Do any of you envisage an end date?

[Claire_tv_uk]

Ok so i may be being a bit naive, but hear me out,

I accept a lot of you have taken up dressing late in life, or have been dressing all your life and continue into your later years and for some of you its more a way of life than anything else.

But for those of you who are like me and dress for entertainment and the frill of it, do you imagine a day when you'll just stop, when your kids have grown old enough to understand, when you move in with a woman etc?

For me, the excitement/turn on of dressing has been of wearing modern fashionable womens clothes and looking at myself and seeing a (vaguely) attractive young woman when dressed.

I have little to no interest in the clothes older women wear and although i guess the flame inside me will never die entirely, i struggle to see myself (probably struggling) putting on the clothes i love to wear now when i'm in my 50s and older, the fantasy will become nicer than the reality of the wrinkly old man looking back at me.

I go for long periods of time without dressing as it is now, so i'd imagine i'll slowly just cut back and eventually stop at some point.

Did any of the older girls on here have the same idea as me and found they could not or did not want to stop and do the younger girls see themselves stopping at some point or are you always going to dress?

[PaulaQ]

Hi Claire - you'll always dress. Aging isn't so bad as you think, and I'm an "ancient" 51 years old!

[Bria]

Claire, I'll respond as one of the older girls here, I'm 73. I have five kids, all girls beteen the age of 42 and 50. when I look at my kids I think that they still look pretty hot (if the weren't my kids) and the 20 somthing GGs just are too young to be interesting, hot yes, but interesting, no.

I think that it comes down to the fact that as we (males) age the GGs that are about our own age still look really good. When we were in our teens and twenties a GG in here forties was OLD!! Now a woman in here forties can be very attractive, soooo, I am happy to dress in an age approprate style. OK, so maybe I'd like to look like a woman in her late fifties rather than 70s.

I don't know how old you are Claire, but I will bet that over the years your tastes will slowly change. Reality is a hard master even in boy mode, its just not possible to look 20 anymore. Getting older anin't for sissies, but it beats the alternative!!

Hugs Bria

[Teresa]

Clair,
Getting older doesn't mean giving up, just look after yourself keep fit, watch your weight ! being wrinkly isn't exclusive to men !
There are great fashion choices even as you get older why turn your back on them, Cding can still be fun and enjoyable.
I didn't learn to ski till I was 55 and I'm not giving up yet, can't wait to get back on the slopes, it knocks years off you !
We have some incredible members in their seventies and older and most of them know what they'll be wearing when they finally put the lid on their box !

And Paula is still a slip of a thing at 51 !

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Claire, I've already picked out and told my wife what dress that I want to be laid out in when the time comes.

[Kate Simmons]

I see it as a waste of time and energy being concerned about what I will or won't do in the future. I enjoy the present and will let tomorrow take care of itself.

[Talisker]

For me, the excitement/turn on of dressing has been of wearing modern fashionable womens clothes and looking at myself and seeing a (vaguely) attractive young woman when dressed.
I have little to no interest in the clothes older women wear. Dont want old wrinkly man staring back at me,
I go for long periods of time without dressing as it is now, so i'd imagine i'll slowly just cut back and eventually stop at some point.

The above is just the same for me. Its been just over a year now since I bought my first wig and heels. I have been wearing dresses since young but not gone all they way - wig, heels etc until recently. Part of that was the curiosity to see what I would look like before getting too old. Now I do wish I had tried it earlier because as a teenager I remember I looked very hot in a LBD. Unfortunately digital cameras were not around then.
In the future I can imagine that the time will come when just wont bother with makeup and wig again.

Having said that Claire you seem to have many years left in you yet.

[Nadine Spirit]

But for those of you who are like me and dress for entertainment and the frill of it,

I think a lot of guys want to think this. Like the idea of "I don't do this because I am internally different, I just do it for fun! and I can stop anytime I want to. And eventually I will stop when I want to, because I just wont want to do it anymore because of _______ reason."

Hmmm...... if this was such an easy thing to stop then why are there so many who have purged repeatedly and every single time they told themselves I am throwing this stuff away because I will never do this again! And then low and behold, they do it again and buy the stuff all over again.

I think it is naive to think it is so easy to stop this because you are not serious about it, you just do it for the entertainment and fun.

That being said, will I ever stop, even if I could and even if I get older and not look the way I do now? Nope, I will not stop. I guess I will just be one of those old wrinkly cross dressers and personally I will be happy if I ever get to that point and I get to enjoy that privilege.

[ReineD]

I think the people who have stopped or drastically cut down aren't here to answer for themselves. Who knows why so many people join, are rather prolific with their posts for awhile, and then no longer participate.

I have a local friend whose husband CDed. He went through many cycles in his life (at one point he thought he wanted to be a girl), but he has stopped completely. My friend told me that the biggest factor was no longer being able to achieve his vision of a woman. I say "he", because this is how he now identifies.

There are of course many CDers who will CD all their lives, but not everyone fits in the same boat.

[Claire_tv_uk]

Thanks for all the replies, sorry i haven't replied to them all but thanks for making the effort.

Hi Claire - you'll always dress. Aging isn't so bad as you think, and I'm an "ancient" 51 years old!

you're probably assuming that i will based on your own experiences.

Claire, I'll respond as one of the older girls here, I'm 73. I have five kids, all girls beteen the age of 42 and 50. when I look at my kids I think that they still look pretty hot (if the weren't my kids) and the 20 somthing GGs just are too young to be interesting, hot yes, but interesting, no.

I think that it comes down to the fact that as we (males) age the GGs that are about our own age still look really good. When we were in our teens and twenties a GG in here forties was OLD!! Now a woman in here forties can be very attractive, soooo, I am happy to dress in an age approprate style. OK, so maybe I'd like to look like a woman in her late fifties rather than 70s.

I don't know how old you are Claire, but I will bet that over the years your tastes will slowly change. Reality is a hard master even in boy mode, its just not possible to look 20 anymore. Getting older anin't for sissies, but it beats the alternative!!

Hugs Bria

well my tastes haven't changed much in the 20 years since i first became aware that i liked to crossdress but i can't rule it out, i totally agree that women can look attractive up to a ripe old age but i just dont find their clothes attractive.

The above is just the same for me. Its been just over a year now since I bought my first wig and heels. I have been wearing dresses since young but not gone all they way - wig, heels etc until recently. Part of that was the curiosity to see what I would look like before getting too old. Now I do wish I had tried it earlier because as a teenager I remember I looked very hot in a LBD. Unfortunately digital cameras were not around then.
In the future I can imagine that the time will come when just wont bother with makeup and wig again.

Having said that Claire you seem to have many years left in you yet.

thanks, i hope so as i enjoy it.

I think a lot of guys want to think this. Like the idea of "I don't do this because I am internally different, I just do it for fun! and I can stop anytime I want to. And eventually I will stop when I want to, because I just wont want to do it anymore because of _______ reason."

Hmmm...... if this was such an easy thing to stop then why are there so many who have purged repeatedly and every single time they told themselves I am throwing this stuff away because I will never do this again! And then low and behold, they do it again and buy the stuff all over again.

I think it is naive to think it is so easy to stop this because you are not serious about it, you just do it for the entertainment and fun.

That being said, will I ever stop, even if could and even if I get older and not look the way I do now? Nope, I will not stop. I guess I will just be one of those old wrinkly cross dressers and personally I will be happy if I ever get to that point and I get to enjoy that privilege.

its not about stopping when i want to or even wanting to stop, i've no desire to stop now but i just envisage a time (i just picked 50 arbitrarily, it might be sooner or later) when i will. I've never purged as i think in most cases its an act of guilt and i don't feel guilt for crossdressing.

I think the people who have stopped or drastically cut down aren't here to answer for themselves. Who knows why so many people join, are rather prolific with their posts for awhile, and then no longer participate.

I have a local friend whose husband CDed. He went through many cycles in his life (at one point he thought he wanted to be a girl), but he has stopped completely. My friend told me that the biggest factor was no longer being able to achieve his vision of a woman. I say "he", because this is how he now identifies.

There are of course many CDers who will CD all their lives, but not everyone fits in the same boat.

yeah, i imagine anyone who's stopped probably won't still be on here to tell their story. Your friends husband sounds like me (although i have never wanted to be a girl) in that he has a set vision of how they want to appear.

[bimini1]

Interesting thoughts. I had a CD friend who says he thinks some people just "outgrow" it. And then there are some who take it as far as they can, accomplish everything they set out to do with it and boom it's over with.

As I near the half century mark with a toddler running around the house these are thoughts that are at the forefront of my mind. About 20 years ago a girlfriend asked me where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years with reference to the CD, do you still see yourself doing it?
I did not know how to process that. It was just this unsaid kind of feeling I had that this is just what I do, who I am. Sure I will still do it.

Now, I am not so sure. The fact that a couple of wrinkles have started to set in on my face definitely threw me. I could see myself in about 10 years throwing on a silvery gray wig and keep going with it. They do make some nice one's for the older ladies too.

But I don't think it will be the result of any conscious decision on my part. I relate it to when I gave up dope. I had done it for over 25 years. Had struggled to give it up on many times. Then one morning 7 years ago I literally "woke up" one morning and had a vision of my life without it crystal clear. There was and has been no struggle, no toiling. It just got up and left.

I think this is how the CD will go if it does indeed go.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Claire, you will never stop being a cd.

[Claire_tv_uk]

Claire, you will never stop being a cd.

what have you based this on?

[sometimes_miss]

Do any of you envisage an end date?

I've managed to quit crossdressing several times for quite a few years. So I'll manage to do it again. However; before, it was all under the delusion that if and when I did tell my SO, that she'd be accepting because of everything else I am, it would all outweigh the 'tiny' problem of my desire to crossdress. But since then, I've learned otherwise; I've also learned to carefully bring up the subject to find out the truth. And that ugly quote from 'a few good men' always comes back to haunt me; I can't handle the truth. My prying into whether the woman will ever accept crossdressing infects my feelings about her, and I lose interest when I find out that she has such negative feelings about any guy who 'isn't all man' as they usually put it. Once I know she'll never consider me worthy of her love because I'm not 'all man' in her eyes...my desire for her usually just withers up and dies. So for now, I have to play both sides of the fence, and keep that fence high enough to not let either side affect the other.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Claire, I base my opinion on how I struggle & fail miserably to stop, from readings of experts as to why we do what we do & the inability to stop & the many honored experts on this forum who are much more experienced & wiser than me. You raise great food for thought. I don't know you & don't want to paint Claire with a stereotyped paint brush , but only you can honestly answer this question for yourself. However, should your journey come to a red stop sign, particularly in your later years, don't be surprised if your cding reawakens & that red signal turns to green. Being a cd in your fifties brings different challenges & excitement. Claire, I truly wish you peace & continued enjoyment in being Claire. Good luck my friend.

[Claire_tv_uk]

thanks for your kind words, very nice of you,

i think the point that i'm making is that i've never tried to stop and i never will try, whilst the desire is there i will dress and enjoy it, when it goes i'll stop and i just think that'll happen when i no longer look like i want to when dressed,

i may well be wrong though.

[Tracii G]

I'm with Kate on this one.
Its not worth the stress worrying about it.Just because you age doesn't mean you have to stop doing what you love.
I'm 61 and enjoy life and what it has to offer.If you constantly stress over things you have no control over you will slowly kill your inner spirit.

[JennyLynn]

Only time will tell

[Nadine Spirit]

Claire-

You are kind of acting as though this is nothing more than just a fun quirky little thing you have chosen to do. Like you looked at a list of different potential hobbies and said, cross dressing sounds like fun, I guess I will give that a try. As you said you simply do it for "entertainment or the frill of it." (Is frill a UK thing, or did you mean thrill?) Like you do it as someone else would go to the movies.

Purging out of guilt was not my earlier point, my point was many try to stop and find themselves unable to do so. Many cross dressers hate that they cross dress and want nothing more than to stop. Many go to therapists and ask for help to quit and instead the therapist works with them to become comfortable with their desires, because they know there is no way to make the desires go away.

But, even with all of that being said, I do believe you can choose to not act on your desires, but most likely you will continue to desire to do it even if you can force yourself to stop acting on it. So, looking at my own words here, I suppose what I am knit picking is your thought that you do this for entertainment, and no other reason.

[linda booth]

Here's a twist on the question: I heard a CD ask what if ill health meant he'd end up in a nursing home & wasn't allowed to dress? I think that would be horrible!

[Ressie]

I'm also thinking along the line of Kate. There's no telling what the future holds for anyone. The desire to dress may decrease or increase or ebb and flow throughout the coming years.

[Wildaboutheels]

Maybe it's more an "American thing"... than in other countries...?

A [mostly prevailing] attitude that when one reaches their 40s or fifties or _______ that their best years are "behind them" and or they have little else "to look forward to". That is is simply a "given" that we will all get fatter, need more pills for various things, we will lose most or all of our sex drive and quality of life will get ever worse... and the list goes on and it IS true for most Americans who treat their bodies like trash dumps. They are likely obese or at least overweight, hooked on alcohol or drugs of some type, and/or smoke some type of product, get little or no exercise, and have poor diets. YES, one IS likely to be "all washed up" if one treats their bodies that way.

It's well established and well documented Scientific FACT: Regular exercise, a reasonable weight and a proper diet is the closest thing we have to a Fountain of Youth and there is absolutely NOTHING mysterious about it.

I'm not in the least worried about my future since my CDing has not changed in 50+ years.

But of course it IS people's CHOICE in how they treat their bodies.

[Adriana Moretti]

the thought crosses my mind occasionally and I wonder..but I will cross that bridge when I get to it...no use in thinking about it now. Another thing to keep in mind is your style may naturally mature as you do.....I started out as a punky goth girl in fishnets, vinyl, and latex, and now I would NEVER....I have matured
( slightly)...and Im sure I will some more.....eventually

[MWCMDarlene]

Claire,

I can remember when I was in my early 30's, I would probably quit when I turned 40 or so because that would be middle-aged and I would have "matured" enough to have had my fill, frill, and thrill of it all. Now here I am 51 and still CDing at every chance I get. At 30, there is no way I could envision myself doing this at 50. Now, at 51, I am beginning to wonder what I will be doing as concerning this activity when I retire (67-70). That will mean my wife will be home at that time also. She knows that I CD when she isn't at home and we have a DADT relationship as concerning CDing. She wishes, wants, and pray that I would stop this "sinning" that I do. It will be hard to stop, and will probably still do it when she isn't home.

I have also wondered about the "what if" should I ever be admitted into an "Old Folks" home. If/should that happen, it might be "Katie Bar the Door" because I might just chalk it up as being senile!

[Eryn]

I can no more envisage an "end date" than a GG could envisage an "end date." As I progress in my CDing I find that I am less interested in the "dress to the nines" experience and more interested in participating in everyday events, dressed and interacting in the way I desire. As I age I expect that my taste in clothes will evolve as that of a GG would. I expect that retirement will bring with it increased freedom to be myself.

I would really hate to reach the point of debilitation where it is physically impossible for me to express myself as I wish. At that point I'd just as soon unplug.