Deer in the Headlights!

[Laura Collette]

I'm on the couch in the living room typing on my laptop, fully dressed as Laura in makeup, dress, nylons and wig, and fifteen minutes ago the doorbell rang. My front door is only five feet from me and has a clear glass pane. I've never been out or seen as Laura by a stranger (or neighbor) and I froze like a rabbit. After a minute or so the doorbell rang again and I carefully peeked from a nearby window to see a well dressed man I don't know waiting on the porch. Finally the storm door opened and closed and after a few more minutes I timidly got up and opened the door. There was a leaflet between the doors inviting me to a function at a nearby church.

I guess I knew this would happen eventually and at least it wasn't my next door neighbor or my business partner, although that will probably happen someday too. Now that I know it was a stranger I think I should have answered the door -- mustache in full flower -- and taken a step forward as Laura. I'm sorry I didn't.

My wish to be seen and accepted as Laura is stronger than my courage. My mustache is important to my wife, to whom it's a last protection against my wanting to go out publicly as a woman, so for her sake I haven't shaved it off. I guess I can talk about it again with her but I don't want to make her life difficult -- she has other challenges and I'm the husband who wants to shoulder some of her load, not add to it.

Well that's where I am now. Sorry there isn't a resolution to this story yet... it's a serialized adventure. Thanks for listening.

[PretzelGirl]

I have one of those round, ornamental windows next to my front door at the same height as the top of the door. When I first moved in, my brother-in-law would come ring the bell and start staring in the window. I went to Home Depot and found some of the opaque, colorful sheets that your can adhere to a window. I still get light, but he can't see me.

[Katey888]

What a shame you didn't answer the door, Laura - would have been a wonderful opportunity to test how inclusive and accepting the local community is...

But I can fully empathise with the 'freeze' scenario... easiest to play possum and let whoever it is just move on...

Perhaps in this case you did the right thing anyway - it wouldn't really have been fair on your wife to have taken what might have been an impetuous and opportunistic advantage...

We look forward to further episodes...

Katey x

[jjjjohanne]

Laura, you did what I would have done. I wouldn't dare allow someone to associate my dressing with my house. I try to have two completely separated data sets. Data about my life is to never intersect with data about my dressing. I do this so that I can control the out-flow of information.

Once, when I was a teenager, I was home alone. I dressed in my mother's clothes. I was in a skirt/dress and heels. Then someone knocked on the door. I did not keep my cool like you did. No, I ran from the room down the hall to go change. Those heels were loud on the hard-wood floors! That woman knew someone was in the house. But I never answered the door!!

Joey

[MssHyde]

mustache hmm.. I'm sorta In the same boat, I shave mine off a month before my wife goes out of town.. I hope she don't catch on.. I have noticed shes more affectionate to me when I have one.

I keep finding reasons to shave it off that seems to work for her.. I wish you the best..

[Gillian Gigs]

I have a clear glass pane in my front door also. Between my wife and I we tastefully covered it with a curtain. Now I can go into the bedroom while she answers the door. Without covering this window, I would be trapped in the kitchen, dining room, living room half of the house. Now I could change if necessary.

[Beverley Sims]

Deer in the headlights is face to face in an embarrassing scenario that is difficult to get out of.

Still you now know how the deer probably feels.

Don't run over the deer on the Florida peninsula, that is an expensive exercise.

[Anna H]

Also, it's worth keeping in mind that the guy who you missed likely
has a pretty extensive network of people he associates with...and
they have their friends. Word travels fast sometimes.

Being seen is one thing. Being accepted is another altogether. You
can control one...you can't the other.


I have a trick for when I need to be left alone...so nobody will expect
that the door will be answered.

Tape a note on the inside window.

The note says...

------------------
Hi, (a name)

Sorry I had to run out for several hours. I'll call you when
I get back....
------------------

Use a fake name for the note to be left to...in case someone you
know comes by, they'll think the note is for a friend they don't know.
Keep it vague.

Tape it on the inside glass, so it doesn't get taken/blown away.

Don't put time/date left or time/date you'll be back.

Don't sign it with your name.

This note can be as inventive as anyone may want to make it.
The point is, whoever sees it won't know when you left or when you'll
be back. The same note can stay up for a long time.

Most every time, people go away after reading mine. It works Great!

[dana 1]

A note on the door saying your not home in Chicago would not be a good idea.

[Anna H]

This is why the note is kept very vague. They don't know that you won't
be back within the next 2 minutes.

It may actually prevent some problems sometimes.

[Tracii G]

Would have been interesting if you did answer the door.

[bimini1]

Yup been there done that and still do. Nothing like that prisoner in your own home vibe. Had you opened the door that joker may have immediately started praying for your deliverance.

[Joanne108]

One day this March the doorbell rang. I was fully dressed as Joanne. I had on a nice blue print dress, heels, full makeup, full forms, coat purse and a wig. I thought I was looking good. I like the well dressed but somewhat modestly sexy woman going to work look. I was stepping out to go shopping at Kohl's for new pantyhose and a bra. I was just about to open the door when the bell rang. I thought oh hell. I froze and had that fear in my stomach but, I had just checked myself out. I thought to myself I looked good when I last saw my reflection. After a moment of hesitation I thought screw it and opened the door and there he was a Jehovah's Witness. He wanted to talk about God but I said in my best girly voice that I had to go to work. So he gave me a pamphlet and said he be back when my husband was home. Without missing a beat as I walked to my car and I said my wife is at work. His jaw dropped. He proceed to tell me about the evils of homosexuality and living in sin etc... I burst out laughing got in my car and as he left he said he would pray for me. I guess I passed as a woman. I wondered why I was so petrified originally. I had been out in public dressed several times. My wife yelled at me because she thought I wanted to show off. She did laugh at my experience.

[Stephanie47]

Unless you're suspecting the person knocking on the door has a key to enter, what are you afraid of? Sometimes when I am en femme I her the engine of the UPS truck. The delivery person may knock on the door. I'm under no obligation to answer. Sometimes there is a misdelivery of mail and my neighbor knocks and ultimately leaves it on the door step. My excuse, if I need one, is I am taking a shower. Just continue with what you're doing.

Now, if the person is knocking and yelling fire, well, that may be a different story.

[Krisi]

I suspect on some level you are hoping to get caught. Theres a current thread on this very topic.
As for the mustache, that's a little strange, your wife insisting you keep it so you won't go out as a woman. Does she not trust you? Do you not trust you?

[Jaylyn]

Hence another advantage of living in the country in Texas.... You can hear anyone driving up the country road cause the dogs start barking. Gives ya a little time and even if the door is unlocked and open no one around would open it with an invite or they'd get mouth full of buck shot.. I have had the UPS guy come while I was dressed and the door was open...we have another glass screen door outside to let the light in. He knocked several times. I stayed in the den. He just left the package on the truck Ranch Hand bumper and left. He probably know someone was home both trucks here and a jeep. Wife's and her car were in town. Even if he didn't get any one to the door he was not going to open the door. For this part of dressing I'm glad I live in the boonies.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi laura, It's just a matter of time till you get caught.

[Laura Collette]

I suspect on some level you are hoping to get caught. Theres a current thread on this very topic.

Krisi, could you tell me the title of the Hoping to Get Caught thread? That's an interesting idea.

[julia marie]

I work at home, and I do like to dress while I work. Sometimes I'll do makeup, but not usually. On a makeup day, I would just have to ignore the door. On a no-makeup day I keep a pair of boy jeans and a shirt handy while i work. Then, if I think it's a neighbor or someone I'm willing to see, I can do the quick change, stash the girl clothes and forms, and open the door (not letting them in all the way) if they are persistent. (Hasn't happened yet, but I try to be ready).

[mechamoose]

I have been making it a point to answer the door for deliveries like food in my 'home mode'... skirt & cami. These typical 'normal dudes' trying REALLY hard not let on or to say anything so as to endanger their tip.

(Yah, kind of evil)

I'm kind of enjoying how I'm making them feel things outside of their comfort zone. Yes, I'm a Bull moose in a dress with pretty nails.. who wants pizza!?!

i KNOW I'm not going to get acceptance. Part of me just wants their silent response. I want you to be uncomfortable and say nothing ANYWAY.

}:>

- MM

[lpjamey]

The same thing happened to me several years ago and I thought I was going to die! I was dressed up and someone came to the door as I was walking around in my new heels and I freaked out. I was using water balloons for breast and was shaking like a leaf!

[lingerieLiz]

When I first moved to rural America and was moving in I decided to put on a dress and have lunch. Sooo, there I was in full fem mode blouse, sheath dress, bra giving me projection and nylons. I hear someone at the screen door knock and as I get up to see who it might be my new neighbor walks in. By the time I was half way up he is standing next to me. He says hello i'm your neighbor. I tell him I'll be right out. run to the back room and start to change and he comes back in. I slip on a pair of pants and sandals only to realize my nylons are showing. Well I go out and he starts filling me in on all the local info. After we walk around the yard some as he tells me about all the wild life he reaches out and says take care hope you enjoy living here.

We became pretty friendly, but he never mentioned what I had on.