Well, you can see my personal preference - however I can understand that some folks have genuine concerns about their privacy
Well, you can see my personal preference - however I can understand that some folks have genuine concerns about their privacy
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
I will not be adding a photo. I am performing a public service by not traumatizing you all, not a pretty sight.
I like both real pic and 'not so real' avatars. i am going with the 'not so real', since my SO is in love with my full grey beard, that I have had for about 40 years now. It's not going away, and certainly inhibits presenting as female.
trish
Its your own choice if you want to have a avatar or profile pic of yourself, but me, personally, I don't really take people all too seriously that don't have pics or hide them. (I know its wrong, but thats just how I feel) . Why even chat online if you are afraid of getting outed, there are many other ways of getting caught, but everyone has there own opinion.
Same with other social media sites, no pics = no acceptance.
And I like seeing the person I am taking/communicating to/with.
no fear of being outed...but I do fear being judged a not very attractive, given the facial hair.
One day you'll get a real picture, but so far you've not donated enough money
Bank details below ..
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.” - Rumi.
additionally, how good would you look if I photoshopped a full beard on your avatar and posted it?
This is my first post in about three years... I'll cover that later elsewhere. Anyway, during my first stint here from 2009-2011 I was firmly in the no pics/anonymous camp but today I am a very different person. A lot can happen in three years (I really can't believe it's been that long since I last posted!) and now I'm leaning towards showing myself. You see, tonight I am wearing all new clothes for the first time in forever save for that trusty pair of heels I bought shortly after joining this site following the madness that ensued from my last ever purge. I've gone further than I ever have with getting all dolled up tonight and I just couldn't help but take some pics albeit with a lousy camera. I'm sure it's that old pink fog making me think I look a lot better than I actually do but I have never been so happy with my CD appearance. This really is the best I've yet managed. The only thing I'm missing is the fake nails I bought for today but never got around to, so maybe I'll take even better pics tomorrow. Maybe I will take lots of pics!
Lately I've been trying really hard to accept myself with immense help from the love of my life and I'm at a point where I think I desperately want to be out. I'm sick of being ashamed and worrying what people think. I'm 27 now which means I've been living in fear and self-loathing for close to 15 straight years and I just want to be done with it. Yet I'm still not quite courageous enough to say to hell with my public image, not quite yet. I'm starting down that path gradually by being a lot more careless. When people talk about us, I speak up. My feminine wardrobe is sitting in my closet instead of hidden away. I went on my biggest shopping spree ever and the first in quite some time this weekend with my SO. I just got my name here changed to something very close to my real name and I intend to become a prolific poster. The next logical step is to throw some real pics out in the ether and if people find them, so be it! I am who I am and I look damn good in this dress!
As far as privacy goes in this age of big brother, I get ads for high heels and even hormone therapy on my facebook page despite using mostly private browsing for anything CD related and never once mentioning it there. Google knows all. I hate that as much as anyone but I think the best way to fight back is to take back control by letting the information out on my own terms.
Some of the girls here look gorgeous, others less so but I was looking at the male mode vs girl mode pics thread today and it really struck me that someone commented that regardless all the girls look so much happier than the guys. People who know my public persona say I never smile. Well, tonight I looked in the mirror and smiled.
Hi.
Well youll know what ill say , after you'v been seen by over 3 million people nation wide, and been interviewed for papers as well plus over 287 internet sites, , i think it would be a laugh not to have a photo of my self on the many forums im on apart from very few i cant loadup a photo.
And being so well known hey im not a pretty looking woman so those who think they are not as well , just think i'v done it and i never received a bad press,
...noeleena...
My public avatar here and my presence on websites like Facebook are all calculated risks. I'd rather have people finding out and giving me a chance to explain what cross-dressing means to me than having to live like a hermit for the rest of my life.
My thoughts exactly. It's obviously too easy to sign up and make up stuff as you go along. I don't know what the appeal is, but it happens and while I've only been here for a few months, I already 'witnessed' a few of these cases. Maybe I'm shallow, but posting at least one real picture adds a little credibility to one's comments in my opinion. It obviously doesn't hurt me personally if people make stuff up, but then again, I'm not here to read TV fiction.Originally Posted by Erica Marie
In general, I like pics of the actual people more than just pics of heels, legs and cartoons. There are crossdressing Flickr-streams filled with photos of just about anything except the person in question.
Now, everyone has their own set of circumstances... some really can't afford to be outed.. some don't want to give Google, the NSA or Zuckerberg all the details. But having a "real pic avatar" shows me that someone is ready to show their face. Don't get me wrong.. in a thread, I will read all posts and if I see one that is well-written and I think that it has merit, then I will treat it as such.
The internet is full of fakers and/or people that just want to live out a fantasy, so for me personally, I need actual faces for me to really connect with people. I will always reply to thoughtful messages.. but my time is limited, so for an actual friendship to happen I need to be able have the idea that there is something substantive behind a "name on the Internet".
Pictures go a long way in showing that.. so perhaps I'm shallow in that respect.
│ Fashion and science geek!│
│ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nat.crys.5 │
│ My blog: http://natcrys.blogspot.com/ │
My avatar is of indeed, myself. I don't get many opportunities to have a portrait pic done. Am I afraid of being outed? Of course I am, who wouldn't. But the chances of anybody knowing what I do and where to find me? Well, my first question to my accuser would be "what are you doing hanging around crossdressing websites, hmmm?"
-Audrey
I agree that having an actual picture in one's avatar is preferable. It helps to be very attractive, like Zylia and Natassia. Yet, some of the finest and most deep thinking posts have been from CDers without an actual face picture.
If I would dress my age, as one is 'supposed' to, you'd see an 80 year old frumpy lady with a big turkey wobble and I just am not quite ready for that. I have promised myself to eventually have a professional make-over done and if it would come out halfway decent I'd post a real picture.
In the meantime, I have live turkeys follow me everywhere, pointing at my turkey wobble and clamoring to know where I got that fabulous "makeover".
Ineke
It's well established FACT.
Put up a "better"profile pic at any Dating site and your chances will go up exponentially and your "reception" in the Forums WILL change dramatically. Your most bitter "enemies" may change their entire demeanor just because you throw up a pic that they like. Same thing happens here with Avatars. Friend requests will go up with a "good avatar".
But I think it is rather silly to judge people by their Avatars [or any pics at a Dating site] especially given threads like this http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...o-thread/page2 and many more similar ones. Funny how quickly some members can forget something they might have just responded to less than a week ago? I'm far more interested in what folks have to say.
I had up a full length, "out in the RW dressed" pic the entire first YEAR I was here [that was impossible to miss] simply as a COURTESY to the Forum Dinos. I replaced it with one that EVERYone liked that lasted for 3 months before vanishing. It was a mystery to the "authorities" and no one would take credit or blame. I put it back up a few months later but it "only lasted" a couple of weeks or so the second time... and vanished at exactly the same instant as... I'm sure it was sheer coincidence.
It's a no brainer really. If you want or need a better "reception" here at this Forum, it makes perfect sense to throw up the "best" avatar one can "create".
There will always be "silly people" at any Forum with tunnel vision who will resolutely claim that ANYone on a Dating site [or here] who CHOOSES to not post pics HAS to be a scumbag/criminal/pervert/is hiding SOMEthing of some sort or just too ugly to post pics. They cannot possibly fathom that not everyone wants or needs to post pics. These type statements just prove beyond any shadow of a doubt, they have little or NO actual experience of meeting others. These same whiners on Dating sites will often whine that many if not most of the women/men that they have met were using very old pics or they show up 6" shorter or 100 pounds heavier than their pics. Or completely bald. I met a number of women who had no pics posted who would be at least 7 or 8s in anyone's book. And never had one bad meet and was never stood up.
If some people can't fathom ANY reason at all why some folks CHOOSE to not have pics up at any "social site"? I think people who think like that tend to see the entire world in black OR white. That's gotta be one tough row to hoe.
Last edited by Wildaboutheels; 04-21-2014 at 05:06 PM. Reason: row
I know it's taking a risk but I prefer to show the person (OK disguised real person) making the comments and posting threads and I prefer to reply to a real face but I may disappear into anonymity if I'm sussed ! I guess I was lucky being able to take a a decent avatar as a pro photographer.
I'll let Zylia speak for herself. First of all, thanks! Secondly, I hope posting a real pic avatar and deep thinking posts are not mutually exclusive.
Now why do I suddenly feel like Thanksgiving is around the corner?If I would dress my age, as one is 'supposed' to, you'd see an 80 year old frumpy lady with a big turkey wobble and I just am not quite ready for that. I have promised myself to eventually have a professional make-over done and if it would come out halfway decent I'd post a real picture.
In the meantime, I have live turkeys follow me everywhere, pointing at my turkey wobble and clamoring to know where I got that fabulous "makeover".
Ineke
│ Fashion and science geek!
│ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nat.crys.5 │
│ My blog: http://natcrys.blogspot.com/ │
As for preference, of course real faces, but not all of us can do that. My avatar and my profile picture are me, though. What I don't like is photographs of other people, actresses, for example, presented as if they were the person writing the post, but fortunately that seems to be infrequent.
Jenny - I don't think you're shallow... it's how you feel about it and I can understand that because it is easier to kinda hear someone talking if you know a little of what they look like... (For the record, I sound totally like Kristin Scott-Thomas when speaking, so if you can all think of her when looking at my avatar and reading my posts, that would be great..)
I can fully understand the privacy thing with folk - if anyone finds me AND recognises me on here, jolly good luck to them, I say... but I would not be so blasé if still working (and I've said that before...) - then you would probably have a cartoon avatar of.. let's go Penelope Pitstop...
There are some very cool and artsy avatars around - but if anyone goes to the trouble to post anything here, I think it deserves a speed read at least... I must read 20x as much as I post... and what folk say has little or no correlation to what they put up as an avatar pic...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
Not Shallow at all real pics means real person behind it, I feel like it is easier to talk to someone even if it is posting or messaging,
I too prefer real pics.
But! What you gonna do?
At least the GG's here can see how some of us present as female.
Being able to be recognized while dolled up? Then I will demand a raise at work for my female clothes
Well maybe nobody will recognize me from my avatar. And if they do, what are the going to say about it? If crossdressing really bothers them are they going to blurt out to the world that they found your avatar on a crossdressing site? What were they doing here in the first place?
I prefer seeing a picture too. I'm not sure why, I guess it feels like we are getting to know each other better. But for the others who don't want to post a pic, that's OK too.
Stephanie
Jenny,
You are doing the nicest thing by giving encouragement to those that post their own image as an avatar.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I have many pics of my self and the sad thing is people use my pics to pretend they are me... The funny thing is when I confront them they inist they are me till I put on my cam and as hi.... Lol.. Very rude and immature... Oh it's illegal to impersonate someone else. So really wtf? The more realize the tg community is selfish and very in considerate toreador eachother... I mean how are going to be taken seriously if cant respect eachother. So do not agree with using other gurls pics it is very counter productive to community.
I don't mind either way. I'd prefer a picture of some sort, whether photo, cartoon or other as it makes it easier to identify other posters.
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