I've been trying to build up courage for a while. But as it turns out the circumstances often provide the courage for you.
I haven't really dressed in front of anyone other than my SO. I've been wanting to get more daring. And the last few times I was in a hotel, I've come close when ordering room service, only to throw something on over my fem clothes in the last second. I even go in the halls or onto other floors via stairs at night, to get ice or soda or a snack. And when I do, I partially don't want to be seen, but of course a big part of me just wants my fem side to be discovered.
That brings me to last night. I ordered room service again. I was wearing a LBD and when he knocked, I quickly changed into drab. After he left, I changed into a GORGEOUS flowery chemise, put on light makeup, and worked a little. Later I just passed out on the bed while watching TV.
I woke up at about 11:30 at night. I decided to have a little fun. I went out to get some ice for the warm hotel water. I put on some heels, made sure my makeup is right, and looked for ice. The ice maker was on a different floor, so I had to use stairs. It was a huge rush and felt amazing.
A little later, I went around looking for soda. I found a machine on the second floor--near the business center and gym. There was someone in the business center. So I quickly got a soda and started walking back to the stairwell. But I lingered a little bit and enjoyed the soda on a chair far enough that I couldn't be seen.
That's when the chain of events that started my first public outing started. The elevator dinged, so I knew someone was about to come out. I got up and ran towards the gym. And as I was running, I noticed the lady in the business center standing and looked like she was coming out. So I ran into the stairwell. I don't think I was seen, but can't be sure.
I walked up to the seventh floor, where my room was. And I went to scan my keycard to unlock the door to get from the stairwell to my floor, I realized I didn't have the key. And the panic started. I looked everywhere on me, and there weren't many places to look. Nothing. I walked up and down the stairs three times looking for it. Nothing. I realized I may have to go down the first floor and exit wherever the stairwell ultimately leads. That was a scary thought. But first, started on the second floor and tried to open every door--maybe I could sneak onto a floor and take the elevator down to the second floor. FINALLY, on the 12th floor, I found reprieve. The door wasn't fully closed and I could just swing it open!
Then I started seeing people. As I walked towards the elevator, a guy walked by me. I had nowhere to run so I just kept walking. He did a head nod and I did the same. Then when I was waiting for the elevator, a younger couple came into the elevators. I just stood panicked. I was just frozen hoping the moment would end. But just as the doors opened, she said "that's a beautiful nightie." That made my day! I just said thanks because that's all I could muster.
The couple pushed the same number as me. They were going to the second floor as well. As we were standing there, the guy asked where I'm from. That ended up sparking a nice conversation that eventually led to us talking outside the second floor elevator for a little while. I almost forgot that I was out in a chemise looking for my room key and trying not to be seen.
Finally, I got to the chair I was sitting in and didn't find the key. I looked everywhere I had been on the floor and couldn't find it. So finally, I just bit the bullet and took the elevator down to the first floor.
When I got there, a few people were in line waiting to check in. With my new confidence, I just stood in line and waited. There were some people sneering and commenting to each other. But a middle-aged woman who was in line in front of me made me feel better by asking me about my chemise. That led to a conversation about how I bought it. Like, did I buy online or at a store. She was curious to see how CDs shop. And as she left the line to go to the counter, she said "well, you look lovely dear." Made me feel like a million bucks!
Then I got to the counter. The receptionist was a cute younger girl so I was pretty embarrassed. I told her I lost my key and don't have my ID. She said she remembered me checking in and ID wouldn't be necessary. She commented on my makeup and said she likes how I pull off looking like a woman. As she was handing me my key, she just ended what she was saying with "I guess I'm just saying you look cute." I just retorted, "YOU look cute."
I was in heaven. I just walked back to the elevators. Shared an elevator with someone going up. Didn't feel a bit of anxiety. Just went up like it was normal. The next morning, I ordered breakfast and when room service came, I finally did it. I opened the door wearing fem clothes and was proud of it. After eating breakfast I went back down to the second floor to see if I could find the key now that I wasn't as anxious about it. There were people working out in the gym who could see me looking but I didn't mind. I finally saw it. It had fallen under the soda machine and you could only catch a corner of it. I missed it when I was panicked, but when I was finally calm it was very obvious.
All in all, it's a long story, but a huge turning point! I'm definitely not ready to come out to more people I know or go out locally. But I definitely think I made one huge stride, all in the course of one night that was all a result of a series of seemingly unfortunate events.
Seriously though sweetie you handled the whole situation with poise and grace while wearing a nightie. Sometimes it takes an accidently outing to realize there may be a few rude stares and giggles but for the most part people tend to be congenial or are just too busy with their own lives to take any notice.
