Last night I posted that I was feeling good about my self and how I looked after a bit of a slump. I finished typing shut off the computer and headed to bed, as I passed the mirror I stopped and looked and shamelessly admired the reflection. I thought I can't stop now so I changed into some pants (it was cold and rainy) and jumped in the car and went to the bank, I decided to save myself a trip in the morning. It felt great to be in my skinny jeans and boots and outside, I was nervous that a neighbor would step out but that faded and I just kept enjoying the time. At the bank machine there were a few people smoking outside the bar a couple of shops down and no one looked at me twice. It felt good, like a little validation that I'm getting better at this. These are all small things that so many of you have done over and over but to do it myself was great, I feel like I'm accepting me more and that feels really good. I had to fight down the urge to look at ever other driver on the road but nobody even glanced at me on the way there or back, it felt good and it felt normal.
Isha this is beyond a shadow of a doubt your fault!!
After reading about how you handle anything that gets thrown at you I just needed to get out there and start letting go of the fears, questions and doubts holding me inside and out of sight. Small steps but I'm glad to be taking them.
...
