Hey Carolynn
It is so confusing questioning all of this. All though I feel like since I got to the point of questioning it there really must be a part of me that needs to transition. Bad tranny does make some excellent point. I am probably going to go to a therapist soon hopefully. I think making a pro and con list sounds great. I started trying to make one but they almost seem to be balancing out. I will try to be as honest as I can with myself.
In questioning a established norm we are seeking our own truth. We should be careful is separate our wants and needs. at present me want by far out weighs my need unlike some of the girls here. I can only imagine what they have being thou.
At the present time I feel like I want to transition more than I need to. Lately I can't stop picturing myself in the situation of every girl I see. I feel like I would be so much more comfortable and happy being in there situation than my own. I know everyone has there own problems and being a woman is hard but I can't shake the idea that is what I want.
The good thing I guess is I have a while to think about this....I mean I would start transitioning to early next year at the earliest because of some plans I have at the moment. I think why my desire to transition is so high right now is because if I transition I want to do it when I am still somewhat young and don't have connections with a wife and kids. Considering im pretty convinced at somepoint these feelings will become overwhelming and I will HAVE to transition.
What you will find is how ordinary life as a woman is. There is no special feeling attached to everyday life. You might feel more comfortable in yourself. Perhaps even a sense of peace if you have had GD for much of your life. But life will go on as before. It may be more difficult depending how well you pass. You may find it hard to find a partner. The reality of living 24/7 is hugely different then dressing up occasionally. Do not transition unless you have to.
It sounds like you are in a exploitory mode witch is good. but to be the kid in the candy store that goes home to diner with a tummy ache is not good either. just being adults we should subordinate our wants to our needs in order to achive our best out come
Julia,
Please please please find a qualified therapist in GID and talk to them. DO NOT RELY on this forum to determine if or when you begin to transition. This is a body and life changing procedure. In a previous post the comment was made " Do not transition unless you have to." If you are a transsexual you HAVE to for your own physical and psychological health. Find a therapist and get some counselling. Praying for your success.
LDH!
Good point! I find the majority of long time posters in this section to be honest. They share their experiences and what worked for them. New posters here will almost always get the "don't transition unless you have to" or "seek out a gender therapist for help". I never even posted in this section until I had my answers and was on HRT. I knew very little about being TS and I'm still learning what's going on with me.Originally Posted by Badtranny
It might look sometimes like we're being cruel but quite often new posters are just interesting in having their own boobs to look better in dresses without knowing the full consequences of HRT. Then there's the fantasy stuff and even people that hated their man life and could be using the TS label to escape reality. Some of the stuff that gets posted makes you go HUH? I'm sure I posted some HUH stuff too in the beginning.
It's all about getting the right answers and a gender therapist and good support groups are the best place to start. You will get good advice here but it's no substitute for working and talking in person with people. I can say that most members I've contacted here by PM have been pleasant, helpful and caring.
Last edited by Marleena; 04-24-2014 at 09:27 AM.
I understand what everyone is saying and do plan on trying to see a gender therapist soon. Also I do understand that being a woman is nothing special. I can't be sure but I do feel like being a women is a need not a want for me. While I don't know how it feels to be a woman I am starting to understand how I feel. I believe that I will feel better if I am living and being treated as a woman. Hopefully I can figure out if I need to transition but I know there is a deep down part of me that wants to be a woman. That will feel more complete and confident in myself as a woman.
Dear Julia
I think if you are happy to be who you are as a male gender yet would love to feel and enjoy being a lady gender then why not gain both worlds ....try to live normal and switch when the time is right to be a woman ...Yet to me I try to change as soon as possible when the chance generate itself ,,,I'm thinking as a woman most of the time ( wearing lingerie , women dresses , put on nail polish , make up ...),,,but once I'm alone I quickly transform to my natural loving nature of me .....a woman ...so I can enjoy both worlds
HI Rian
I understand what you are saying but just crossdressing hasn't been satisfying to me. I don't just want to dress as a woman. I want to BE A WOMAN.
Ever since i was a child i felt that i was born with the wrong sex. The desire to be female is very strong even though i tried for many years to be a man but the desire is always there. Dressing up in women's clothing has always made me happy but something is still missing. I would like to have breasts, vagina and female curves and be a woman 24/7. I know it will be a long journey and an expensive one but that hope and desire keeps me going.
That's a lot like my story, too. ; )
i feel as i am in a similar boat, being 28 recently married with a recent daughter and after years of crossdressing i seem to see it in a whole new light. Now wanting to live as a women and live out the dream, i am not sure if part of me feels i have done my part and giving her the child she has always wanted and now i am being selfish? she is very understanding about a lot and known her for year and she has found selfies of me dressed but does not seem to bring it up. being from a small town and a long travel to talk to a therapist do i risk it and try to have the convo with her or try to find out what a therapist says first?
No one is being selfish by transitioning or questioning their gender. It's part of who you are. I once saw a documentary about transgender children, and the mother of her transgender daughter said that she'd rather have a living transgender daughter than a dead son. All of us have different paths. Many of us have childhood dysphoria feelings. Some of us don't. Some of us figure out we had childhood dysphoria later on in life by looking back and saying, "ah, that was dysphoria" even though we didn't understand it at the time.
I would say to anyone who is questioning your gender, young, and not married. Don't get married. Figure out yourself and your path to being yourself before you hook up with a partner. I'd rather be single or find a partner that accepts me as I am later on in life than get married and repress my true self and face nasty consequences later on in life.
There is hope
I've finally mastered the art of making salads. My favorite is a delicious Mediterranean salad.
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