How do you see yourself? All input/replies welcomed

[Donnagirl]

Isha we use the term in the Uk maybe we got it from the Aussies during the war, Donna may put you right. It just means to fool around to us, to be a complete "arse" just means to be a complete idiot, something I do quite regular like being outed to a horse rider or a commuter train !!

Teresa,

You are right, as a verb it does mean to act the clown, to engage in practical joking.. However, as for so many Aussie slang terms is has multiple uses and in my post is was used as an adjective, describing a reversal of the expected norm, doing things backwards or out of logical order... It can also be used as an adverb to mean an about turn, or sudden abrupt change in thought, direction or motion. I'm sure there are more... We are lucky 'down under' in that if a phrase seems to fit, it will!!! And I'm not arsing about!!!

Hugs,

Donna

[Richelle]

Isha,

Like many have already said, when I am out I want to be perceived as me. If they see a man dressed as a woman that is just as OK as being seeing as a woman.

I must not have the same strong male traits you have. Even when not out fully enfem, I am still sometimes precieved as a women. Of course it helps that I have longer hair cut in feminian style and wear long earrings.

When I fully dress as Richelle and look at mirror I see middle aged woman.

Richelle

[Stephanie47]

I'm an in home cross dresser. When looking in a mirror from afar I see a woman. The mirror does not reveal my six foot/190 pound frame. I wear stylish dresses and heels all the time while en femme. Up close to the mirror? I see an aging human being. I haven't decided if that an aging looking male or a aging looking female. Since I know I am a male, I'm my worst critic. I will never pass as a woman. I have gone out en femme on Halloween. That was when I was in my 30's. I got some nice compliments. I have not desire to go out en femme among the masses. I dress for peace and serenity. That would be compromised going out en femme and enduring the possibilities of stares and comments. When I am en femme at home or in my back yard, I really do not think anymore that I am dressed as a woman. There is nothing sexual or sexually gratifying about being en femme.

[grace7777]

When I am dressed and look in the mirror I see a woman.

When I go out en femme I want to be perceived as a woman. Also when out dressed
I feel like a woman. Before going out I put effort in to making myself look as good as I can.
In public though I am not always perceived the way I wish to be.

Now my goal is to be dressed en femme as much as possible. It Would be nice to live full time as a woman, but the reality of my life done not allow that. I am also now trying to learn female mannerisms and to act like a woman in ways other than just dressing. I am now starting to feel more natural when en femme than in drab.

When I first started CDing, my goal was just to dress en femme at home, but the more and more I discover my female side, the more I want to present as a woman. In the last year this desire has really grown stronger. I am now doing things I never thought possible a few years ago. As to the future I will have to wait and see what it holds, and I have never been good in predicting my own life. 10 years ago I could have never predicted my life being where it is now.

[Veronica Lacey]

Hi Isha...

While my wife is aware and reasonably supportive I do not go public dressed and do not plan to. I have some private time at home that affords me time to dress and relax en femme; I wear forms but no make up and no wig. I take no action to act female nor reflect female mannerisms although I suspect some of my regular mannerisms lean a little into the female spectrum.

When I look in the mirror I see a man in women's attire and that is it. I feel that the mirror accurately reflects who I am which is a guy who has found solace and joy in cross dressing. I have neither vision nor hope of being seen as a woman and that is just fine. If the day did ever come that I did go public I would hope that people just treat me as a person.

Enjoy!

[Rhonda Jean]

I've changed as I've gotten older. When I first started going out (late teens and early 20's) I saw myself as a woman and expected that everyone saw what I saw. Now I'm comfortable being seen as a crossdresser, but hopefully at least non-offensive or even attractive in a feminine way.

What I've never gotten over in 40 years of going out in public is the preoccupation with what others see me as. Every time I see someone looking at me, I wonder what they see. I absolutely doesn't bother me, whatever they see (unless it makes them want to beat me up or something), I just always wonder. I think that's why we like to get "ma'amed". Otherwise we would have no idea.

At this point in my life my preference is to be seen as a woman. To blend. My second choice is to be seen as somewhere in between, but worthy of being referred to as she or her. I love for that to happen when I'm not even trying to pass. I guess the general public is becoming more educated about such things because I have that happen more and more.

I did my own Isha type experiment years ago. I knew that people were reading me, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out how. So I started asking. For instance, I'd buy donuts one morning dressed to pass, then come back to the same place a day or two later and say something like, "I bet I was the only guy dressed as a woman you had in your shop all day on Monday." Or I'd figure out some other scenario to see if I passed. If I didn't, I'd ask them what gave me away. The most common answer was, "I don't know. There was just something." I heard that it was my hands, which I don't see how that's possible. I have small hands. Once I heard that it was because I was wearing a leopard print bra that was visible through my top. I can't see that as something that screamed "crossdresser" either. Once I heard that it was my wig. I wasn't wearing a wig. What I decided was that sometimes it really was "just something". Probably a whole bunch of tiny clues that any of them alone wouldn't have indicated anything. I've been called sir when I thought that nobody could possibly tell I wasn't a woman, and I've been ma'amed when I wasn't trying. Sometimes I think I get treated better because they know.

[alexakennard]

I think everything about being en femme to me is sexual. I feel sexier and more confident as a woman. I plan on wearing a female mask instead of make up as I don't want to change my facial appearance. I don't have a desire to be woman as I am still attracted to women. I just feel a sexual energy I don't feel as a man when I'm dressed in women's clothes. I don't plan on publicly going out, rather just dressing up at home. I see myself as a woman in the mirror when I'm dressed up, but as a normal guy when I'm not.

[Jaymees22]

1) When I look in the mirror I see myself as a woman. Sometimes I look better than other times, I guess we all have good days and bad days.

2) I don't go out too often but when I do I would like to be perceived as a women. I'm probably okay from a slight distance but close up not so good.

[Sc0rp10N]

Its all about the fantasy for me, so I pretend I can see myself as a woman, but I don't go so far as to convince myself. I know better. But its fun to pretend. And I don't go out. Someday, I think it would be fun to push the envelope, but it probably won't be any time soon.

[alexakennard]

That's exactly how I am. I see it as sexy and fun to pretend, but I also enjoy my life as a male. Since I wear a female mask, I think going out in public is a no go ever hahah.

[MssHyde]

I'd say I see a woman but I have to be very selective on every thing to make that happen. sleeveless I'd look like the hulk, in drag, me even adding sun glasses makes my jaw etc. look male...

if the moon is full the star are aligned and lights are dim I'm a gg..( well maybe not)

[alexakennard]

I definitely don't do sleeveless. My arms are not built like a lady. However, I do make an exception for lingerie (who doesn't).

[Teresa]

Donna thanks for the run down, I thought the full phrase to do things back to front was " arse about face ".
It's got me wondering where it came from, I think P.G. Wodehouse use to have Bertie Wooster saying " silly arse or was it "ass" as in stupid donkey. I still think it might have originated as military slang from WWI or WW2.

Maybe we should have PMd this as it has nothing to do with Isha's thread !

[KaylaRoxx]

It;s strange for me, and it's something im still largely trying to figure out for myself... when i'm dressed up i want to see myself as a girl so bad... but i don't. because i don't pass as a girl. i may just be too hard on myself, but for me when i look in the mirror i know that i will just never be able to look "good enough" to be up to my own standards for how i should be able to look. it gets pretty discouraging knowing that i probably won't be able to without at least some kind of surgery, which is something i really don't want to deal with. If i could manage to make myself passable then yes, i would see myself as a girl, but since im not quite that good yet i still don't completely see myself as a girl when i'm dressed up either. Having never actually gone out while dressed up, i can't really say anything on the second question.

[Emogene]

I am who I am and cycle seemingly randomly from my male self (the dominant birth, heterosexual male side) to Emo and back again all within the privacy of my head. This at times happens quite rapidly. I am usually aware of who is presenting based on my what is going on in my head rather than because of what I am wearing. My SO has stated that she can tell when Emo and I trade out based on body language, how and what is said and how my face appears. Interestingly, my diastolic pressure drops about ten points when Emo is the lead. As to the specific question, sorry, the mirror unfortunately lies and sometimes shows an old man rather than the old woman who is in fact present.

That said, clothing does not make the man/woman; I am who I am at any given time and all of the male/female accoutrements that I may be wearing don't change that one bit.

Emo is a classy older woman who does so like her things!

[natalie edwards]

When i look in the mirror i only see a girl. I look nothing at all like boy me.
On the inside i feel mostly the same but more at ease and relaxed. Love how i look so much better though.