connection between bullying and crossdressing?

[Dianne S]

I was (and am) very small. However, I was never bullied. I guess something about my personality told people not to mess with me. And those who did only did it once. Despite being small, I was not afraid to throw a punch and was especially unafraid of fighting dirty... a knee to the groin or the sudden wrenching of a finger back can do wonders for making people leave you alone.

[Helena Gwyn]

I've been bullied for many years. I don't think my desire to CD is related to it. The way I see it, I was bullied by the boys because I was different. Because of who I am, in all my aspects (being the desire to CD and others as well), I see things differently, and all that is different is often automatically considered to be wrong or at least a target.

[Eryn]

In high school I was small, smart, and lacking in some social skills so I might as well have had a big target painted on my chest. Being bullied was pretty much a continuous part of my high school routine.

Does bullying make crossdressers? Not likely, or about 1/3 of the population would be considerably prettier.

[KaceyR]

Not likely, or about 1/3 of the population would be considerably prettier.

Hah! I like that

In my exp, bullying didn't create the CDer.. Yes, some did occur but it was due to my 'weaker' and not so manly attributes I guess. I was smaller than other kids, hands and body a bit than others... Due to this didn't play sports and played with girls more in grade school. I was more imaginative,emotional,and empathic..not manly. Because of all of this I got introverted more later on.. No recess anymore to keep playing with the girls, and I wasn't manly enough I guess to get along with the boys. So Still got bullied a couple times in jr high.. And I certainly didn't really improve much in HS.

So while I think my wimpy attributes was more a cause or an indicator that I'd love CDing (wish I'd started earlier...sigh-feel a couple decades wasted), then that aspect attracted bullies. Bullying didn't cause CDing..but probably is a good indicator of what was beneath the surface.

[Sarah21]

Bullying is horrible, what ever the reason.
It's more common now because of all the social media and the internet.

I was bullied growing up because I was a bit different to the other boys.
I just dealt with it but I knew when I got home I could just close the door and forget about it until the next day at school.

Nowadays, it must be horrible for kids, it's constant, 24 hours a day. I have heard so many stories of young people taking their own lives because of bullying.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Does bullying make crossdressers? Not likely, or about 1/3 of the population would be considerably prettier.

So true. I don't think many people escape this phenomenon. Maybe crossdressing is an escape for SOME who are bullied, but I'd expect it's less a cause and more a trigger for something that was already in the making.

As for bullies, I want them eradicated off the earth. They make being a mother so much harder and I worry for my young kids everyday

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Adrienner, I was cross dressing long before being bullied.

[Janine cd]

I was a heavy weight in my elementary school years. Although I was big and seemed to be masculine in my behavior, I was always interested in what the girls were doing. I was bullied relentlessly in the 7th and 8th grades and dreaded walking home alone when my aggressers were nearby.

[Eryn]

...Nowadays, it must be horrible for kids, it's constant, 24 hours a day. I have heard so many stories of young people taking their own lives because of bullying.

...As for bullies, I want them eradicated off the earth. They make being a mother so much harder and I worry for my young kids everyday

Age might dull our memories but children and adolescents can be pretty savage. They haven't learned the subtleties of adult social interaction and tend to resort to more simple and direct structure. For many of these, if adults are not in sight they act upon purely animal instincts. In the childhood social structure there are either leaders, members, hangers-on, or outside the group. Those outside the group are the ones who tend to be bullied, either physically or psychologically. Often it isn't the leaders doing the physical bullying, but the hangers-on, in an attempt to curry favor with the leaders. You can catch and punish them but the leaders still get away clean.

Sadly, I see little that can be done about bullying. It's really a parenting issue, and the parents of those truly responsible don't have much motivation to change the situation. Their children are happy being the leaders and their parents are proud of that status.

[noeleena]

Hi.

There was abuse in our family how much i had a mind blank and no memory for 7 years my brain woke up at age 10 plus bullyed at school , i was a fast runner had to to get away till i was cornered and more bullying, you know 4 against 1 and they were taller an two were heavy'er,

I could have easyily taken them down as i was taught how to just i had a fear of like my father ( only 5 years ) had i gone into a fight rage i would not have known when to stop,and the fear of killing them of cause he was a wrestler and had a temper / rage , i allso had / have that,

So you have that hanging over you, youll understand what i went through of cause theres a lot more and it is not good, so the reason i was / am passive, or a non combatant,

Some may say oh yes a male trait maybe yes, try being female with it, does that change the story,

very strong just not a fighter, or aggressive, because i was passive had to , may have been the reason or just had a soft nature ,reason for being bullyed

as to dressing never did it unless i was dressed by others,

...noeleena...

[Lynn Marie]

I was a pretty successful kid! Especially after I was held back a year in the 5th grade. This made me a more mature tall kid than my classmates. In addition, I lived with my grandmother for a few years who was a wonderful influence on me. In fighting, I was able to hold my own, but I'd still come away with cuts, bruises, and other painful injuries, so I avoided physical confrontation as a pretty unsatisfactory method of solving conflicts. So, no, bullies didn't make me a CDer.

[stephNE]

I started cross dressing when I was very little, probably around age five. At that time I had not been bullied. But as I got older (8-9), I was fat, slow and different from the other kids, and was bullied all thru the end of high school. Being bullied may have contributed to me looking inward to try to be happy, but bullying did not cause the CDing.

[Confucius]

Yes, I was the skinniest guy in school, quiet and very sensitive. Bullies were everywhere! It seems as if all these guys were trying to out -bully each other and establish themselves as the alpha male. These bullies seemed to attract some loyal lieutenants who only reinforced their own dominance. However I kept a low profile and while I was bullied, I did not get the worse of it. There were a couple other guys I knew who took the bullying much worse than me.

I don't think the bullying made me a cross-dresser. I know several cross-dressers who used to be bullies themselves...

I think that the majority of cross-dressers have several things in common. In our formative years we believed that females have it better in the world than males. We over-valued the feminine virtues while failing to recognize masculine virtues. And most important of all - our brains were hard-wired during synaptogenesis and neural pruning such that our brains now interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. Now when we cross-dress our brains respond by releasing a host of neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc) which produce the sensations of well-being, pleasure, gratification and bonding.

[Beverley Sims]

I suffered bullying at school, it did not have any predisposition to my dressing as that was totally offside to any other problems I experienced.

[Alice Torn]

I was the baby of my family, had two older twin brothers, who ridiculed me my entire 60 years. In school, i was tall and skinny, and weak boundries. I was picked on at every school i attended, and seldom fought back. I felt gulity if i fought back. i have suffered awful guilt for being alive, for dressing, for wanting a wife, yada yada. I deal with it, and do better for a while, then it comes back in a dream, or out of the blue. Guilt trips are my Achilles heel. My older brothers still guilt trip me, if i am around them much. A family that had fake love. I am very paranoid, too, and it keeps me from going out dressed, too. Some days are better than others, but i always felt very different,paranoid, and gulity. I have to constantly deal with it.

[Jocee]

Oh yes...... I was horribly bullied when I was a kid.

[LilSissyStevie]

Sure I was bullied just like everyone else in my neighborhood. Think of it as the hazing rituals of the lumpen-proletariat. Being bullied by my so-called peers was the least of my problems. The adult bullies were the worst. Did it have anything to do with my becoming a CD? I'm inclined to think so, but it's not something that can be proved one way or the other.

[mechamoose]

I was born skinny, grew up in a brutal neighborhood, and endured a lot of bullying as a youth. Such an environment makes some young men tough and aggressive. It did not with me. Even today, I am not "tough," confrontational or aggressive. And I hate the pressure I have always felt from other men (and GGs) to have such characteristics.

You didn't just learn to be tough, hon. You learned how to survive.

<3

- MM

[devida]

It connects as far as cross dressing is non conforming behavior and bullies pick on the children who do not conform. I was never bullied. I should have been. I was darker and a different race to my class mates and I was not very strong. But I was stubborn and would fight way longer than any bully wanted. So the bullies always went on to easier targets. But I didn't and don't act differently from the norm as a response. It's just who I am.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I was bullied my entire life

[mechamoose]

When I was 10ish, and in the grade before "middle school", I experienced 25-30 boys simultaneously charge across the school yard, surround me, and proceed to beat me. There was no where to go, no teacher to call to. It had been instigated my the local 'big & mature' kid.

I hadn't yet had the slightest idea that I was different. And if I was , *why* I was different. All I knew what this mass of people thought it was The Thing To Do to chase me down and punch and kick me. They felt empowered by it. To this day I still don't understand why.

I'm on the Autism spectrum. So are all my kids. I know that means that I don't see or 'get' the world the same way that the Muggles do. I know I'm different now, and I know why. I have certain gifts, and certain limitations.
But then, I was 10, and every guy I knew was willing to participate in making me eat dirt.

What if you don't *know* that you are different or why you are different? Does that absolve those stupid jock boys rolling along with mob mentality?

All my friends then were girls. Strong girls. Active girls. One girl.. this wonderful Greek amazon of a kid.. (the sister of a guy who would become my best friend) came to my rescue. Pushed and shoved and shouted. They stood down to her challenges.

Boys can be such a**h*les.

- MM

[sanderlay]

Research I have seen has shown that mothers of babies during the fifties and earlier were given drugs filled with estrogen when at risk of miscarriage. My mother had a miscarriage between the birth of myself and my older brother (would have been a girl...tee hee), and so is likely to have taken these drugs. If I remember correctly, research has shown that high levels of E in the bloodstream of an expectant mother can interrupt the development of a fetal male brain at the point when "normal" gender identity characteristics are forming.

Samantha,

Thanks for that information. That might be the explanation as to why I am the way I am as I am a child of the mid 1950's. It might have been done as a preventive measure. I was her first child. But I do not have solid evidence this was done. So it remains a theory.

What ever the cause I do accept this is just the way I am. I don't blame anyone. But I do not believe the bulling theory for myself because I had the feelings before the bullying. So the effect was before the cause if it were bullying.

Added: This is what I found with a Google search... 1950's medicine to prevent miscarriage. This is the drug... Diethylstilbestrol.

Also see this thread in 2011 DES sons.

[Carly CD]

I was a tall skinny kid who wore glasses and for a short time I was bullied, but then I fought back. This was about the 3rd grade. From then on I had a short fuse. I was never bullied after that. Now I will admit I did become somewhat of a bully you could say. I wasn't overly mean to anyone or hurt them. But I was good for obsessive amount of jokes on people sometimes. Maybe my connection between my short fuse and crossdressing was to prove I was all boy to myself? IDK. As I got older, I lost the short fuse and although I am still a prankster... I try to be careful on what I do and make sure everyone involved has a good time.

[Robert]

After working as a high school teacher for many years, and reading many discussion threads like this, it might be safe to say that just about all kids are bullied at school. Schools are, in my experience, great big meat grinders that tend to do more harm than good. That's why I got out of the education system after 10 years of trying to change it from within.

Lumping 100s of hormone ravaged adolescents together, based on little more than a common age, and geographical location, is one of the craziest ideas humanity has ever come up with. Add in, limited budgets and political agendas, its a wonder anyone comes out the other side without serious issues.

As to a link between bullying and CDing? I have no idea.

[Aylineira]

To the OP,

I don't think bullying had anything to do with my CDing. I remember wanting to wear my mom's heels and heeled boots when before all of that ever began.