being a slob etc. means less nagging from the Mrs." "Nagging is never enjoyable" "Yes I want to dress this weekend but I do not want to really get a constant barrage from my wife over me being a slob." "Therefore being neat and helping with chores will equal less nagging."

In all actuality my wife has actually told me this concept which was taught to her by my mother, and by some of my GG relatives ! "Need to keep husband in check and compliant, turn on the red light with him and be more stern with him!" In all seriousness it is out of love that he should contribute. Time for me to check out and start cleaning the bathroom toilets!

[Connie D50]

We once again have questions from our GGs.
We love all the input and we Thank You.
As always if a question does not apply just put n/a

Question
1)If you dress fairly regularly and your SO asks you not to dress that day how do you feel? Annoyed, angry, etc or just take it on the chin and think hey tomorrow is another day.
Not upset just roll with it.
2)When you are dressed , do you treat your wife

a- the same
b- different and how? A lot of time I do more things around the house I think it's to thank her for the time and the understanding.


3)Why do those of you who are unhappy with nonacceptance or DADT stay?
NA

4)What's the appeal of buying matching clothes with your SO? My husband buys us matching panties and is always surprised to be reminded that I don't care to be "twins".
I don't buy matching cloths I do enjoy wen she wears my cloths or jewery.

5)When you look in the mirror fully dressed,
Do you really see a beautiful woman looking back ?
No I hope to see a reg. women who is happy.

6)Do you really think that GGs feel threatened and are jealous of how gorgeous you look, or is this the opinion of either newbies or a vocal few?
Not at all
7) Both of us work and my chores were all the preparing all meals, home upkeep and laundry and husbands used to be car maintenance and lawn upkeep. Now that it is all girlie weekends everything is on me. Husbands version of a woman will not do cleaning and cooking so not an option. All I get is I am going to purge when I try to get him to look how unfair this is. Suggestions?

This one is a personal I don't care dressed or not in today world both have to do what ever it take.

[Jolene Robertson]

1. I dress most days (mornings and /or evenings) she has never asked me not to, unless we are going to be intimate. So a non issue here.

2. About the same although she says I appear to be happier and more open in conversation.

3. N/A

4. We have different taste in styles so it doesn't happen.

5. Nope, just a dude in a dress.

6. I think that is preposterous, we are still guys. There are some on here who do come a lot closer to passing than me but it is still just a guy in a dress.

7. I actually do more of "her" chores when dressed. I guess it adds to the fulfillment of the role. I would just tell him if you want to feel like a "woman" then assume the Whole role, put on your big Girl panties and "Man up".

Just My Openion!

[Krisi]

1) She doesn't have to ask. I know when to dress and when not to.

2) The same.

3) N/A.

4) No appeal.

5) Nope. An old lady at best.

6) Nope.

7) N/A.

[Claire Cook]

Great questions for those of us lucky to have supportive wives. It will be interesting to see how GG's react to our responses.


1. I dress for part of every day, but always temper that. We both seem to know when Claire is appropriate or inappropriate, so I am happy to defer.

2, Sue says I am more talkative and more interesting to talk to. I think I am more appreciative of her needs when I'm dressed (and I hope that spills over to when I am not dressed.)

3. N/A

4. We don't do that. I do wear some of her old clothes, but only because they are too worn for her. (I especially appreciate her old floppy bras....). When Claire buys clothes for her, I try to match her taste, not mine.

5. I see me.

6. I doubt it, but I have had GG friends say "You look better than I do" ... probably because they aren't wearing makeup and I haven't managed to mess mine up.

7. Claire is more than happy to do housework, and I'm finding that I'm probably more domestic than Sue. We don't do girlie weekends at the expense of other things.

[Gypsy Sam]

1.DADT only dress when my day off is seperate from wife's.
2.n/a
3.Learned to accept DADT.
4.n/a
5. I wish.
6.Newbies or vocal few.
7.Few people want to cook and clean. One partner may place a higher priority on those chores, while the other not so much. Reward positive effort as a accommodation to you, disinterest is that persons priority.

[Sally24]

5. I'm not sure beautiful always applies but yes I see a woman staring back at me. In fact in male mode I often see Sally with no makeup looking back at me.

6. I don't "imagine" my wife is jealous of how I look. She has told me straight out that sometimes she is envious. Now the major thing there might be that she has gained a lot of weight over the years and me not so much. I don't know how common this reality is but in my situation it is a fact.

7. The husband should earn his free time like all of us do. Either do the boy work, or the girl work, or pay someone to do it for him/her. Refusing to do your share is selfish and not very appealing or feminine!

[Teresa]

ASWERS :-

1) I only dress when the wife is out.
2) as above
3) Eventually DADT can be worked round but if my wife couldn't live with it and wanted a separation I would have to accept it.
4) Wife doesn't know I shop so anything matching would just be a coincidence.
5) Yes, (the man can be improved on)
6) Has seen me partially dressed and showed her my avatar picture but never made a comment.
7) I work from home so I do outdoor maintenance and domestic jobs and cook the meals, it's only fair if she has to work.

[Tina_gm]

With exception to #3 none of these apply much to me or at all. I do not fully dress (make up and wig and often not even a full outfit.) I do not dress in front of my wife. As to #3, my arrangement with my wife is a modified DADT. I do not speak of any specific dressing that I do. I do not get out or leave out clothing that I am going to or have worn. We do have discussion about CDing and gender related topics from time to time. So it is not a complete DADT. Would it be better if she was more comfortable with it all? absolutely. I am sure she feels it would be better if this was not an issue at all. I guess for me, it is a fair compromise. I went from never dressing or being able to express my femininity to being able to do so on a semi regular basis. (about 3x per week) and also shave a majority of my body hair and am just able to be myself around her, which at times can be feminine in certain ways.

I tend to look at it all like so many other compromises made in a long term relationship or marriage. I could play more golf, more poker, hang out at a bar after work etc etc. We all make significant compromises for each other and in general in life. To me this is no different. I now get to express femininity that I never did before, which is a good thing. And why mess with a good thing....

[Sarasometimes]

4 I don't get that either. Especially if you have said it doesn't do anything for you.
5 Not a gorgeous women. Just me expressing myself in my appearance and getting to indulge in typical feminine activities like applying makeup, playing with my hair (wig) figuring out my outfit.
6 No, I think GG's may have difficulty figuring out why we feel the need to crossdress and may think it is tied to homosexuality. Women can readily convey through their appearance a look that runs the full spectrum of gender expression. From borrowing their spouses shirt or buying clothes in the men's department to going for frills and lace.
7 I think that he needs to figure out what chores he is most willing to do to contribute to your collective existence. Sounds convenient to me. Other option is start doing less and see if he notices. Wash your clothes, buy foods you like, clean your sink... Con't say if this would work since I know neither of you. Just a blind suggestion.
I'm in DADT and I do laundry, she irons, I fix and build stuff and she rides the lawn tractor (she like doing this).

[S. Lisa Smith]

1)If you dress fairly regularly and your SO asks you not to dress that day how do you feel? Annoyed, angry, etc or just take it on the chin and think hey tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is another day.
2)When you are dressed , do you treat your wife

a- the same
b- different and how?
N/A She never sees me when I dress.

3)Why do those of you who are unhappy with nonacceptance or DADT stay?
She knows and is kinda supportive.

4)What's the appeal of buying matching clothes with your SO? My husband buys us matching panties and is always surprised to be reminded that I don't care to be "twins". N/A

5)When you look in the mirror fully dressed,
Do you really see a beautiful woman looking back ? No, but I see an attractive one.

6)Do you really think that GGs feel threatened and are jealous of how gorgeous you look, or is this the opinion of either newbies or a vocal few? I have had some of my GG friends say they are jealous of the way I look. Are they really, probably not.

7) Both of us work and my chores were all the preparing all meals, home upkeep and laundry and husbands used to be car maintenance and lawn upkeep. Now that it is all girlie weekends everything is on me. Husbands version of a woman will not do cleaning and cooking so not an option. All I get is I am going to purge when I try to get him to look how unfair this is. Suggestions? We split the chores. She cooks, I clean up, etc.

[CynthiaD]

1. I dress fairly regularly. She never asks me not to.
2. I treat her the same.
3. N/a
4. None. I don't like my wife's taste in clothes. I asked her once about matching outfits, and her reply was essentially "no way!"
5. I see a woman, but she's not beautiful. Seeing a woman is enough.
6. No. I don't know how others feel.
7. I'm happy to help with any and all household chores. I'm willing for these things to be my job alone. My wife doesn't want my help. My wife loves to fix things, and handles automobile maintenance. She also likes working in the yard, but is much more sensitive to the heat than me, so I used to do all the lawn maintenance. Now that I'm old, we hire a lawn guy. I can't tell you how to handle your own spouse, but in my opinion being a woman is more than just sitting around being pretty. If you're going to put on the dress, that should mean that you accept everything that goes with it: cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, taking care of the kids, and everything else.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Fab 4 ,
1. NA
2. NA
3. We have been married for 50yrs. and no one's going anywhere.
4. NA
5. I think that I look feminine enough to pass.
6. NA
7. I've been retired over five years now and due to my wife's health
I do about 75% of the house work, And that's on a good week.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

1. This has actually never happened. Not saying that I don't dress when she's around, but I do make sure that she knows that I am going to. However, for the other 90% of the time, I reserve my dressing activities for either when she is not home, or has already gone to bed.

2. I want to think that I treat her exactly the same, but I've never actually asked her this question. Similar to question #1, yes there are times when I am dressed, and she is around, but I don't spend any real time around her when dressed. I might visit the kitchen for a drink or something, but that's about it.

3. N/A

4. N/A

5. While I would never admit to seeing a 'beautiful woman' looking back, I can at least say, that I am pleased with my appearance. Enough so, that I can almost fool myself. However, even in saying that, I can always see 'me'. When I look at my own reflection, I never feel the same female 'presence' as I do when looking at a real woman. But I think that comes from the hardwired expectation/reality (of being male) that my sub-conscious mind imposes on my senses.

6. Not sure why anyone would feel 'threatened' by a guy wearing womens clothing. Is there a situation where a male could be any more vulnerable and non-threatening? I don't know... As far as jealousy is concerned, I might be a little narcissistic when I say this (hey,...I'm a crossdresser after all, we all have a little narcissism in us :P ) but I don't think it is unrealistic to say that there's a small percentage of women who, at the very least, could think to themselves, 'he looks better than I do'. And I'd be lying if I said I've never looked at a woman before, and though to myself, 'I can look better than her'. Keeping in mind of course, that I'm not exactly talking about 'models' here,...if you catch my drift. The majority of women, with even the smallest effort (if any), could easily look better than I.

7. You accept his dressing activities (which in itself, he should be highly grateful for), and all he contributes to the household is car maintenance and lawn care? WTF? THAT'S IT!!?? Compared to your every day, every week schedule, how often does he even need to do those things? Excuse me for saying but, that's F'kn BS! You clearly have more 'chores', and do them them with more frequency than he. You need to establish some FAIR rules.

If you ask me, he's eating the steak, and throwing you the bone.

I most definitely do (at minimum) 50% of household chores. Meal preparation? Like 90% of the time for me (but that's MY choice. I enjoy cooking) And these have NOTHING to do with my dressing activities.

[suchacutie]

1) Our agreement is that when my wife wants her man, for whatever reason, she gets him. She married him and if she needs him emotionally that need should be satisfied. She knows I need Tina time and being considerate has never gone unrewarded.

2) When I'm Tina we are girlfriends and we treat each other that way.

3) n/a

4) n/a

5) ROFL...beautiful??? omg...in my dreams. My goal is to appear feminine. It would be terrific if I felt not repulsive ...having said that, I do think I've pretty much gotten neutral. In many ways I prefer not to be attractive so as not to attract attention.

6) My wife is jealous of my legs. I'm jealous of her everything else. Outside if that, she is the teacher and I am the learner.

7) Well, call the bluff and get back to where you were. Barring that, this is a marriage problem not a cd issue. If she won't help, you can sit back and do nothing too. The best would be to show how unreasonable this arrangement is and suugest that mutual respect means everyone pulls their weight...in all genders.

[Jenny Green]

1. I am not out to her or anyone, except here.
2. n/a
3. Based on her reaction to various things over the years, she would not be supportive if I came out; it would strain our marriage; and it would be embarrassing to me. I stay and accept this as I'm fine keeping this to myself and not adding to her load. I don't understand this part of me, so why add it to someone else's load?
4.n/a
5. A guy is in the mirror. The face of a woman is in my imagination.
6. If a CD thinks that, he is fooling himself.
7. I do most of the house chores, because my wife's health isn't so good. I also do all the outside stuff, too, with help from our wonderful sons.

We once again
have questions from our GGs.
We love all the input and we Thank You.
As always if a question does not apply just put n/a

Question
1)If you dress fairly regularly and your SO asks you not to dress that day how do you feel? Annoyed, angry, etc or just take it on the chin and think hey tomorrow is another day.

2)When you are dressed , do you treat your wife

a- the same
b- different and how?


3)Why do those of you who are unhappy with nonacceptance or DADT stay?

4)What's the appeal of buying matching clothes with your SO? My husband buys us matching panties and is always surprised to be reminded that I don't care to be "twins".

5)When you look in the mirror fully dressed,
Do you really see a beautiful woman looking back ?

6)Do you really think that GGs feel threatened and are jealous of how gorgeous you look, or is this the opinion of either newbies or a vocal few?

7) Both of us work and my chores were all the preparing all meals, home upkeep and laundry and husbands used to be car maintenance and lawn upkeep. Now that it is all girlie weekends everything is on me. Husbands version of a woman will not do cleaning and cooking so not an option. All I get is I am going to purge when I try to get him to look how unfair this is. Suggestions?