Went to my first meeting or gathering with LBGT's

[Helena Gwyn]

Hi

Friday night I went to my first gathering with other LBGT's. I had found their site when I first started looking for answers three months ago and had been thinking about going there.
I was very nervous, not knowing I would fit in or belong (still struggling with the new me), but somehow I also felt I had to go. I went as boy, don't have a full outfit yet, and not ready to go out as girl.
It was a very pleasant evening, had a few conversations with several people, and it felt nice to finally be able to talk about these desires without the fear of being judged.
I was also spoken to as Helena and honestly this made me feel warm and 'giggly' somehow.
Seeing other CD'ers or those transitioned or in transition, somehow convinced me I really want this. It's hard to describe. Four months ago I would have never considered to go there, now, more and more I feel like I'm finally going home, whatever that means for me. It's frightening, hard to believe, difficult to accept and again somehow crystal clear and inevitable. I don't want to hide anymore.

Just wanted to share this and for now I consider going again next month.

[Tracii G]

The trans group I'm a part of was a huge help in discovering my femme side.
This site as well was a big part of that as well.
Glad you had a good time.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Helena Gwyn, I will bet that a lot of them are in the same boat as you.

[samantha rogers]

Helena, I know exactly how you feel. I am new to going out myself (absolutely loving it...btw) but girls in a couple of groups have been so supportive and helpful. When you are ready, the support of a group is so much help.
Hugs

[Amilia Who]

Hi Helen and thanks for the story. I've been Crossdressing for years and have always wanted to go out. Just have been afraid of going by myself plus I don't know if i could pass, but After hearing how the LBGT was accepting. It makes me hopeful that I wil find that accepting community, get the chance to go out and be myself.

[flatlander_48]

H.G.-

There are a couple of points that I think are important. You recognized that you needed to delve deeper into how things sit for you AND you put yourself into a situation (and overcoming fears along the way) where it's possible to find the answers that you are looking for. Both parts are significant and one doesn't work very well without the other.

[Helena Gwyn]

I'm glad I joined this site, it has been a big help in accepting so far. I know I'm not alone and last friday I saw this as well.

The frightening part right now is how it's changing me. My stomach hurts, like it's fighting, refusing to digest something that is getting more obvious and inevitable.
A few months ago, I thought my desire to CD was just about wearing clothes, about 'adding' something to me or my appearance. More and more I come te realise it's about expressing what's on the inside, the true me and it scares me.

It feels like hitting puberty again. Suddenly I want to grow longer hair and remove my beard. I liked my short hair and short beard the past few years, the image 'worked', but it doesn't feel right anymore.
I used to lift weights to train power, now I don't want to touch them anymore afraid I might get to muscular.

I know I'm going to get through this, I know I'll go again next month, it's just so sad that society makes it so difficult for us to accept who we are.

Thank you all, writing about it helps, reading about it even more.

[Lynn Marie]

It's pretty much the same as connecting with any group of like minded people. There are old hands with tons of experience, and neophytes just getting started. Social groups encourage growth and development of the skills necessary to be successful at whatever endeavor we're involved with. I currently belong to a kite club, a shooting league, a car club, a CDing social club, and a bunch of CDing irregulars who are not a club! I've been doing this kind of thing all my life. It's really nothing new.

[Rachel292]

Hi Helen and thanks for the story. I've been Crossdressing for years and have always wanted to go out. Just have been afraid of going by myself plus I don't know if i could pass, but After hearing how the LBGT was accepting. It makes me hopeful that I wil find that accepting community, get the chance to go out and be myself.

Helena
Like you I only recently went out as Rachel.
It's great, so far only positive experiences


Amilia
Don't worry about passing, especially if you are going to an TG group.
From my limited experience of two groups i've been to, there is a complete spectrum from 'Old hands' (who are TS) and you'd have trouble if you didn't know, those that don't pass, and to crossdressers and 'newbies' like myself.
The one and only thing I have received is a very supportive and warm welcome.
see my recent post http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...out&highlight=

[Beverley Sims]

Helena,
It is good to see how others handle the situation as you can get pointers from them.