Starting

[Michelletg]

Hello everyone
Like I said yesterday in my intro I'm just starting. And right now I have no clue where to start. So I'm turning to you all. Where do I start? I would like to start hormones but I can't afford going to a therapist right now. Thanks ahead of time

[Frances]

Then you should put transition on hold. You need to be at a place where your life is secure enough that you can afford a therapist. Find work, go to school, etc. How could you, for instance, afford hair removal, but not a therapist. I urge to wait until you are able to see a therapist.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Remember you want to live a good life above all else.

Obviously none of us can know your situation well enough to say much more but the comment Frances made about "be at a place where your life is secure enough..." applies to much more than therapy.

[SusanLaine]

To answer your question, the best place to start is by educating yourself on what HRT means and what your ultimate goal is. HRT implies transitioning but does not require it so you'll need to think through some pretty deep questions like: do I ultimately want to transition, how do I handle the changes that often accompany HRT, how will I pay for HRT and possibly other relates services like electrolysis, etc.

Reading this forum on others' experiences is a good place to start educating yourself but there are plenty of other online forums and places to investigate as well. A lot of people start with a therapist but that's not always necessary depending on your exact situation.

I was in your position just months ago so I wanted offer some help - for me, and maybe for you, the hardest question, by far, was coming to the realization that I wanted HRT. After educating myself and finding a good DR that can help me it's been pretty easy - and my DR appreciates an informed patient. :-)

[Jennifer in CO]

Susan has the hammer...cuz she hit the nail on the head with that one.

Her comment is very straight to the point...are you ready for the consequences that HRT will bring? Besides the potential physical changes (i.e. breasts...maybe) there will most definitely be emotional/mental and internal changes that will be more obvious than just "breasts".
A Therapist is not going to be the end-all, but you'll need add'l support to agree or disagree that yes you are on the right track. Heck, even 2-4 sessions with someone can at least get you to the point of knowing if you’re headed in the right direction. Don't put the cart before the horse...even if the cart is more affordable.
It's a very long story (and no I'm not telling here), but when I started hormones they were intended for "recreational" use; at least till I had some shape to my (then) 28" trunk 6ft tall stick of a body. Things happened and I got more than just a little definition. I had my wife and others support and transitioning became a matter of necessity more than want. You don't grow a pair of nearly C's on a 28" frame and they not go un-noticed…and in that day-n-age only girls had breasts, especially that big, so it was easier to be a girl than a boy. So I transitioned. Was I ready for it?...no. Was it my intent?...no. Did I have a Therapist?...ok…no. But by then I did have a lot of friends and a Dr to guide me so with all that it was just like one.
Anyway, that was then and this is now…talk to someone. There are enough free clinics in larger towns that you can talk to someone and get feedback – positive OR negative if you can’t afford it. The new Ins plans from DC put TG/TS/T…at the mental diagnosis stage so it should be covered by your ins….and EVERYONE has insurance …right?...

[Angela Campbell]

So I transitioned. Was I ready for it?...no. Was it my intent?...no. Did I have a Therapist?...ok…no. But by then I did have a lot of friends and a Dr to guide me so with all that it was just like one. ..

just like one. Hmmm no. Not at all.

Every person I have seen who had a very difficult time of transitioning bypassed the"system" in some way . They thought they didn't need it.

Going on your own? Good luck!

[JohnH]

If you do see yourself clear to go on M2F HRT don't let the cost issue get in the way. If you go with injectables it is really cheap such as $55.00 per 4 months for the estrogen. Spironolactone (used to suppress testosterone) is a cheap generic drug.

But DO have a doctor prescribe the medication. I self medicated initially and I do not recommend that.

I see you are in your twenties. At that young age a man is expected to look like a man. M2F HRT is a drastic step and it is nothing to be taken lightly especially at your young age. If you do go on HRT at your young age you might want to bank your sperm if you want to have children in the future. So I urge you to get counselling.

I on the other hand am almost 62 years of age where I can be a crazy old geezer, and gender ambiguity is more tolerated. I can still live as a man publicly at my age, but I could not imagine myself living as a man with the body changes if I were in my 20's.

Johanna

[I Am Paula]

I used to think the gatekeepers were the bad guys. I didn't need anybody to re affirm my gender.
Now that I've been on HRT for ten months, I'm so glad I was forced to jump thru some of the hoops. I didn't see the therapist long, but she did give me some insight. She also forced me to wait a bit and really study my own motives.
I never realized before HRT, despite tons of research, what a profound effect it has on every part of my life. Luckily all for the better in my case, but not to be entered into lightly.
Good luck.

[Michelle.M]

You don't grow a pair of nearly C's on a 28" frame and they not go un-noticed…and in that day-n-age only girls had breasts, especially that big, so it was easier to be a girl than a boy. So I transitioned.

Transition by default? Glad it worked for you, but sounds like a recipe for regret to me.

just like one. Hmmm no. Not at all.

Every person I have seen who had a very difficult time of transitioning bypassed the"system" in some way . They thought they didn't need it.

Going on your own? Good luck!

Troof!

Everyone I have ever met who decided to eschew a standard treatment paradigm experienced years of frustration and took much longer to effect their own transition than they’d have experienced had they made use of the available resources. In fact, most of these same people (with whom I am still in contact) started their transitions long before I did and are no further along then they were when I met them.

You can go you own way and you’ll probably get there eventually, but if you choose to use a non-standard approach to transition then you also choose to accept non-standard results.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Here's a hint...whatever you do,

Don't take advice from people that claim to have a perfect body from "recreational hormone use" and were then were forced feminized into transition.

Regardless of the veracity of this, its not any way to approach a life changing situation.

[Jennifer in CO]

Anglea, Ok so I cheated. My Dr had a minor in Clinical Psychology…so it was just like one…(two for the price of one!!)

Michelle, there was no regret from me as a life-long cross-dresser and the slow time-line of the transition (pretty much a 6 month period). The regret was from my wife after almost 5 years and for her I came back to the dark side. The regret from me would be realized years later that I didn't stay on the fem side.

[Angela Campbell]

Exactly.

no offense intended, just my observation.

[Michelle.M]

Michelle, there was no regret from me as a life-long cross-dresser and the slow time-line of the transition (pretty much a 6 month period).

Slow? If you "transitioned" in 6 months and then came back, I'd say that you didn't transition at all.

[Kathryn Martin]

when I started hormones they were intended for "recreational" use; at least till I had some shape to my (then) 28" trunk 6ft tall stick of a body. Things happened and I got more than just a little definition. I had my wife and others support and transitioning became a matter of necessity more than want. You don't grow a pair of nearly C's on a 28" frame and they not go un-noticed…and in that day-n-age only girls had breasts, especially that big, so it was easier to be a girl than a boy. So I transitioned. Was I ready for it?...no. Was it my intent?...no. Did I have a Therapist?...ok…no. But by then I did have a lot of friends and a Dr to guide me so with all that it was just like one.

This sounds like forced sissification fantasy come to life. Hormones for recreational purposes my ass.

So if you want that kind of advice, girl, you got it made.

[Jennifer in CO]

very long story short - age 13 was put on a medication for a kidney problem. Got married at age 20 - still on the kidney med. I was a 6ft tall 28" stick...that looked pretty decent when cross-dressed which I enjoyed as did my new wife. Found a way to start hormones when I was 21 (Oct, 80). Due to effects of hormones transitioned 6/81. 9/81 found out the kidney med was acting like a T blocker. Went off hormones 07/82 and still on the kidney med. Went off kidney med 06/83. Began transition back to male 09/85. Moved to Colorado 03/86 as full time male. Five+ years from start to finish inc four+ years transitioned.

I think we're waaay far away from the OP's request.

My dear Michelletg, skip the Starbuck's or whatever vice you'd like to forgo and save those funds for the Therapist. You will find it money well spent both from peace of mind and medical support for the future. You could self-medicate buying drugs from your offshore provider of choice, but the human body is a complicated mess of balances that hormones when not done correctly (or possibly correctly) will screw you up worse than you could imagine.
Several years ago I wanted to start taking them again. Peace of mind, needed to know, reclaim a piece of lost me, there were lots of reasons. So without a therapist I mail-ordered a mild doseage and started back on them. But I did so at the same time informing my now Dr what I was doing and why. Twice monthly I went in and had vitals checked. Mentally (I'm sure it was me and not the drugs yet) I felt like I was on top of the moon (again) but after 4 weeks my Dr called a cold stop. My blood pressure was all over the place. It took months before it was "normal" again after stopping.

So there's more to the Therapist deal than just someone telling you yes or no. You will have an Endo involved, your Dr, possibly the Therapist, and sooner or later family, friends, co-workers, the list goes on. The Therapist just helps to make sure your head is screwed on straight in the beginning before you start a long ride of which only part of it is screwin with your body. Sorry my past-life derailed your train for a short while

[Rianna Humble]

Michelle, you don't say anything here or in your introduction about why you want to start cross-dressing and transitioning,just that you have had a feeling since you were about 8 that you would like to try it. Hormones are not something you just try out for fun, they are serious life-changing medication.

I am not saying that you are not transsexual, but you don't give us any information to suggest that you are.

If you cannot afford a therapist - even at student rates - then you cannot afford the medical support needed for transition let alone a long course of legitimate hormones. True you can find stuff at all sorts of prices on-line and if you are lucky they will not contain anything poisonous and may even contain some of what you think you are buying, but that is not a good way to proceed.

You ask where to start, I suggest that a good place would be in setting out honestly what makes you want to transition then plan a timeline to get the therapy you need so that you can check for yourself that this is the best thing for you. You say elsewhere that you are about to graduate, why not check out what therapy is available on your student medical insurance?