Thank you all for the wonderful comments. This board is so incredibly supportive. Those who are young may take it for granted, having never known what things were like before, but I treasure this place.
I should clarify, though, as I fear some may have misinterpreted my intent.
What I was trying so poorly to express, was a particular emotion or rather, aseries of emotions I self indulgently allowed myself to experience yesterday and the thoughts that went with those feelings. Rationally, I am fine. Honest. Lol
I have learned and continue to try and accept that emotions are powerful and need to be felt, experienced fully and acknowledged before allowing reason to make our decisions. Otherwise...well, that way madness lies, as Shakespeare once observed.
I am well aware that I have been blessed in oh so many ways. My life has had many wonderful experiences in many places and I have been able to do and see things many will never be able to duplicate. I have a wonderful wife and great kids.It is all good.
Rather, what I was trying to express, was a moment of wistful selfishness...a momentary lapse into wondering what might have been...not unlike those moments we all have when we wonder what might have been if we had, say...taken that different job twenty years ago, or actually gone back and apologised to that dear friend we lost, or proposed to that girl...only, in this case, with something that cuts so much closer to the heart. Its fine now. Really.
Its all good.
Now lets get back to talking about the fun stuff..tee hee
Who wants to go shopping?