seeing a lot of fear here.

[JamieOH]

Just remember to be you and be confident that you are normal and prefect and everything will go well. I rarely wear makeup. And I go shopping, restaurants etc always use ladies room and though i get the occasional second glance i am treated well. Smiles, respect, Small talk, etc. People tend to respond to you based on your own confidence.
Don't be afraid to just be you. Don't try to fool anyone. Especially yourself.
And remember, you aren't alone this site among many prove that everyday. Please just relax, smile, and be true, be you.

[Pink Susan]

Good post
Women wear what they like , I fail to see why I can't ?

[Rachel Morley]

I agree, high confidence does take you a long way, but IMHO there are other things you also need to consider if you are out "mainstreaming".

[JamieOH]

Of course there are always going to be someone to act a fool. And I don't go clubbing or even to bars. I go to kroger and meijer and Chipotle and Starbucks. Places like that. It's just been my experience that people are much more accepting of me when I'm accepting of myself. And if you don't get out there and mingle you will always be a dirty little secret. You want to go out then do it 20140606_140118.jpg

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

I agree totally! When I go out, I don't restrict where I go, or who I interact with. I have as much a right to be where I go when I am dressed up, as I do in drab. I carry myself with confidence, as anyone, man or woman, should. I associate with people at work, and although some of them do not accept me and do not talk to me much, that is THEIR issue, not mine. The places and people who are not accepting are actually a small minority of the places out there.

So, there ya go.


Amy M. Jackson

[Nadine Spirit]

It's just been my experience that people are much more accepting of me when I'm accepting of myself. And if you don't get out there and mingle you will always be a dirty little secret. You want to go out then do it

I totally agree with you.

And I will add, I am not saying everyone has to, just simply, you can if you want to. If you don't want to don't do it, but my experience has been so personally freeing. I see myself and the world both so pleasantly differently than I used to.

[Tracii G]

We are on the same page sister I say get out and mingle if that is what you want to do.

[Adriana Moretti]

yea I'm with Traci....she KNOWS what we r talking about....closet queens...hideaway honeys.....you worry too much.....

your just a hideaway.......your just a feeling..............

[AmyGaleRT]

I always say, be confident in yourself and confident in your presentation, and don't worry so much about "passing." Remember, "If you believe it, they believe it."

After you've gone out enough times, it'll be second nature to you. When I walk through a store as Amy, I'm not just "dressing as" a woman, I am a woman, in every way that matters. I am secure in my femininity, no matter what.

- Amy

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

Well, like yesterday, I went out to two stores, a Bed & Bath store, and K Mart,
and I went dressed up. The associates at Bed & Bath treated me very professionally,
they gave me very good information, at a normal speed, and they treated me as
the person presented to them, that is, a mid-age woman who was seeking a bit
of beauty advice. Given that their prices are somewhat comparable to K Mart, I
believe in rewarding such customer service, so I will most probably buy some
perfumes and perhaps some shaving supplies from them.

There were some things I found at K Mart that Bed & Bath did not have. B&B does
not carry purses, for example. The ladies at B&B actually recommended K Mart for
a few items, and I have found some affordable necklace and purse options. Plus
they have wax supplies and such. I liked how the sales associate I talked to was
honest with me, saying that she did not like waxing because of the pain. Even
though waxing is something I might try to see if the benefits outweigh the risks,
I appreciate it when a salesperson is able to tell me the downside of a product, and
not simply hype it. I also found a good ladies anti-perspirant and some other things,
so this upcoming payday here at the end of the week may be interesting.


Amy M. Jackson

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Jamie, for some of us it's not fear of public, for me It's much more domestic.
Would you gamble a 1 time all in MILLION dollar bet that life would be good ever after?
50% pay out.
Seriously, I would love to be open and out in public, living the life. I find I'm very envious of those that have the freedom to do just that. But that million dollar bet? It's
no joke for me.
Fear of public rejection, laugh!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Claire Cook]

I am not saying everyone has to, just simply, you can if you want to. If you don't want to don't do it, but my experience has been so personally freeing. I see myself and the world both so pleasantly differently than I used to.

Nadine (and Amy), you've expressed just how I feel -- yes, freeing!. Confidence is one of the big lessons I've learned from Lacey Leigh's books.

[CrossJess]

I agree Cd's worry waaaaaaay to much, I've always gone out wearing what I feel like wearing, the only comments I get are when I'm alone and from groups of immature teenage lads hanging around laughing at me and calling me a "puff" or "look at that gay faggot he looks like a girl" the only time I don't get it is when my bf's with me then again he's twice the size of me and solid muscle , though why groups of lads feel the need to resort to name calling is beyond me, also get comments from girls too but it's usually the opposite stuff I over hear like "he's got a girl butt" or annoyance that my legs are thinner than theirs lol


Actually this topic reminds me of when I was siting down in a busy town waiting for my bf last year and I saw a guy coming out of the shop river island wearing a guys jumper and a long green pleated skirt, I put my thumb up as to say "respect man" and he glanced over and looked at me said "alright hun" then smiled and went on his way, I then began to observe people around me and no one took a blind bit of notice not one person.....

[Butterfly Bill]

And I don't go clubbing or even to bars. I go to kroger and meijer and Chipotle and Starbucks. Places like that.

In my case it's Lowe's, O'Reilly's auto parts, Hoope's hardware, and the local Homeland supermarket, as well as Grace Episcopal Church. My first time outside of a Rainbow Gathering was an arts and crafts fair in a park in Lawrence, Kansas. A place I knew there would be a lot of liberal and open minded people.

Wait till you start getting compliments on your clothes and questions about where you got them from women, many of whom are complete strangers.

[DanielleLee]

While I agree with the sentiment that CDs worry too much about what others are thinking/looking at... (Our levels of narcissism and "it's all about me" syndrome is an entirely different topic, LOL)

Still I would agree with the others who've posted... if you're going to go out, (or anytime really) be confident & be yourself.

[Kate Simmons]

I don't see a lot of fear here per so but mostly uncertainty. That can only be rectified by getting possession of our own vessels.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jamie, Dressing to blend in is a real confidence boaster.

[JamieOH]

Please don't misunderstand. This is aimed at those that try to go out but are afraid of public rejection. I understand where you are at. I once was. But I decided to go all in and risk it all. Job family all of it. I'm done being ashamed and hiding. So I'm me. Because of my job i am Required to wear uniform so no cute work outfits. Sigh. But i wear women's jewelry and they let me disobey the handbook and have long hair and both ears pierced

Hell-o Jamie, for some of us it's not fear of public, for me It's much more domestic.
Would you gamble a 1 time all in MILLION dollar bet that life would be good ever after?
50% pay out.
Seriously, I would love to be open and out in public, living the life. I find I'm very envious of those that have the freedom to do just that. But that million dollar bet? It's
no joke for me.
Fear of public rejection, laugh!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

I am considerate of my friends, and I don't dress at home. It may work as a means of
keeping Amy fresh, so to speak. I wear panties 100% of the time, so at home, that is
all that is needed.

At work, they can not touch me. If they do anything that sniffs of discrimination, I
could take it out of their hide. However, most of the people working there, and all of
my supervisors have been very nice about it.

As for the general public, I am having a ton of fun going out dressed, whether it is
to places where there are people I know, or not. I went into Loaf n Jug to get ice.
One of the people working knew me. We talked. He was okay. The other associate
was better, and the lady I talked to at Subway was awesome.

So, I always carry myself with confidence, and I figure my friends may come around
in the future.


Amy M. Jackson

[Marcelle]

Hi Jamie,

I agree that if you are going to go out (and everyone will know when and if they are ready) then you have to have a bit of confidence to "own the moment" sort to speak. Smiling and making eye contact is a must to keep things normalized. In addition, you do need a thick skin as there will be snickers, guffaws and the occasional rude comment (goes with the territory). However in my own experience, you also need a sense of awareness regardless of whether you think the venue is a TG friendly zone or not. Keep and active vigil (not hyper-vigilance) and be aware of those around you, read body language and facial expressions to determine if sitting on this mall bench amongst all these guys is a good thing or not. No need to be fearful . . . just cautious as you never know.

Hugs

Isha

[mariehart]

I agree somewhat. I do think I personally worry too much. I remember meeting someone once and we were to meet another in the bar downstairs. We got changed in a room in a Gay hotel and the other girl was heading down to meet the guy. She invited me but I couldn't do it. So I stayed in the room even though I was perfectly passable and I only had to walk out the door of a gay hotel a few yards to a gay bar. I don't know why I didn't do it.

But one of my ambitions is to set that to rights. Ironically I have since moved to a smaller city and while it's fairly liberal I won't risk it. On the other hand I'm planning to go back to my home town, Dublin which is considerably bigger and have some fun possibly with another girl. Maybe through a dressing service. Broad daylight even. I think I'm ready. But I wouldn't do it on my own, just yet.

[Beverley Sims]

Jamie,
Confidence accounts for about seventy percent of our fears.
Neat general appearance helps the other thirty percent.