One for the GG's (and others) -- Dream interpretation

[MissTee]

So my wife has this knack for remembering her dreams. Me, I only remember if I slept or not. Anyway, she calls me the other day and explains this dream she had which really rattled her. She wanted my opinion, or my interpretation of it. Here goes:

She is standing on one end of this big wooden beam that crosses a divide of some kind. On the other end of the beam stands Misty. Misty with a chainsaw that is. So, as my wife begins to make her way across the beam and towards the other side towards Misty (which is me, dressed), Misty fires up the chainsaw and begins to cut through the beam. Several scenarios play out and the dream repeats itself.

My wife asked me what I thought the dream meant. Hoping to diffuse the obvious I said, "It means Misty is good with a chainsaw."

My wife half grunted and said, "You're really shallow sometimes." I chuckled and moved us along, but I could tell the dream really bothered her.

To give you some back drop, I'm working a couple of states away from home and have been for a year. Last time we were together was about a week and a half ago. I fly home again next week for Easter weekend. Sometimes it can be as much as 3 weeks apart. Then, we're together for a few weeks as she will come here, or I travel home for a few days. No doubt the separation is tough at times, but up until now it's pretty much been a non-event.

Any thoughts??

[Jess Marie]

I am big into dream interpretation. I write my dreams down the minute I wake up in a journal in my nightstand and then read into it later.

I highly suggest she buys a dream interpretation book.

Dreams are not meant to be taken at face value, for instance:

Bridges (the beam would be a bridge): The act of a bridge being destroyed can be taken a few ways, but the way I would most associate it to you is separation and/or a lack of choices. Her unconscious thoughts of MISTY destroying the bridge would leave me to assume she feels that Misty is causing trouble in your relationship. Because Misty is breaking the bridge when she tries to make her way to you, she feels victimized by Misty.

Entrapment: I'm going to assume that this wooden beam is in a closed off room without doors or Misty may have been blocking the only door out of the room. This is purely speculation on my part, so don't take it too seriously. But, by her feel entrapped in the room with the divide, she feels a lack of choices or that she is stuck. The fact that Misty is on the bridge that may or may not lead out of the situation means that she feels like Misty is the reason she feels a lack of choices.

I hope this didn't rain on your parade too much. But you should inform your wife to seriously invest in a dream book or two. I own 13. I have almost memorized what things mean. She should keep a dream journal next to her bed and write down her dreams as soon as she wakes up. 5 minutes after waking up, one forgets 90% of the dream. She can go through and interpret them later. But keep in mind that dreams should not be taken at face value and they should be thought of as a mosaic, a grand masterpiece of your subconscious feelings and thoughts expressed through visual metaphors.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

MissTee, I remember my dreams vividly, too. My H, like you, remembers he went to bed!

Anyway, I sometimes have dreams involving my H dressed and almost always they're about the 'femme side' destroying things like what your wife experienced. I finally figured out two things were happening, and I'm not sure the answer is appropriate for this section of the forum but I'll write them anyway.

Hormones are the first reason. I have more vivid dreams at certain 'times' and my H actually laughs when I tell him I've had one and will remind me of this fact. Incredibly, I can remember my dreams, but not what day of the month it is!

Second reason involves feeling disconnected or insecure, even just a little. If we don't talk much the day before I tend to have these dreams as clearly I still see this side of my H as something of a threat? I imagine even the most accepting wife has these fears? So your time away might be causing her subconscious to over-think everything. Hey, we're women, it's our right to do this even when we're asleep

I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks as that's just my personal experience. In fact, given my hormonal state, I might take a Valium tonight, lol.

[Kate Simmons]

Because of your job and the conditions she may fear you are going to "cut" her out of your life.With Misty you have a readily available woman any time you want. Just an off hand observation my friend.

[noeleena]

Hi,

My thoughts are you are cutting her out of your life, as to the reason it could be work related, though there is more,
the over riding reason is you are changing, in ways she is finding very hard .

...noeleena...

[Marcelle]

Not to rain on anyone's parade here but I thought I would give both the psychoanalysis side of dreams and the science side.

Science: Most scientists cannot not agree on why we dream what we do know is that dreaming occurs during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep which is the last stage in a cycle of sleeping spanning approximately 90 minutes. We spend about 2 hours a night dreaming on average. Measurement of brain activity indicates that just prior to REM brain signals begin in the pons (rear of the brain) up to the hypothalamus then on to the cerebral cortex (grey matter associated with learning, memory and information processing). Signals from the pons also act to paralyze the body of movement during sleep (disruption of these signals can cause people to act out their dreams - movers and shakers) It is the working theory that the dreams are the cerebral cortex's way of finding meaning of random signals from the pons thus creating a story (dream) of fragmented thoughts . . . hence the reason why dreams seem so weird and fragmented.

Psychoanalysis: Freud believed that dreams acted as a safety valve and that the dreams were manifest of underlying issues in a dreamers life and acted to bring insight to problems, worries and so forth. If we take an literal translation of your wife's dream:

The divide: Freud would see this as distance between the dreamer and the object. Which could mean that she feels separated by a divide between her and your femme persona. This could be as easy as her trying to understand and the divide is the distance she needs to go or she truly feels alone in this thing you do.

Beams: speak of support, safety and security (you see where I am going with this). The fact it is made of wood could be interpreted as makeshift, good enough. A beam spanning a divide speaks to balance (not in that sense of feeling balanced) but the concern needed to balance oneself over the divide.

Chainsaw: interesting concept in dreams as destruction by another with a chainsaw is seen as that person not being sensitive to the dreamers needs and issues in life. Wanton destruction is always seen as negative to the dreamer.

So for the translation - remember this is just how it might play out in psychoanalysis and is not my interpretation. I apologize for the negative spin but that is how it played out

Your wife's concern is that a distance is placed between her and your femme persona and much concern is a balancing act across this divide to reach understanding - something she is struggling with. The support she feels from you (the beam) while adequate (wood) she does not see it as strong and secure as it can be easily destroyed. The destruction of this beam by your femme persona may be seen as sabotage of this support with a lack of sensitivity to her needs.

What do I believe? Well I am a science girl and always believed dreams are just random association of crossed signals.

Hugs

Isha

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Isha, can this pons thingy be affected by hormones??

If not, do they make replacements as I think mine's broken!

[Marcelle]

Hi Tinkerbell,

The Pons . . . no. However the hypothalamus yes. There is a body of research which indicates that women tend to have more vivid and emotional dreams during that time. The hypothalamus sends messages to the pituitary (small endocrine gland that secretes vital hormones) which in turn influences the adrenal glands and ultimately the production of progesterone. As such, it is believed that during dreaming signals through the hypothalamus are likely increased due to increased hormone release.

Hugs

Isha

[Laura912]

Actually progesterone is from corpus luteum in ovary following ovulation. Any remote amounts of progesterone in males comes from alternate pathways. Not to sure how CDing impacts that.

[Marcelle]

Hi Laura,

I believe Tinkerbell was asking about herself as a GG and dreaming during that time of the month. Hence the progesterone.

Hugs

Isha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Misty, My only question is, Do you own a chainsaw ??

[Beverley Sims]

A dream full of symbolism, can mean anything, she probably misses being together.

[MissTee]

Wonderful feedback everyone. Thank you so much! I didn't see any of the answers as rain on my parade. I must admit, as dreams go this was as straight forward in its message that dreams can get. My wife is very supportive and we have a solid relationship, plus almost 38 years together. The separation, then, is no doubt quite hard on us both and I think this may be a stress crack showing through.

Wasn't always this way. When the economy took a turn for the worst, I had to become mobile to remain employed. Given that I am only a very few years away from retirement from this job, we both agreed to stick it out. We also have now talked about how we close the gap emotionally even if we can't close the gap physically. I am flying home later this week, and we'll have some time together (although brief) and that should help.

Do you own a chainsaw

I do Blue Orchid, but it's somewhere in the garage and has been unused for years

@Jess - Thanks for your expertise. Sounds like other agree.
@Tink - Thank you for the GG view. I didn't think hormones, but that could definitely be an influence since as my wife puts it, " . . . the change is upon us."
@Isha - Wow. A well dimensioned answer. Cool.