Update to "I told the wife tonight with the letter"

[lpjamey]

Hi all, thank you so much for your warm wishes on my latest journey. After my wife and I talked for over 1 1/2 hours last night I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders! My job is a major pressure cooker most of the time but this was the hardest situation that I've ever delt with, bar none. I must say that when I kissed her goodnight and we went to our separate rooms my emotions were all over place! I went to sleep not having to be afraid that I would be caught wearing my forms, bra and night shirt and not worrying about how I was going to explain what I was doing if she came in and saw me! I'm such a lucky man to have a wife that is trying to come to grips with my cd'ing and will try to understand my feelings in this process and not force me to stop. We had a great day today and no nasty remarks,comments or any such things and could possibly be one of the best days we have had together in a few years. I hope to have more good news in the future about my journey. THANKS TO ALL!!

[Julia B]

Take it slow. My wife originally was receiptive after being told. For a couple years she let me do my CD thing and we shopped together online. She bought me makeup and let me dress at home occassionally. Two years later she dropped the bomb that she wanted a divorce. Be sure to check in on your wife's comfort level often.

[Teresa]

Jamey not having nasty remarks and digs is a step in the right direction but when some things remain unsaid it can leave you feeling in limbo. I had to push a little more to try and get some ground rules, it's alright the wife thinking he'll just have to get on with it but at what level. I still don't know how much my wife knows and how much she's choosing to ignore. There are threads about at the moment about honesty, I would love to be totally open and honest with my wife but perhaps she doesn't want me to be, maybe she's gone as far as she wants to share it with me ! The whole situation is still as clear as mud !!

[Rebekah_uk]

Ipamey

Having told my wife in early February, I can only echo what the others are saying.
For me telling my wife was probably one of the most terrifying moments of my life. The weight of discovery may have been removed from your shoulders. As I can only assume that your are out to your wife only like myself. Remember you have pulled her into the closet with you.

Communication is paramount because of this. The internet is a great tool and read up on the subject and be ready to answer any and all questions she may have. If she wants to explore this subject herself. Get some web addresses of some reputable sites and don't let her find some seedy site first. This can only do more damage than good.

I have just read "My Husband Betty" this a great well researched book on the subject. It explores the subject from the wife's point of view but will also help you understand what maybe going through wife's thoughts to.

I didn't set out to do a long reply, so take it slow and communicate on the subject. If you can have open conversations on the subject. You will go along way to building towards the future.

Take care
Rebekah

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jamey, Ok, Now the ball is in her court be careful and Don't overwhelm her with this program give her time to digest it.

[Beverley Sims]

The same advice here as others have given, go slow, don't push it and acceptance will be slow but should remain positive.

Speed the process up and you go over the cliff, big time.