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Thread: Another small step...more ways than one.

  1. #1
    Senior Member samantha rogers's Avatar
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    Another small step...more ways than one.

    This may seem old hat to some, but not me.

    I am sitting here admiring a pair of small golder ball studs that now adorn my ears.
    It took many years but I now have pierced ears. Yes!

    But something of greater significance accompanied this small act.
    As some know, my wife has been slowly coming to terms with the revelations earlier this year regarding my gender identity. It has been difficult, but there is a very good reason I fell in love with her many years ago, and she showed that again today. She was with me when I had the ears done and is ok with it.
    And afterward, we were in a store together and she did not react unfavorably at all when I spotted and purchased a little skirt. She is coming to terms with this, slowly, but steadily and accepting the situation for what it is.
    I am not pushing hard.
    I am gentle and moving slowly.
    And she is seeing that I am still her partner and best friend and that the important things have not changed.
    Day by day.
    One small step at a time.
    And today was a very good day.

  2. #2
    Banned Read only
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    Congrats Samantha. That's a step I've yet to find the courage to do.

  3. #3
    Gold Member
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    It really isn't an easy jump to make Samantha. Our fears of people making us or judging us slow us down. I had 1-2 question when I did mine and that was it. Congratulations and enjoy all the earring shopping you will do while you wait to heal.

  4. #4
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Sammie. Good for you and what a great wife you have. I would love to get my ears pierced however I have to follow dress regulations and the military (even the Canadian military) has not taken the leap to allowing a male to wear stud retainers in uniform. So clip-on for now. I am glad to hear about how well things are going with you and your wife and you are right the best way forward is slow and steady.

    Hugs

    Isha

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    A little gentle prod here and there is much better than a giant push.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
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    Hi Samantha, You are so lucky to have such a very special wife .
    Congratulations on getting your ears pierced, That's still on my Bucket list.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  7. #7
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    Good for you! I know how great that feels. My wife has said that for her (and presumably for at least some other GGs too) that CDing is like tasting a new food you have to experience it at least ten times before you start to get a liking for it.
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

  8. #8
    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    Hi Sammie,

    Congratulations on your new purchase, and for having a great support system in your wife. Yo must be grinning from ear to ear today, and your earring selection ability has increased by about a million.

    am truly happy for you
    Gretch

  9. #9
    Kate kathrynt21's Avatar
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    What great news, Sammi! I am really happy for you. You deserve it!!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Suzanne F's Avatar
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    Congratulations Samantha. I plan on getting mine pierced with my daughter in a few weeks. I appreciate how difficult it is to try to do this with our wives. I am pulling for you!
    Suzanne

  11. #11
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    That's a nice positive and gentle message to start the day with, Sammie... you are indeed fortunate and my fingers remain crossed for you both...

    Just make sure you steer away from the dangly, 3-carat per ear, diamond chandeliers once your piercings have healed... that might have more impact than a little skirt...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  12. #12
    Neanderthal in nylons Julie Denier's Avatar
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    Wonderful news, Samantha!

  13. #13
    Seasoned Member Rhonda Darling's Avatar
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    Congratulations. I'm envious. Every time I bring up getting mine pierced, my otherwise very supportive SO shoots it down, suggesting that while I still am working that getting my ears pierced would draw too much unwanted attention -- that I'm too old to do it and have to explain why I did it to the muggles I work or socialize with. I'm 63 and would otherwise risk it, but I care deeply about the opinion of my SO on these matters and thus I'm conflicted. (Loud sigh!).

    Every time there is a story like yours, I'm encouraged to raise the issue again.

    Enjoy the amazing jewelry options that just opened up for you, and do report back on any reactions - good or bad - that you get from others.

    Regards,
    Rhonda
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Be all the woman that you can be!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    . . . and now, On With The Show!

  14. #14
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    That is pretty awesome Samantha.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  15. #15
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    I'm glad to hear, again, that as the changes become more apparent, love and friendship prevail over fears.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  16. #16
    Member karinels's Avatar
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    Congrats on the ears. I had my left ear done 20 some years ago and finally did the right about 2 years ago. Other than Isha's military excuse, I really do not know why this should be such a big deal to anyone. Most guys these days all have holes in both ears. And Rhonda, even at 63, you can always use the mid life crisis or youth nostalgia excuses and I bet youd never get second guessed, lol. But what seems so easy for some may not be for others. I do have to say, getting both of mine done was one of the best things I ever did. I so love the selection that pierced ears allow for.

  17. #17
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    congratulations
    I find your story inspiring :-)
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  18. #18
    Charlotte Allison Morris NavyM2F_WAM's Avatar
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    I don't know if I could ever pierce my ears: I have such a low pain tolerance. I even hate getting shots, but who doesn't?

    I would like to find some clip-on earrings that don't hurt my ear lobes, but will stay on, even after moderate pulling.

    Samantha, I must say that you look really good in your picture. I don't have any pics of me on this new laptop, en femme or not.

  19. #19
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
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    First off: good going, Sammy. The really nice looking earrings all require pierced ears. You will be quite happy with your choice to have them done.

    Second, but much greater than the first: It's wonderful to read of your marital stability in light of advancements in crossdressing. I want to be delicate here, as I am struggling with some very similar challenges.

    In the pursuit of resolving one's gender identity dissonance, relationships can be strained. None more so than marital relationships. When spouses come to accept crossdressing, many CDs say the wife has advanced in her understanding. That may be true, but we must bear in mind that where they once had a particular vision of their mate, they now are accepting a different vision, one that involves lowering their standards. Ie: Where they once had someone they could proudly brag about, they now have someone with a shameful secret they must protect.

    It is difficult for them to participate in this shameful secret life at any level, even simply condoning ear piercing or skirt purchases. My wife, and I suppose yours too, has come to the point of acknowledging a CDs needs. She she does not completely understand it all, but wants to be supportive, even to the point of supporting this dark secret. (The wig my wife and I selected should be delivered early next week.)

    *THAT* is my big take-away from your piercing and skirt story, and my reason to celebrate with you. I wish you continued marital stability while advancing toward becoming the true YOU.

    Best wishes
    MsVal

  20. #20
    50's Housewife Wannabe Madilyn A.'s Avatar
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    Congrats Sammi,

    Seemingly a small step, but indeed a significant move towards acceptance of your gender identity. Your wife has accepted the ' total package', the whole of the person she married, not just select parts of your personality. I believe when wives understand the y fell in love with a total package of a person, and that thing that made you special unbeknownst to them earlier in the relationship is as much of who you are as any other thing they were attracted to in you.

    Yes, a small step towards total acceptance of Sammi, by the one who matters most.
    Believe in the impossible dream, dreams do come true !!!

    www.flickr.com/madilyna

    Madilyn

  21. #21
    Member JazmyneCD's Avatar
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    I had my ears pierced at the urging of my wife who told me she's been trying to get me to do it for years. I now want to get them done a second time and I'm sure she will be all for it.

    You have a lovely wife and I'm very happy things are working out. It's a beautiful thing to be accepted by the ones who matter most

    But before you come to any conclusions
    Try walking in my shoes

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