So it's snowing on Mother's Day,
and I was fortunate enough to be able to talk to my mother for an hour. (She is amazing!)
Now it's getting late, and it is snowing in the Rocky Mountains, and I am alone,
and I am trying to dress up,
trying to look pretty.
And one moment I feel pretty...but the next I feel completely revealed and raw and not pretty,
and I wonder if the whole thing is a lie.
Any other gals experience these fluctuations along the path we take?
Yes. I suffered thru a year of that crap when I first began dressing 17 years ago. I loved how I looked in women's clothes but despised my face!
I wish I could tell u that has changed after 16 years but it hasn't! However, long ago I came up with a compromise solution that works for ME. Doesn't for most others here, tho.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I can relate! At some angles, when all done up, i look like a gorgeous lady, but from the side, my chin, and neckline and jaw signal a man in a dress. And, when i hit my head on the ceiling fans, and door jam, i know i am way too tall to fool anyone.
We all have our faults, I have about 100 pounds worth. But the right outfit and the right makeup and you still can be very pretty! Enjoy it and look at the positive!
Genny B
Dani (Genny before Transition)
All Girl!
I think similar but not on a moment to moment basis. One time I'll wear a cute dress and heels, do my makeup, put on my "hair" and then look in the mirror and I can feel really pretty. Yet the following time I can wear a similar dress, similar shoes, my makeup style and colors might even be the same, and my "hair" is always identical, yet when I look in the mirror this time I see all these flaws. I perceive there’s a suggestion of beard shadow, my foundation looks wrong, my arms are too muscular, my stomach is sticking out and I don't feel pretty at all. When I first mentioned this to my wife she said to me: "That's normal. No woman feels good about herself all the time. Now you can empathize with women when they say they're feeling insecure about their appearance." My point is that don't worry, it's normal to feel this way sometimes, including for women it would seem!Originally Posted by Taylor Ray
Last edited by Rachel Morley; 05-11-2014 at 09:49 PM.
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The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Yes for me as well. I like how I look more and more with makeup but I hate how I look normally because I am overweight. I don't feel pretty when I look in a full body mirror. I have been steadily losing weight though so hopefully in a couple years I'll have the body I want
I have felt glamorous, dolled up and felt sophisticated.......
Then I walk past a mirror.
I shatter the dream, not the mirror.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Hi.
Be a real woman and you know you dont look pretty any time, mirror or no mirror we have our moments as well you know and its not allways seen say a short time after your born for the first few years, about two at the most
i have photos going back to 1947. i know how i looked then.
at age 10 i know how i felt about how i looked and over the last 21 years no different, and now not pretty, not even feminine in my looks. such is life and not worth the too much time thinking about it .
Having a life that includes one as a person its about accept the result and get on with life, and you can with others still have a neat lovely life just the same , i do and really when all said and done its not about how you look its about what youv done and can do and how you'v enjoyed every thing about your self,
my looks are not importaint my friends are and as i am to them.
...noeleena...
My time between dressing can be long at times. Then, when the moment comes and I go through all the motions, work hard on the makeup I look in the mirror and feel a bit "ridiculous " who am I kidding. I then go on a drive and look around at the natural girls and see that they too come in all sorts of shapes, colors and sizes. I realize that I am not fooling anyone as to my birth gender when out and about but I am kidding myself if I believe my female nature doesn't exist and doesn't need an outlet.
I definitely have good days and bad days. Generally I like how I look but some days it takes a lot of work.
I've gone through the same thing as you. It sometimes takes a while for everything to settle in and allow me the time to not focus on the specific things that attract my eye to male cues, but on the whole package. Usually if I give myself time to relax once I've done my makeup, hair and gotten dressed, it's easier to see how it's all working together. This isn't always the case. There are days when I can do nothing that makes me feel any better about how I look. At times like that I just have to shrug my shoulders and accept the fact that I'm male and can only approach what I pretend and never really arrive.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
I try desperately to view myself objectively. At times I think I look ok and other times I'm very hard on myself. That's part of human nature.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Oh don't worry, it's just your humanity showing. If you didn't feel this way from time to time you (and everyone around you) would have to start worrying. When you decide to present as something other than what you have thought or been told you are you will, inevitably, feel, sometimes like a phony. Even the most accomplished people feel this way. There's even a term for it: imposter syndrome. This is where, no matter what you do, you hear that little voice saying you are really such a fake. This is bound to be much more acute in someone who is being as transgressive as presenting as a different gender.
The way to deal with it is to look in the mirror, and give a great big smile (preferably a gorgeously lipsticked smile) and say to yourself, whatever you are you are at least presenting yourself (if only to yourself) the way you actually feel, and, honey, that is better than 90% of the people out there.
Yeah, you are revealed, but whenever we reveal ourselves as who we are we are beautiful and believe me, you are beautiful.
Just be thankful for those moments when you feel pretty. I have yet to experience one of those. I feel like a woman most of the time, but never pretty.
This me almost to a T. I don't drive around much but just hit the pavement and go. The end result is the same. I soon re-realize that everyone comes in all shapes sizes and colors and I start to relax and take it easier on myself.
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same
I can only echo what everyone else is saying, sometimes I feel like the princess and the next moment I'm the frog. It helps to hear that I'm not the only one.
Kelly
some days i have bad hair days, or bad makeup days...and when that happens I just look in the mirror and say " Eh...I will get em next time, call it a learning experience"...then I just try to enjoy my time....OR.... If I got the time or the energy, I will hit the re-set button and start the process all over again
Hi Taylor Ray, It sounds like PMS.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
This also happens to many women so I'm told. Don't worry about being pretty or noe, just be yourself. I think we endure a lot of needless worry mostly induced by ourselves over things that are not that important. If we are caring people interested in others that is what people will remember and appreciate.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Hi I know exactly how you feel. Especially when it comes to the mask I create with make-up. Sometimes it turns out great and I get to enjoy looking at a photograph of my "work" and sometimes it looks like I escaped the circus and get frustrated! All I know is it is the good times I feel all dolled up that satisfy my crave to be like a girl are worth it. I just keep trying to go again after all the bad times and hope for that perfect(will never exist!)look I so desire!
I used to have moments where I scared myself silly. I've got used to me since then.
It's just a matter of finding out what works for you.
Thanks for all of the support gals. It's really helpful to hear others who experience the same thing and that it's actually quite normal, even among women.
There seems to be a cloud that hovers over the TG spectrum that includes a lot of negative projections from joe public, almost like there's a voice that says:
"Look at that freak!"
It's a difficult barrier to break through.
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