Wanting a relationship
Hi there it's megan i am posting this because i want other people's views on the matter i really want a relationship with a woman but as of yet i have had no luck it is causing me so much anxiety and depression that i will sit at home and just cry i know it sounds stupid but i just don't know what to do have you got any advice for me thanks megan.
Hi! I can really empathize with you about this. When I was young and alone, I would lay in a fetal position and cry until my jaw hurt from the sheer weight of loneliness. At the time, I would have taken anything - man, woman, trans* - just to not be alone anymore.
My best advice for you is exactly what you won't want to hear: have patience. Please don't go and do anything stupid just to get attention and affection. i did that and I still suffer mentally and emotionally from the mistakes I made.
I can't tell you how to actually find a relationship. My wife and I met while working for the same organization and we became friends and were friends for 6 years before we even thought of the possibility of having a romantic relationship. We've been married 12 years now. It just sort of happened organically.
Perhaps others on here will have better advice on meeting people. Just know that you are not really alone and others have gone through these exact same feelings and desires and have made it out on the other side.
REBEL WITHOUT A CLOSET!
All trans* girls are NOT created equal. https://www.flickr.com/photos/emi_again/
Megan, I hope you don't mind me throwing my two cents in... I'm a genetic girl...my boyfriend is a crossdresser. I knew him for many years prior to our current romantic relationship. Try not to be sad. There Are women who will be not just understanding about the real you, but will actually accept it. The only advice I have is this: do Not make everything about the dressing. That gets boring very fast. Be honest, but also be careful to not set yourself up for rejection..meaning don't expect everyone will be cool with it.. Maybe take an art class or something...get out there and live your life...she's out there somewhere. :-)
I know how you feel, although it doesn't affect me to the same extent. I've been single over a year and it doesn't look like changing anytime soon, especially with where I live now, I still don't even really have any friends around here. it sucks and I get lonely but I guess feeling sorry for myself isn't gonna do anything, I know I won't be stuck here forever if nothing else.
Megan, I'm far from an expert and there has been some great advice given here already.
If you want to meet someone, you're not going to meet her sitting at home.
You're also not going to meet her if you come across as being desperate to be in a relationship. The GG's can probably give more insight here but I think women can sense desperation.
Just be happy to be yourself first, I'm sure you have some wonderful qualities. Embrace those.
Go out and have fun and take the approach that if you meet someone, great, if not you might meet her the next time.
Sarah.
Megan, girl you are truly not alone. I too crave a relationship with a female. Even is it is a gg who can just be a good friend and someone to talk to and hang out with. BUT as we all know by this point in time that it isnt just any women who can accept a cd in her life. So I put all the hoping and dreaming aside and if one day she comes along I think Ill know who she is. What ever you do dont dwell on it. Get out, have fun and live for yourself.
Erica
Hi Megan...
Much like Sarah said, you are not going to find anyone being at home and sad. You have to put yourself out there and attract people to you by letting people see that you are a charming happy person that people want to know and be around. When I was single before, I met my now ex-wife, I felt kind of socially awkward and did not have much luck with women. Now about ten years later, on my second single go around, I feel more confident talking to women, and men for that matter (I am bisexual as Vanessa), and I think that has helped me find more dates. Just be friendly to any woman you encounter, make them laugh with a little joke, get to know them a little and them you and before you know it you'll be going on dates in no time. And this doesn't just go for meeting women at bars, this could be useful at restaurants, grocery stores, pharmacy, the dentist. I am by no means Christiano Ronaldo in boy mode, the hunk Portugese soccer player all the ladys drool over, I am 5'6 and probably carrying a few more pounds than I should. But just a few weeks ago, after about my third trip in a month to the dentist, a little small talk, a few jokes and fun conversation, one of the dental assitants at the office wrote down her phone number for me on the back of an appointment card without me even asking for it wanting to go out on a date. I've also had this happen at Subway restaurants that I frequent for a quick breakfast. I go in there once or twice a week, get to know them a little, ask them how their weekend was, and before you know it it turns to "Hey we should go out for a drink". Just have a positive attitude, come off as a happy person and women will be attracted to you. Don't wait for them to come to you, you have to create the opportunity. Even if your not being friendly with the intent of dating them, if the conversation turns to you being single, they might have a friend or a sister they'd like to introduce you to if they think you are nice. Just be honest, fun and friendly and the rest will follow. Good luck.
Hi Megan,
I hear you. I would love to be in a relationship. I frequently find myself very envious of the ladies here that have supportive SO's; especially the ones whose SO's send them email coupons and links to sales and stuff(you know who you are)
I have been making a very concerted effort to become happy with who I am. I figure that if I truly like me, there is a much higher chance that others will like me.
That does a few things for me, and perhaps for you;
if I am happy with me, I am less lonely and spending time by myself is less of a burden,
I am finding that people in general are more attracted to me the more comfortable I become with 'me' and
my dressing is less and less of an issue - It just becomes part of the whole 'me'.
I don't have a road map or anything. For me, counseling has been a huge help.
I do hope your path gets easier. Hang in there and know we are there for you.
I am Me and Me is OK!
Shelby
Hey Megan Depression is no joke. Hope you get through this dark time quickly. MzVanessa gave great advice...it helps to be friendly, jocular, and confident. Put your best foot forward - girls have to want to be around you to be attracted. You can't force chemistry and if deep down you're feeling desperate you will give off that vibe and they will sense it. Don't get hung up on rejection either - some of the best pick up artists in the world still strike out constantly. Your goal in mind should be finding the best girl you can that appreciates your best qualities. Not every one will and that's not a reflection of your value as a person...Good luck...
I like Bernie's idea of joining some classes where GG's hang out. Building friendships are a great way to start a relationship.
Also, self confidence - this is a must. Many women can sniff out a man who lacks confidence. Watch an Alpha Male in action and you'll fast realise that looks and whatever are not what he has. He has a deep set confidence in himself and we love that! Anyone can achieve this, too, I think. I don't know exactly how? But knowing your self worth is surely the first part.
And yeah, figure out where the crossdressing is going, too. If it's a huge deal in your life you will likely struggle more than the guy who dabbles occasionally. As Bernie also mentioned, it gets boring fast. Indulge some of your other activities in a class setting, show off your newly discovered self confidence, and see what happens
I know your pain. I've had a few that have accepted who I am and what I do but not many. So for now I'm just doing my own thing.figuring out what I truly want and after I do that it should all fall into place
Loneliness isn't exclusive to CDs, a lot of people are lonely. Still, this is always tough. I went through it for many years. There have been some very good suggestions here yet often it feels futile as you go through life with this burden (sorry but that is often how it can feel). Being happy or self-confident when you don't feel that way never worked for me because I couldn't pretend to be different than how I felt; others can do that better than I ever could. Anyway, at some point, when things really seemed pretty bad, I just decided that my life is what it is rather than what I had always hoped or imagined and I was just going to accept it and go on - like it or not. Not long afterwards I met the woman who has been my wife for a long time now. Live your life, accept what it is and go forward. Be open to opportunities when they appear. Good luck
Hi, Megan.
I, too, know at least partially how you feel. I was married for nearly 10 years (a loveless marriage; got married for the wrong reasons). Last November, I met the woman I thought sure would be my new girlfriend. However, she doesn't accept my crossdressing, so I don't see a future for us. I've only been on dates with 4 girls ever. I haven't really, truly been in love since my first girlfriend (2nd girl) broke up with me at the end of 1996!
I know God has someone for nearly everyone. It just takes patience to wait for the right one. I hate waiting, so it is hard on me. This crossdressing/transgender thing puts more wrinkles in the mess, too.
Charlotte
My friend, I can certainly empathize, as i have been single 60 yrs now. I did a lot of dating in my 30's, and served others in many ways, but, I have had tozic shame all my life, have battled, gone to 12 step groups, and been on meds. I made the suicidal mistake, of quitting my business in Seattle area, and returning to my toxic family of origin, and the one nazi brother who is now out of prison, verbally attacking me just like 55 years ago, destroying the progress i made, to be well emotionally. Tinder bell, confidence is not always good. Serial murderer Ted Bundy, was very confident, and women fell for it! They are dead now. Hitler, Stalin, Castro, and many evil men had confidens. Is not a man, who has been beaten down all his life, yet keeps going, though he lacks confidence, but is very honest about the good, bad, and the ugly in his life, better, than one who exudes self confidence, but is hiding a lot, he does not want you to know???? Some men, CD or non CD, have been "taking it in the shorts", ground to powder, but keep going, trying to do good. Maybe not exuding self confidence, but honest, good hearts! i wish more GG's would awake to this. So many "nice guys" get rejected, and so many confident "jerks" win the women. But, later on, the true colors come out.
Yeah, it stinks. I can empathize, too. I've been alone for 20 years since me and the ex (fiance') broke up. I dated a "little" since then, but that was many, many years ago. I never met anyone with that "connection". Also, I don't trust my judgment very much anymore. My ex threw me for a loop. She did a lot of things behind my back and I wasn't any the wiser. I haven't put myself out there to meet anyone. So, the advice you have gotten is good advice. You need to put yourself out there. You can't meet anyone sitting at home. Are there any "singles" events in your area?
Megan,
Get out there, find a circle of friends socially and someone will eventually show an interest in you.
I find that projecting the interesting side of yourself does attract others.
Find some activity that others may find interesting and may want to take part in it with you.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
i would like to start a relationship with a girl who would accept me as i am. and then, try a crossdresser...
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