Dressing up has always been a powerful turn on for me. But as my wife has gotten to be a friend and lover of Marsha, I have been able to enjoy being en femme more as an expression of my deep personality. As if it's a true facet of who I am. Especially after being intimate, I love to reval in the afterglow as if I were a girl.
WAH,
I would agree with many of the other responders that, for me, shortly after intimacy with my wife, I have less of an intrest in cross dressing. This only lasts an hour or so. So, I guess, if we were intimate every hour or so, (wow) I would not have much of a desire to cross dress.
I also have to say that when my wife dresses in an ultra feminine way (very rare), it really drives up my own desire to cross dress. Not sure where all of this places me, but cross dressing and confusion have always gone together for myself.
I guess a follow up question could be: What if your SO was always available and invited you to cross dress during intimacy, would you still want to cross dress as often? This would be a big yes for me.
When I'm in a stable relationship, I don't feel the urge to crossdress. Stress brings it on, or perhaps, the inability to subconsciously suppress the desire isn't successful when there are enough other stressors in my life. I made it without crossdressing for about ten months this past year, but most of the time I was all alone for long stretches, and eventually I gave up. A simple way to put it is, it was kind of like walking around outside without a coat on when it's really too cold; sure, you can force yourself to do it, but why?
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
To me Cding has always been sexual, before I married I had two GFs who were willing participants. Dressed or not made no difference to the eventual outcome but it never altered my need to CD, possibly the more I got of one the more I wanted of the other !
No connection at all. While getting dressed up can (and very often is) be a turn on, when I've been with women my thoughts have generally been totally focused on them and never really wandered into that other part of my psyche. Both very different types of experiences and motivators...very rich and sensual but special in their own way. Though you girls that are able to share your femme sides with your ladies are very lucky, as that must open up a whole other dimension to dressing...
Last edited by Renee Elise; 06-02-2014 at 04:09 PM.
There IS a connection here for me... If my wife had kept the same pace with me we had the first 4 of our 7 years together during the past 3 years, I may not have ever cross dressed or it may have taken me much longer to try it, being that I would have been more satisfied with our activities. I think a big part of me choosing this path is that the femininity was missing in our relationship to some degree. Marriages are a work in progress though, and I'm eternally optimistic. Usually, to a fault. (not meaning I want the cd-Ing to go away now, cuz I like it, but meaning I hope the same level of heat comes back someday). ;-)
^.^
In my case, I am a gender male. However, my personality is very female, and I feel like a woman trapped in a man's body. Now, as I said in another thread, I am diabetic, and the nerve damage associated with it has changed my sexual responses, to the point where I do not have a male orgasm, but I can get close, which means I can have several near-orgasms, which is closer to a female sexual response, the repetition.
What this means for me is that I date men, and in sexual encounters I play the role of the woman .. so it's sorta straight sex with a man.
If you find this weird, please let me know. Given that I posted this, I am certainly not offended by talking about sex. There are some who have thought the subject was offensive, but sexuality is as much a part of being a crossdresser as the clothing.
Amy M. Jackson
I think for many of us it starts out that way, but is not the reason we dress. After time it becomes less so as we better realize that dressing is something that is necessary. Yet for me and many others, I think, the reasons are not fully understood, but something that is necessary to express are needs.
^.^
To be clear, I don't dress up because of the sex. I dress up because I have a burning desire
to wrap myself in female clothing and present myself as the woman I feel I am.
I simply continue to express my woman during sex, by dating men, and engaging in bi sex.
But the two are somewhat separated.
Amy M. Jackson
Dressing and sex are different desires. But I dress less in this situation if my spouse or gf do not want my dressing.
As a very casual dresser, it doesn't change my desires at all. Pretty much...
It would not deter my desire to dress nor deter me from dressing period I am what I am, like what I like,
The reason you close your eyes when you dream, when you kiss, and when you pray is because the best things in life aren't seen with your eyes, but are felt with your heart.
When I had a partner who was ready, willing, and able, and I was VERY fortunate to have a partner like that, I didn’t dress AT ALL. Once we broke up, I resumed my dressing…Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels
For me dressing is more sexual/sensual when i dress sexy in lingerie. When I wear reg girl clothes its not as much.
Bored? Try wearing a pretty dress. It's fun.
Amy:
what's weird about ? I love being the woman with a man.
Marilyn Monroe says "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it".
and I wish I was born a woman
For me I do dress as female more when I am single but I think it is somewhat normal due to time and other factors. I have only had 1 woman I dressed up with years ago so don't really know how that would be now. I read article recently that basically most CD people dress up to look like the partner they want. Well it works for me and I have a orgasmic time with myself and my female look. It seems they are better and better as I dress more seductive and get better and more real. New lingerie and heels always helps also. Of course as mentioned with such strong orgasm comes very quick me turning off the stimulation and video to recover. People here have also said here that the sexual feeling when crossdressing goes away after a while well not for me yet and I hope it doesn't ever. I always watch beautiful woman in videos and there will never be a stop to new ones yea I love the internet. So this is from a straight CD'er who at this stage in life will probably never be gay and have no desire. I even went shopping today for clothes with my daughter and I mean female clothing like skirts and blouses. This was a first and I liked it.
Last edited by missVS; 07-08-2014 at 10:22 PM.
I am different from a lot of post I've read on this forum in that for me dressing is sexual. I've always been turned-on by lesbian scenes and in my mind when I'm dressed during sex it allows me to somewhat play out the fantasy that I could never truly have. Fortunately, my girlfriend is very accepting of cd's and I've been experimenting dressing during non-sexual times to see how far the 'non-fetish' aspect goes for me.
For me, I love the feeling of a dress, slip, bra, cami, women's shorts, pants much more than any of my male clothes. I find women's clothing much more comfortable and relaxing.
I'm lucky enough to have a partner who *likes* my girl, almost as much as she likes my guy side.
As Bi/Pan, I'm used to overlooking what someone was born with. If I like them, I don't *care* what bits they have.
"Gender" is a label. You can put that kind of sticky paper anywhere.
Fit where you fit. I hope you all kind find someone who *gets* you.
<3
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
What's all the WAH business? I looked it up and I see it's supposed to mean "working at home", but what the heck does that have to do with anything here? Should it be SAH, for sex at home?
Anyway, my dressing doesn't sexually stimulate me much. I usually don't dress when I masturbate. The clothes just get in the way. I do sometimes dream of having sex by climbing into a dress that a woman is already wearing. It would have to be a stretchy dress (but also frilly and satiny or silky).
I do like to look and feel sexy in a feminine way. I like to say that MtF crossdressers have good taste. We like beauty. I guess the brain mixes that up with sex sometime.
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
Male sexual desire in general "goes down a bit after the big 'O'", then "comes right back". Why would it be different for those of us whose sexuality involves crossdressing? Not the only reason, as you say, but an important part it it's a part at all.
In fact, I would suggest that it's that post-O sag, when the heightened feelings are spent, where the guilt feelings and vowing never to CD again have their moment of prominence in our psyches. As anyone who has ever used cocaine can tell you, the high is followed by a low, and the trick is learning how to ride out the low by understanding that it's temporary. Those who can do that can use without addiction; those who can't stand the low get high again and become addicted.
In many ways, sex mimics that high/low cycle, albeit legally and without the danger of true chemical addiction. It's brain chemistry.
Absolutely not. In fact, my wife is ALWAYS willing and able and could 'do that' till it killed me. LOL
While some dress for sexual gratification, I'm not one of them. I dress because of the way it makes me feel, it completes me...
I will say that I used to remove my 'clothes' right after intimacy, but only because I felt guilty abut dressing. Now that my wife is much more accepting, I'm dressed most of the time while at home (not while doing outside chores, but I'm always under-dressed).
Last edited by khaleesie; 07-15-2014 at 03:22 PM.
I "dressed less", meaning not at all, when I was in love with my ex. It has always been that way with me. Of course there was very regular intercourse, but that really had nothing to do with it. Actually, my ex was pretty much a nymph and wanted it as much as I did. Even when the relationship started turning "rocky", there was still pretty normal sex between us. When the fighting kept on going, started getting worse, and the frequency increased, I started falling out of love. That's when I started dressing again. It was like this in other past relationships for me, too. At the beginning of our relationship, before I fell in love with her, I was still crossdressing even as we were having sex 3 or more times a day and a lot of the time it was more than that.
For me at least now in my life dressing is not really sexual, it does relax me and the desire is much stronger when i am stressed. I travel a lot and love to dress in my hotel room but there is not sexual relaese because i am dressed but as i said i feel so much more relaxed and i get a kind of clarity in my mind. I do find my self drawn to looking at myself and taking many pics when dressed which i never do in drab??? I think it is mostly do to me wanting to improve my look and look more fem.
I will say this my wife likes when we do the dirty deed that i wear thi highs and panties sometimes and i enjoy it as well but it doesnt do anything differnt then when we are sexual and i am in drab.
My wife and i have been together for over 38 years and i just want to know were all of you got wifes who are always willing LOL.
Amy, I'm bisexual. I don't find this weird at all. It sounds awesome! I'm jealous.
I just don't think we fit into the "straight" adjective highlighted into the thread title.
Thanks for your candor. I'd love to chat with you more some time.
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