So, this might open up a kettle of worms but I still want to hear everyone's thoughts.

I was raised in a fairly gender-neutral environment. I was home-schooled and my brother and I were basically raised in the same way; if he did it, I did it. We wrestled, climbed trees, built forts, and basically the only time gender came into the question was on Sundays when I had to wear a dress while he wore jeans(and even that was a bit iffy since I wore skirts that were actually pants with really wide legs) I never thought that there was any real difference between us.

Really, the first time that I became aware of gender differences and roles was when I began living with my grandparents and went to public school in 8th grade.

I was told that I was manly; from my walk, to my speech patterns, even to the way that I smiled! I didn't know that girls weren't supposed to enjoy yard work, or that they were supposed to shave their legs and wear different clothes than men. I didn't know that it was unacceptable to wrestle with my guy friends or that it was looked down on to have a group of guy friends instead of gal friends with me being a female, or that it wasn't polite to look into men's eyes when talking to them. I didn't know that it was strange for a girl to pick a fight with a boy or to treat women like a lady if you were female, or that not wearing make-up was an odd thing to do. It was like stepping into another world and confused me terribly.

Ever since I've begun cross-dressing and thinking about my gender I keep running into the same question: How much of gender is really just our perception of the concept?

If sex is whether or not we have the physical traits of male or female and gender is what we feel we are on the inside, then isn't it almost entirely our perception?

As I've tried to reclaim that comfortable sense of self that I had back then, I've found myself hesitating to do certain things because I've been told over and over again not to, even if my head is screaming that I need to take a stand. I envy the strength and confidence that I had in my ignorance and I can only imagine how hard it is for people that have been in this social trap since birth.

I wonder if the difference between the sexes isn't almost entirely a societal concept and suspect that possibly the lack of gender specific behaviors is why both my brother and myself have indulged in cross-dressing and homosexuality without the fuss and bother that generally coincide with these two concepts. What are people's thoughts on this?