A woman (or a man for the FtM's)
So I was reading with interest another post by Carlene, http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...35-masculinity and people were discussing the concept of what masculinity and femininity mean, with a focus on the stereotypes of what are manly things versus feminine things. Needless to say these stereotypes don't make you a woman or a man, but then what does?
We all know the examples, an effeminate gay man is just as comfortable being a man as the manly man is, while the same applies to the girly girl and the manly lesbian woman. So why are we different?
It was interesting to me because I've been trying to work through a similar question as I come to know and understand these previously denied/buried feelings and thoughts.
So before I finally recognized what these feelings were and what they could mean, I like most people blindly accepted that I was a male simply because that's the physical body that I inhabited. These other thoughts and feelings that I had were simply part of the human experience and everyone has these thoughts, right? Well, no.
So now I'm here, and I'm trying to make sense of what makes a man a man and a woman a woman. Research has pretty clearly shown that the bits and pieces don't necessarily do it. How a person is raised doesn't do it. A person's interests or hobbies don't do it. So what does? What does being a man mean, and what does being a woman mean to you?
I'm having a tough time with that question. I've accepted that being a man or a woman won't change the core of who I am. It won't change my likes or dislikes, or make me a better or worse person. I'll still be me either way. Perhaps it is as simple as there isn't really a difference, only a certain congruence between our perception and subconscious self image? That's kind of where I am now.
So is that the answer? It isn't really explainable but rather a lack of congruence that leads us to where we are? What is your opinion, or what have you gained from being a woman (or a man) that you lacked before? I know the feeling is strong but I'm having a very difficult time putting it to words and that is troublesome to me.
Now I'll close with a few things:
First, I've been seeing a psychologist so I am getting professional help trying to sort this out. That's just been tough because of the relationship with my wife.
Second, this post rambles a bit and I apologize for that. I hope I got my main point/thought across.
And finally third, there is no right or wrong answer here. I'm not really looking for an answer to my specific feelings, only I can find that within myself. And I will, in time. I'm just looking to see what other people's feelings on the topic are.
Thanks!
Heather