My wife and I stopped at a local craft store (national chain) on Saturday so she could pick up a couple of picture frames. As we were checking out (I had walked past the checkout to the magazine rack and was browsing), the checkout girl yelled, in a voice suitable for gating attention across a crowded room at a dance club, "Where did you get that top? I really like it."
At first I didn't realize she was talking to me, when I did I was a bit flustered to be asked where I bought a generic V-neck t-shirt, but realized that the girl wasn't quite sure if I was male or female and wanted to hear me talk to verify her suspicions.
As I was about to respond with "Please use your inside voice, dear", my wife answered the question and we left. The interaction aggravated my wife, primarily because she worries about me, but I just brushed it off. But I know that it upsets her, and is one of the reasons she has to really make an effort to be in public with me; she doesn't want to be the center of attention because of me. She's naturally a very private person.
She has her own dichotomy to deal with, wanting me to be safe and happy and dealing with the trans issues and the impact on her. Overall she does a pretty good job (and married me after we found this out about me).
We went off to a couple of big malls and did some more shopping, with no more than the confused looks I'm used to from people that notice me (most people see what they expect to see). Got the usual "can I help you ladies" or "let me know if you need a dressing room" while at the clothing stores and no outrageous reactions from anyone the rest of the day.
I've found that most people just don't care or notice and those that do, well it's their problem not mine. But I hate when it impacts my wife in a negative way.
I'm just venting. I know there are no solutions.