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Thread: "Must be gay!" What part bothers you?

  1. #26
    New Member RayanneA's Avatar
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    Labels Labels Labels. Do they even matter any more? Seems like now it's more acceptable to be openly gay than not. But crossdressing is still considered "sick". And it's OK to be gay but not OK for a (mostly) heterosexual male to occasionally have sex with another man and enjoy it? Even in this group I feel a little outside the norm because even though I'm primarily attracted to women, I occasionally enjoy sex with another man--and when I do I play the female role. Parts is parts. And I like to play with both kinds!

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member dana digs sweaters's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti View Post
    i cant be bothered with other peoples ignorance..........
    This! Exactly!

  3. #28
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    It bothers me but it doesn't seem to bother my boy friend ..NO JUST KIDDING ..I am not gay at all or even Bi but it does bother me that people do tie that to CDIng not that there is anything wrong with being gay ..Sexual preference has nothing to do with cross dressing..

    But a friend of mine did say that being bi doubled his chances on getting a date?
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  4. #29
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    The only time this was an issue for me was when I came out to my wife years ago -- assuring her that no, I am not gay. Re the label thing: I do think there is an issue here: too many people confuse gender identity questions with sexual preference, and yes I think there is a tendency to equate TG with being gay.

    Anyway ... Paula, I love your response ()
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  5. #30
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I don't care if people think I'm gay. I know who I am. What difference does make what others think.

  6. #31
    All girl, all the time! ❤ Felicia Dee's Avatar
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    On the whole, I'm quite secure in my sexuality. Labels don't bother me. What gets sticky, is if the person doing the "labeling" is trying to pick a fight. Such an interaction can quickly turn violent. As I usually hang out in more friendly environments, I find that I avoid this issue... none the less, I have found that projecting confidence does well to derail the occasional jerkface.
    "I'm a work in progress..."

  7. #32
    Member devida's Avatar
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    I assume most people either think or wonder if I'm gay, except, of course, for gay men. When I first met my SO she assumed I was gay and I assumed she was a lesbian. I was more justified in this than she was because she was wearing a T Shirt from The Weekly News, a gay publication, through she did not know it. She was somewhat justified because most of the people around me when she met me were gay men. All through my youth I was propositioned by heterosexual men who assumed I was gay and, I guess, weren't that heterosexual but pretended they were. Unfortunately heterosexual women also assumed I was gay or I would have probably been very much more sexually active. Apart from that deficit I would rather be thought of as being gay. I tend to like gay or bi men more than I like heterosexual men. I don't dislike heterosexual men, but for someone like me they sure seem to have a lot more baggage than my gay friends. I mean, really, who are the real drama queens? I'm telling you, honey, it ain't the gay men in my life.

  8. #33
    Member Robyn2006's Avatar
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    Feeling myself a woman, I don't consider myself gay. I love men, but only as a woman… So I'm straight, right?

    What bothers me about the gay label is just the lines drawn. Someone who is born a man who dresses as a woman must be gay? Guess again. This girl is completely straight.
    When lost, alone, or blue I know I can always get through the day, for I've always another shade of lipstick to make things right!

  9. #34
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katey888 View Post
    .

    The other part that surprises me, is that you - Rogina - say that you play up to people who want to label, by reinforcing the incorrect belief that CD/TS folk are queer or gay... Tell me I'm misinterpreting that, please...? I'm sure you follow that up with a fuller explanation of how we're different to the LGB folks...?

    Katey x
    It isn't about ME! It is about their expectations of labeling the entire alphabet community in one broad swipe as QUEER! So,referring to the group as such defuses their chance to label..And it seems to work in my experiences.
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  10. #35
    Member Marissa V's Avatar
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    Few weeks back i was talking to a friend and i told him i met someone. And was explaining that that person was trans like me. First thing he said was 'oh so you DO have a gay side?'. Well...no...since i dont concider myself a man... you get the picture. So I had to explain to him the whole concept of self-identification with my gender and gender role. Eventually he understood so he said. Wich begged for a test... So i asked im "Let's assume me and her work out...what does this make me? Lesbian? And the 8 hours she goes to work, wich she does as man still, those 8 hours im straight? Until she gets home and i go lesbian again? And when we go to sleep and we take make up ect off...then we're gay IF we touch each other? or does it count when we dont touch? Tell me..."

    reply : ok...i asked a dumb question

    Labeling is subjective, depending on perspective. From my friend's perspective i might be gay, from mine im not. And i'm pretty sure there are people out there that have yet a different opinion. Labeling is plain stupid to say the least. And yet, for a lot of people those labels are truths wich they use to identify themselves, and seperate themselves from others and most of all...judge others. And tbh...i dont care what ppl label me. Life gets a lot easier once you stop giving a sh*t.
    You can't fly with the eagles if you sleep with the pigeons.

  11. #36
    Senior Member samantha rogers's Avatar
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    Honestly, I don't care what other people who are not friends think, nor do I care how they label me. Labels and boxes are, for my money, just a way for lazy people to simplify their own world view, and and reinforce their own ignorance. I know who I am, and so do my real friends. The rest don't matter too much, do they?

  12. #37
    Part-time girl... Tracy Hazel Lee's Avatar
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    Nope

    I don't blame anyone for feeling that way. Especially for people who have no contact, or have no friends with anyone that would fit under the TG umbrella. (Yes, more labels..sorry) They truly do not know anything beyond what society has programmed them to believe. They are honestly, and unintentionally, ignorant.

    Fortunately for myself, I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to let the mis-informed opinions of others (especially from people I don't even know) keep me from doing something that I enjoy. They don't get it? Oh well... I do. That's all that's important to me.
    Tracy Hazel Lee

    @URNA @Flickr


  13. #38
    Member Dana3's Avatar
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    What others think of or their opinions of me?

    Is absolutely none of my business!

    People are going to talk about you regardless! Usually in the negative sense! Might as well give em' something good to talk about.

    Guy told me he doesn't worry about nothing! Because he's doesn't have anything to worry about? He's got his wife that tends to his money, and he's got his neighbors tending his business!
    Last edited by Dana3; 04-20-2014 at 01:30 PM.

  14. #39
    Shoe shopping shrew natcrys's Avatar
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    Not bothered at all!

    If someone asks me if I'm gay.. I usually reply that I wasn't that lucky because being attracted to men would have made my life so much easier!
    │ Fashion and science geek!

    │ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nat.crys.5

    │ My blog: http://natcrys.blogspot.com/

  15. #40
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    As a gay cd, I can tell you that life is not easier!

    Isn't it interesting that we think the grass is greener on the other side?

    I'm happy in my life, but I can't say being gay and a cd is an easy life. I deal with gay men who really have no interest in my femininity.
    Some boys just can't help acting like girls...

    My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayatoronto/

  16. #41
    Aspiring Member Genny B's Avatar
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    Many of us came from military backgrounds where a mentality was re-affirmed in us after what our fathers had built into us. When I retired I went into the medical community where I found the mind set to be just the opposite. It was really weird to me at first. I learned as I spend more time in the field that some of my best friends where Gay and I would of never guessed. So I guess my mind has run the gauntlet, but if someone made that comment to me today I think I would just reply that I'm not sure and ask if they are interested in helping me find out, just to mess with their minds!
    Genny B
    Dani (Genny before Transition)
    All Girl!

  17. #42
    Member JennyLynn's Avatar
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    Sticks and stones!

  18. #43
    Aspiring Member Dana does shopping's Avatar
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    Always remember 'labels' need to be affixed. Those doing the labeling are very often the third party, hence, inconsequential to how you should happen to be 'feeling' that day.

  19. #44
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    Ignorance bothers me the most. A lot of people say a lot of things , not because they know anything about the subject, but because they were told at some point what was right and what was wrong and they believed it without forming an educated opinion of their own.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  20. #45
    Aspiring Member Dana does shopping's Avatar
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    That has to be a tough one for someone who presents so convincingly as you! Same hang-up though , you need to seek a person who can live outside of his 'label"

  21. #46

  22. #47
    Member JenniferYager's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isha View Post
    Ah . . . labels again.

    I personally don't care what people think of me. If they know I am TG and ask if I am gay as well, I will tell them the truth . . . "no" and that is where it normally ends. If they don't want to ask and run around thinking I am gay then that is their business.

    Hugs

    Isha
    There we go not recognizing people as individuals again...and look where it gets us...

  23. #48
    Member Taylor Ray's Avatar
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    There are still groups of people who question the legitimacy of bisexuality. (!!!)

    It really bugs me when my gay friends insist that I am gay, and that my CDing and intimacy with women is some sort of denial.

    I'm like, "Are you frickin' kidding!!!!"

  24. #49
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JennyLynn View Post
    Sticks and stones!
    If you are implying, "And names will never hurt me", then that is not correct.

    Impact of childhood bullying still evident after 40 years

    The negative social, physical and mental health effects of childhood bullying are still evident nearly 40 years later, according to new research by King's College London. The study is the first to look at the effects of bullying beyond early adulthood, and is published in the American Journal of Psychiatry. [...]

    Individuals who were bullied in childhood were more likely to have poorer physical and psychological health and cognitive functioning at age 50. Individuals who were frequently bullied in childhood were at an increased risk of depression, anxiety disorders, and suicidal thoughts.

    Individuals who were bullied in childhood were also more likely to have lower educational levels, with men who were bullied more likely to be unemployed and earn less. Social relationships and well-being were also affected. Individuals who had been bullied were less likely to be in a relationship, to have good social support, and were more likely to report lower quality of life and life satisfaction.

    Professor Louise Arseneault, senior author, also from the Institute of Psychiatry at King's adds: "We need to move away from any perception that bullying is just an inevitable part of growing-up. Teachers, parents and policy-makers should be aware that what happens in the school playground can have long-term repercussions for children. Programmes to stop bullying are extremely important, but we also need to focus our efforts on early intervention to prevent potential problems persisting into adolescence and adulthood."

    Bullying is characterized by repeated hurtful actions by children of a similar age, where the victim finds it difficult to defend themselves. The harmful effect of bullying remained even when other factors including childhood IQ, emotional and behavioural problems, parents' socioeconomic status and low parental involvement, were taken into account. [...]
    Note that "hurtful" does not necessarily mean physical violence. Name calling, ostracization, and emotional abuse are all forms of "hurtful actions".

    In the late 1960's I was being called names, typically "four-eyes" or "faggot", in elementary school. You better believe it affected my health.

  25. #50
    Junior Member sara lahna's Avatar
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    the sticks and stones saying is a way to deal with name calling so it doesn't effect you. name calling is only hurtful if you take it to heart and not just brush it off.

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