It's almost impossible to miss.

[Christen]

We enjoy crossdressing because we have conditioned ourselves to? and it always has a sexual connection?
Sorry, I started crossdressing at 6 and have done so since then, enjoyed the sensations it gives me, since then. I wasn't forced to, I enjoyed it before any idea of conditioning could occur. I have had periods of up to two years where I didn't crossdress, but that conditioning didn't succeed longer term. Conditioning, nup! It's something else.
Sexual connections, oh sure my fantasies are maybe different to some. So what. Sure I had periods where dressing was pretty much a sexual act, but it isn't now, and it wasn't pre-puberty. So yes it can be, but not necessarily.
The more you try to put this business in a box the more incorrect you're going to be. And generalising about anything is a sure way to get a very skewed view. We're all connected in a way but we're all very different. Maybe we need to spend more time appreciating that.

[lingerieLiz]

I once was part of a very frank discussion with several women and myself. It was why I enjoyed wearing lingerie and women's clothes. They asked the same question that you did and had pre supposed ideas. I asked how many of then at one time wore sexy lingerie and clothes to be attractive. As we discussed it, all admitted that wearing sexy lingerie and clothes gave them a sense of excitement and a feeling of sexuality.

So, because as a CD I should not have the same excitement and sexual excitement? Lingerie is designed to provide sexual interest unlike men's clothes which is designed to be utilitarian.

[Ezekiel]

This doesn't explain me or others like me, I don't even like panties or bras, don't even use breast forms I'm all about the look of the cloths, aesthethic and expression of it. For some it might have a sexual component, for others it might be complete, but there are also those who have no connection to sexuality. Mostly about identity and expression. I don't even like sex to begin with.

[sometimes_miss]

And DID you or did you not at least pass through the O phase? Or are still in it?

I'm not sure what you're trying to say. so we'll have to guess. 'Still in the O phase'? What is that, perpetual orgasm? Perhaps while crossdressed? Now then.

Like some others, my crossdressing started way before I had any sexual feelings at all. So there was no connection to orgasms, still isn't. Sure, sometimes I masturbate while dressed as a girl, but it's pretty rare, mostly it's the pretty standard guy with a fantasy of whoever I saw in the most recent provocative state either in real life, magazine or movies. That's never changed since I was a kid; it's not real complicated, it's over pretty quick to satisfy an urge, then I move on and get back to work (boy would my employer hate to think about that going on while I'm 'on the clock'). However, I do understand the desire of people to want to feel as normal as possible, so they will often insist that what they experience, everyone else must have also experienced, or are simply in denial. Also, there are a lot of people here who will insist that 'they are born that way', because that excuses them from any responsibility at all of their predilection towards female feelings. Then you have the situations where there are mixed influences, and that's where it can easily get confusing. Be what you enjoy being, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. If your crossdressing involves sex, go for it. Get as wild and crazy with the clothes as you can, indulge in whatever fantasies put lead in the pencil! Life is way too short to worry about what other people's opinions are about our sexual enjoyment.
Oh. And as far as turning into little old asexual grandmas, ain't gonna happen. I've felt like a 14 year old girl now for almost 40 years, and don't think that's going to go away any time soon. While there are some guys who's testosterone levels deteriorate and the sexual desire goes away (and there are certainly times when I would love to not be distracted by the sight or smell of a hot babe while I'm trying to concentrate on something more serious) I dont see that ever happening. Pretty women, and thoughts of sex are too enjoyable to ever disappear just because I'm not as able to be the sexual athlete anymore.

[Lucy_Bella]

If your crossdressing involves sex, go for it. Get as wild and crazy with the clothes as you can, indulge in whatever fantasies put lead in the pencil! Life is way too short to worry about what other people's opinions are about our sexual enjoyment..

I can not speak for Wild on the point of the "o".. I do know that having an "
o" doesn't always mean masterbating ,in fact it's a rare occasion for me if at all most of the time now a days..

You can get the "o" feeling with out going through the typical stereo type method there is such a condition a "o" can last a long time and is different from ejaculation although they could or can happen at the same time..

Here is a link ..http://www.whitelotuseast.com/MaleSexuality.htm

[Wildaboutheels]

It becomes ever more clear.

What if I promise everyone here that watching just O N E episode of NGC's Brain Games, is not going to ruin your CDing life?

You started dressing when you were 5?

So WHAT!

IF you passed through the O phase and IF you felt shame and guilt, your HUMAN BRAIN in all likelihood will try to help you get rid of that guilt. Or brains do this many, many times a day.

It's not a matter of Opinion just good ol' Scientific FACT.

Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, maybe you are one of those "special" people? You can see someone yawn and it does not affect you in the slightest way at all?

[sara lahna]

what on earth are you talking about???

[Eryn]

I think that most of us had some arousal connected with dressing at first. In my case it was because I confused my interest in feminine things with my normal male interest in females. My first teenage encounters with feminine things, particularly those forbidden intimate garments, did produce an arousal, but at that age just about anything and everything produced one!

Since I started dressing fully, in my 50s, I can say that CDing is not a sexual thing for me. No reaction at all, which is just as well as it would ruin a nice tuck!

[ReineD]

Here is a link ..http://www.whitelotuseast.com/MaleSexuality.htm

Thanks for posting this, Lucy. It's the best article I've read about male sexuality. I'll read the ones they have on female sexuality as well.

In the Excitement Through Plateau section, they describe the early stages of male sexual arousal and they say there is no limit as to how long this can last. This would explain the many descriptions here of being dressed as euphoric, thrilling, reaching a high, etc. (I've never understood why putting on clothing would make anyone feel this way.) Maybe you're correct, those who describe the dressing as a high, etc, don't believe it is sexual unless it ends in ejaculation when in fact, they may be in the early stages of arousal throughout the time they are dressing even if they don't get to stage 2.

At any rate, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being sexually excited about the CDing (for those to whom it applies), no matter the level. The word "fetish" used to have a negative, somewhat perverted connotation, but nowadays the experts are telling people to enjoy their alternate triggers and just define them as valid, alternate sexual attractions. The only time the 'alternate' attraction would be harmful is if it had a negative impact on someone's life, such as if it produced an inability to concentrate on work, or if it got in the way of a sexual relationship with a partner (who does not share the fetish), or if it caused a desire to isolate (stay home and be excited rather than go out and do things with friends).

[Ms. Alexis]

So which came first the Chicken or the Egg? Or did both arrive at the same time? The point is as many have said is that we are Sexual creatures (Thank God!)... From Birth, though it's expression is a bit delayed. And I personally believe that our Gender (Separate from the Hardware provided) is also at least predisposed if not determined before we are born. So the "Big O" going hand in hand with Dressing etc. should be a given. To carry this Idea a little bit further I personally think that making gender a Binary concept is ridiculous in the first place and more a societal control because of the fear of anyone who is outside of the myth of what the ruling class call "Normal". Gender is a line with infinite points on it between what we call Male and Female traits with infinite possibilities. Many cultures already recognize this, and even many Native American cultures speak of those who are "Two Spirited", placing them into a category of their own without prejudice. Even in nature there is variety in gender attributes regardless of Sex. The flip side is that humans are always trying to build a better high, so if it pleases you to dress and pleases you to orgasm why not get a two for one special? The problem arises when we condition ourselves to where we can no longer separate or it becomes excessive to the point that we are doing it to the detriment of other areas of our lives (not going into that whole can of worms with relationships etc.)... which is where we start crossing into the grey zone between healthy and addictive behavior unless we have determined that we are going to transition, which is a different scenario.

[sanderlay]

Reine,

Thanks for posting this link about Male Sexuality. What's interesting is talking about the different phases of arousal. And in the early phase the brain is flooded with endorphins. Now endorphins by themselves are not necessarily for just arousal. They are also used in pain management. See this article - Understanding Endorphins and Their Importance in Pain Management.

So just suppose for a moment that a person, like myself, that feels this attraction to the clothing gets a dose of endorphins as a reward for putting on the clothes. And thus the high that is described.

Now if a person, like myself, accepts to wear the clothing on a daily basis they don't get that same reward. The reward I feel is feeling normal as it relates to my gender identity. How the brain communicates this I do not know. But I know how I feel as compared to only dressing as a man.

Now as a man I know what arousal feels like, orgasm and ejaculation. Feeling normal feels different when I wear the clothes and feeling wrong feels different. Now I grant you that if I have not dressed for a week or so I'll probably feel that endorphin rush when I wear the clothes. And I might take that feeling and run with it to stage two and beyond. I am a sexual person. But I also can say no. But I normally wear the clothes every day. I do it to feel normal... not aroused.

So the endorphins appear from the outside to be a part of wearing the clothes, but the wearer can choose if they wish to arouse themselves. A separation. But when they are worn everyday this response seems to disappear. The high is gone but the wearer feels normal instead of feeling wrong. An even larger separation.

[Jenniferathome]

from the article,"orgasm & ejaculation are in fact separate events, although they seem to occur simultaneously. It is important to note that either of these events can occur in the absence of the other."

Who knew?! Al lI can say is that I'm batting 1000. Never a misfire. Maybe that's a record? Gotta check with Guiness

[Wildaboutheels]

I'm willing to bet that "many" of the folks who have "picture taking sessions" at home, end it with a ......

Bang?

And then the "Illusion" that might have taken an hour or two to "fabricate" [for some here] might be completely UNfabricated in just a minute or two? And/or maybe another minute or two for makeup removal?

This behavior^^^ IS commonly reported here. "I couldn't get out of the clothes quick enough".

There is no right or wrong to dressing Or WHY.

Unless it is hurting a Relationship of course as many have rightfully pointed out already.

[raleighbelle]

Thanks for the 'Facts'! Facts are facts and one cannot let opinions override facts. It really is nice when we can take complex subjects and simplify them into facts like that. I didn't think I started having 'O's until puberty, but I dressed before I ever started going to grade school, so obviously I must have been having 'O's all the time then. They weren't quite so messy then though.

One thing I don't understand though. When I did start having 'O's' at puberty, I did not have access to any women's clothing for many years. Yet I felt this way. I did however have tissues with me that I used every single time I had an 'O'. Amazingly, I do not have a major fetish for facial tissues. In fact, I don't even get all that sexually attracted when I see them. What's wrong with me?! Does that make me some kind of pervert because I am not behaving like one of Pavlov's Dogs?

Anyway, I want to thank you for sharing your expertise and giving us the straight facts, rather then some kind of opinion like most of us express on this site. That pretty much settles it all. But now I am more confused than ever.

[mechamoose]

Dressing isn't sexual for me. By itself it's just how I express myself.

Now, I may /swish more when dressed, and that may be more attractive to my mates.. and then it gets sexual.

}:>

- MM

[Lygophilia]

It can be possibility as you claim for most. Not sure about the O part, but I admit being not that educated on sex due to it's complexity. Seeing the answers in the topic on nongender specific clothes a few days ago, I'm not really surprised that most in the world would disagree with it, because of gender bias, lacking a sort of "excitement" that applies to them, and to who they can attract with it.

[Kate Simmons]

As we get older we begin to realize that, yep, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

[NicoleScott]

I read the OP and then re-read it, and I'm still scratching my head wondering what's the point? CDers are human, and humans are sexual creatures. For some CDers, women's clothing arouses. As one who dresses for pleasure, I'm glad it does. But I take at face value those who say CDing is not sexual for them. Is that so hard to do?

[MsVal]

One more data point:

I started crossdressing late in life. My sexual activity did not change. This leads me to believe that, in this single isolated case, crossdressing has no sexual component.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Lucy_Bella]

I will never say that the subject of this post fits all cders.. To me there are two types of MTF Cders .. Pleasure Dressers and Identity Dressers..

[samantha rogers]

I thought about skipping this thread altogether, but...oh, what the heck...
Yes, there was a time I thought it was sexual, and indeed, it almost always was... but...all the...well all the "things"... I have swallowed in the last four years... things I am not "allowed" to mention here ... in order to grow breasts (which I have... your mileage may differ)... have so lowered my testosterone and changed my hormonal balance that my libido is now non-existent, to say the least...tee hee...and yet... I still dress.
In fact, the desire to dress and mingle with others, and fully express myself is, if anything, stronger (and for my money, better!) than ever.
Sex is not a part of it at all. Dressing is strictly an expression of gender now.
Which leads me to wonder if the expression of gender when I had a libido produced endorphins that created the euphoria which then led to sexual urges. In other words, the sexual side was a by-product of just feeling good about myself, rather than the reason for dressing in itself.
Or not. Whatever...
Frankly, it matters not one bit to me any more. I am who I am and I like it.....and that's good enough for me.
Samantha... from somewhere in the middle, tee hee.

[Sam-antha]

Never mind the heels, its the outfit that goes with them. At 85 there are still my minis, (Thanks be I can still wear them) and the longer ones for the street and the micros for the open wild lands.
~Samm

[Barbara Jo]

I once was part of a very frank discussion with several women and myself. It was why I enjoyed wearing lingerie and women's clothes. They asked the same question that you did and had pre supposed ideas. I asked how many of then at one time wore sexy lingerie and clothes to be attractive. As we discussed it, all admitted that wearing sexy lingerie and clothes gave them a sense of excitement and a feeling of sexuality.

So, because as a CD I should not have the same excitement and sexual excitement? Lingerie is designed to provide sexual interest unlike men's clothes which is designed to be utilitarian.

Exactly what I have been told by various females.

Most females wear clothes that make them feel more feminine....even sexy, just as most males wear clothes that make them feel more masculine, etc.

Susan Brownmiller wrote in her book "Femininity" that part of being considered feminine is being able to function in spite of all the restrictions of female clothing and come "to adore them". (the restrictions)

Dolly Parton once said that if she was not born a woman she would be a drag queen as she loves wearing sexy clothes, wigs and make up, etc so much.

[ReineD]

As we discussed it, all admitted that wearing sexy lingerie and clothes gave them a sense of excitement and a feeling of sexuality.

So, because as a CD I should not have the same excitement and sexual excitement

Exactly what I have been told by various females.

It's not the same thing. Women do not get turned on by clothes in the same way as crossdressers. We just don't.

When we feel sexy it is because we are aroused to begin with. This would happen whether we are wearing lingerie or jeans. In other words, it is not the lingerie that makes us feel aroused, it is our need for sex. If we are already aroused, then wearing the lingerie enhances it. But if we are not aroused, the lingerie won't do a thing for us.

It's the opposite for crossdressers. Thinking about feminine clothing or wearing them is what is arousing (for those of you to whom this applies), which is then followed (for some of you) with sexual gratification.

I know that many CDers like to think they react the same way as women do to sexy clothing, but this is rationalization.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

I agree Reine - clothing might make us look sexy and maybe we're in a sexy mood anyway, but the clothing itself has little to do with it. The way a man looks at us in that clothing...yep, that'll do it. I suspect this is why we wear all these uncomfortable little items in the first place!