Is it that "broad brushstroke" that you fear?

[MsVal]

My wife and children did not sign up for that duty but would be caught up in it. I love them more than I love you (the collective you), I will work toward their protection and comfort before I work toward yours, and if there is ever a conflict, theirs is the side on which I will stand.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Lorileah]

Does anyone else hate what Rupaul's Drag Race does to us?

Not just that show, I add virtually every movie made that people here worship (I exclude Crying Game and Soldier's Girl and any that portray "us" as humans and not clowns or perverts). I hate it when someone I meet says "Hey I have nothing against you , I watch RuPaul"

I will work toward their protection and comfort before I work toward yours, and if there is ever a conflict, theirs is the side on which I will stand.

So what if your child is gay...or TG? Just wondering when you would start working toward protection of others.

I have fear. I face fear almost everyday. I have placed myself in a category where I am considered less by certain elements. But I don't cower, I am just more vigilant. Fear can be healthy, it makes you aware. I try desperately to not put myself in a position when I don't have an "out". I have done that my whole life (Isha knows that when you make a plan in the military you always plan an out). The other night after a friend and I had dinner and were walking back to the car a man ( I assume homeless but that is profiling) started walking behind us saying "You are both ****s" Best thing for us to do was head to the car in a short line. I had my keys in hand. We didn't press the matter. 20 years ago, I would have confronted him but now I think "to what end...you beat a person who is down and out?" We were prepared had the situation escalated and this was in the upper class area of the city. I have known people who were attacked, I know people who were sexually attacked. I keep that in my mind when I am out. It could have happened no matter how I present, it is just more likely now.

[kimdl93]

If it's fear of violence that this thread is about, I have to say it is a decidedly overblown fear. I would say, look at the stats . The victims of violence in our society are overwhelmingly poor. The incidences of assault on TG people almost without exception occur in poor neighborhoods and often late at night. I know some of us live in such environs, but most of us do not. I would further venture that it's fear of social reproach and economic loss, more so than physical violence which keeps most of us from being more open and active.

[mechamoose]

People ARE much more accepting now than they were in the 80's or 90's, which is when my and my friend's experiences occurred.

It depends on where you live. I grew up on the border of a city's good neighborhood and bad. One street south were idyllic homes, gardens, a cathedral.. one street north were all 3 story buildings with poor family apartments. By the time I was 18 and moved out, we had one building fire on the north side every couple of weeks. Walking into downtown from where I lived went through that neighborhood, and ones that were worse. CDing in that environment? You wouldn't last a week.

My friend was a gay man who did drag. He was a pretty boy, and really dressed up nicely. He got beaten up in *Salem* (MA) of all places... one of the funkiest, accepting communities I have lived in ever.. almost as liberal as Cambridge (MA). While more accepting for Pagans, pagan folk tend to accept oddities as 'features' rather than flaws. Cambridge was better on the LGBT side...

I remember having a couple that my mate and I had known online for years down to visit from Canada. I went down to Cambridge with the male (Ian, cute man. I miss you) and we walked around town holding hands. He was super nervous. "You can do this here? I couldn't do this at home!"

It is all relative. I have family who live in Texas and Tennessee. I will (grudgingly) visit my family in TX, but there is no way in hell I will go to TN. I wouldn't come back.

<3

- MM

[Wildaboutheels]

Nope, not at all. Because I happen to agree with a couple of expressions.

Ignorance is bliss.

Knowledge is power.

I also am a firm believer that "Actions speak louder than words".

Especially when "words" are simply people whining about unfair things are.

This country did not become a "free" one because of people whining.
.
The only way to change people's minds is to lead by example.

A NIMBY attitude helps no one.

[sandra-leigh]

Do not forget the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which records outright murders. Many of them are "second world" or "third world" (Brazil can be terribly deadly), but a number of them are not.

I could cite a murder that occurred about 2 1/2 years ago in the city I live in. Arson. The case is still going through the judicial system so I cannot indicate what I have been told about what happened.

Or I could relay to you what one of the local woman said in a presentation to CPATH, Canadian Professional Association for Transgender Health, for which I was in the audience in September 2012. The same day a trans relative of the panelist died of wound received from a beating a few months before; if I recall the panelist indicated that that was the fifth of her trans friends or relatives that had been murdered.

[mechamoose]

WildAboutHeels, This isn't just about Chutzpah. (as much as I admire that)

Out and Proud is awesome, but it costs something.

I'm prepared to pay the social costs of being 'different'. Not all of us are there. You can't give of yourself unless you have enough to support yourself.

I get p**sed *ff too. I'm tired of being a punchline. But I also see that we have sisters & brothers who are not as secure or in a confident place like we are. We cut the weeds and make a path for them. We take the shots so they don't have to.

<3

- MM

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rogina, When you get to a certain age you don't let the little things worry you.

[Momarie]

"The victims of violence in our society are overwhelmingly poor".


No they aren't...

The victims of violence in our society are overwhelmingly Women, at the hands of Men.

[giuseppina]

Sorry, Momarie, but I don't agree. Men may have a near monopoly on physical violence, but psychological violence is an even split based on the statistics I've seen. It's rarely prosecuted because the injuries are not visible or easily measureable.

[PaulaQ]

It isn't just violence that's an issue - getting painted by a "broad brushstroke" as TG means that you are getting subjected to a bunch of random contradictory, untrue, and highly negative stereotypes. At best, this really sucks - at worst it'll cost you your marriage, friends, and livelihood. You can face real discrimination, something relatively unknown to many on this forum in their male lives. Being treated as an "other" can be incredibly tough.

[CarlaWestin]

I hate it when someone I meet says "Hey I have nothing against you , I watch RuPaul"

Or, how about, "I guess if you want to prance around in a dress, it's your business."
I don't effing prance!

[DebbieL]

Slaves were taught to fear the whip so much that simply cracking it over their heads would make them cringe in terror. This was because every time a slave was defiant, the defiant slave, whose slight may have been as simple as looking a "cracker" in the eye, would be chained to a post and whipped with a bull-whip. The person using the whip didn't want to seriously damage the slave, but he wanted to create a lot of pain along with that cracking noise. They would make sure that the actual tail of the whip would slap against the wood. The screams of the victim along with the crack were so closely associated that the sound alone would create fear as real as if they were the ones being whipped. Usually as teens, they would try to be defiant, especially the boys, but after one or two rounds on the post, they never wanted to experience it again.

For me, the "Whipping post" started when I was 6 years old. Being called a "Sissy" didn't mean that much, especially since our teacher had explained that "Sissy" was slang for "Sister" like "Buddy" was slang for "Brother". But when the name was followed by being pelted with rocks, or being kicked by a dozen boys like a soccer ball, or being hit with sticks about the size of baseball bats, the fear became real, so real that because of the beatings over the next 6 years, I was hospitalized over 60 times, often with severe asthma attacks.

Even when the beatings stopped, the names, and there were many, had been so associated with terror and pain, that even as an adult, hearing someone shout "faggot" or "queer", would make me wince and start looking for the exits and the fire alarms (best way to stop an assault in life-or-death situations).

Some of the more subtle stunts, like singing "Lola" or "Dude Looks Like a Lady" weren't as terrifying, and I would sometimes start singing along, smile at them, and congratulate them for their observational skills, and ask if they had any questions. There were often a LOT of questions, and they would actually be impressed with my honesty and authenticity.

These days, I almost never get confronted in any form. Part of this is because people don't see me as anything other than a woman now. Even the TSA agents have a hard time believing that I was once a guy.