Do you wonder who else knows about "you?"

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

My wife knows about "me" for sure. So does my nasty ex-wife who told our children about Dad. At least they're fine with knowing I CD'd. And I've often wondered who else might know. Maybe a year ago I was in a conversation with my sister-in-law and she told me that a few in her family knew about me from the beginning when I started dating my wife. She was fine with it. She wouldn't tell me how they found out. My in-laws are great anyway. I suspect some people I once worked with definitely know. But that contact is no more.

Still, I find it unnerving at times when I might meet up with someone. I'm sure there may be some who don't care and don't say anything. I wasn't thinking one day and while my wife talked with her mother outside I walked out in my capri jeans and pink flip-flops. (In my mind -- Oh S---T!) Nothing happened.

So how do you feel about this issue? I haven't had any real problems over it except that it keeps me wondering, guarded, and defensive in some ways.

Cheryl

[Alice Torn]

Well, there is nothing you can do now. I am single, but accidentally left a thumb plug in at the local library in this small town, and someone has it, with thousands of my pics, and videos. There is nothing i can do now, so i quit worrying about it. However, if some folks in this town, and my brother, sister and dad found out, it would be very harsh. Nothing we can do. Don't worry.

[dana digs sweaters]

Who loves you?
Those are the ONLY people that will EVER matter.

[nvlady]

I am sure my ex-wife outed me to anybody who would listen, but nobody has said anything to me. Perhaps we now know who is liked and who is simply tolerated.

[Sharon B.]

I know for a fact that my ex-wife told everybody she could about me, but nothing you can do about it life goes on. There are some people and some friends that know about me but non have said anything about it. I don't dress or say anything to them about it. An ex-lady friend had made a comment to a friend of ours one evening, the question was if one of his kids or grandchildren wanted to dress as the opposite sex how would he behave. He told her if it meant that the child was happy and content with his/her life then he would accept it, he may not like it but it was the child's life and let it be. It wasn't the answer she was hoping for.

[Deedee Skyblue]

I told a friend years ago, and she married another friend, and I wonder if he knows... my brothers might know. I think my roommates in the late 80s knew, but I have never been sure. Some shop owners in Connecticut, who never knew my name, knew, but who could they tell?

Deedee

[stacycoral]

Well I know a few know now days, but I really don't care except for my teenage girl so she don't have to put up with it at school, high school girls can be so mean, so I try to keep it as quiet as possible, but I am still me and need my time in the sun. Yes it is a hard to always not do want we want, but when you have a family it is not always about us. If people look at me that is ok, but not if they give my kids trouble about it.

[Teresa]

Cheryl once you start to count up more people know than you think ! To say basically you're in the closet.
I would think more SAs know about me than the family, then I got outed by a commuter train and a horse rider !
As to how many know on and through the forum ! I don't know if there's a tally kept of members and viewing guests over a daily or weekly period?
If I'm confronted by it I know I'll have some tricky questions to answer but I'm not going to deny that Teresa doesn't exist I'm not ashamed to admit it anymore!

[adrienner99]

I have an ex girlfriend who knows. She found a photo of me dressed and I told her. She was fine with it. But I know she told her new boyfriend, which haunted me for years, because he and I had some mutual friends he could have told...but they both moved away a while back, and I have encountered no comments....

[Ressie]

Since I'm pretty much in the closet it's a good question. My ex has a pattern of getting into fights with all the roommates she's ever had. When she moves out, she tells everyone all the bad things about those roommates. I'm sure she's at least told everyone in her family and probably my family too. No one has ever confonted me, so I don't know. It's not something that I dwell on or worry about. But if confronted I would have some stress to deal with.

[Jenniferathome]

To me, this is like worrying about being hit by a car. Of course, it could happen, but I NEVER worry about it. I don't even think about it. Just not worth the effort to worry about such things.

[Nadya]

I wonder who knows about me all the time. I used to stress out about it quite a bit. I went to great lengths to conceal this part of me. When I told my girlfriend and she was OK with it, I started not to feel quite as worried about it. I often wear tights or pantyhose under my clothes and wonder if anyway has seen it as my shirt rides up in the back. Maybe someone could become suspicious why I don't ever take my shoes off when visiting a friend's house or wear shorts (either because I'm wearing tights or because I shave my legs). I imagine that most of my fears are just something I imagine and most people could care less about what I do (at least that's what I hope). The longer I keep my true self hidden, the less I want to keep doing it. I feel like I might not care that much if someone I knew found out.

[MissTee]

My wife knows. We have a second home a few states away. It is absolutely the ultimate chick mecca. Love it and we spend lots of time here. Pink, pink, pink and a more pink decor (tastefully done). So we're here in the second home and have friends from home coming over to visit here, and my wife if is so worried about the impression they may get. Our creativity is currently working overtime . . .

[shelley johnson]

Only my wife,beautician and make up lady know.

[Sallee]

No not really I don't broadcast it. but if people find out so be it. I see it like being in the closet but the door is open. It is certainly a headache I don't need

[Alice Torn]

I did make the foolish mistake of telling, and sending many photos of Alice. She said she would not tell, but NOT!!! She has told several people who knew me in that church, i was int then. It is looked down on as deviance. Nothing i can do now, and let them who is without sin, cast the first stone.

[Donnagirl]

I'm aware the number of people who know about me is growing outside of my control... Those that know are sharing, or like me accidentally letting slip the info...

Thing is, I don't really care now. So far I'm yet to meet anyone who has reacted badly but I'm sure that will happen eventually. What I have got now are plenty of people interested, lots of make up and fashion advice and the promise of a makeover and girls night out (on the proviso I don't look better than them!!!).

I am, however expecting some hurdles from work, but ultimately there is little to worry them. I don't doubt there may be discrimination, quiet whispers and name calling, but if I catch them at it... Well suffice to say our laws over here are pretty good.

[Emi_]

I think the cat may have found out. I'm not sure, but he gives me odd looks - usually around dinner time - and I'm pretty sure he saw me that day I was at the mall with my wife.

Seriously, I have come to a point - after 20 years of dodging shadows and bullets - where I don't really give a dingo's farts if anyone makes the connection. I'm not going to go on parade and declare myself to the world, but I'm not hiding myself. I come and go as i please how I please and if anyone puts 2 and 2 together it isn't anything to me.

[Requal Jo]

My wife knows and I do not know about the children. They once found out when I was underdressed. However, in the end, friends will not care and to "hell" with all the others. When they are talking about me, they are leaving someone else alone.

[Kate Simmons]

Don't care really. I'm sure all the Intel agencies know but don't consider me a threat. Even so I can still beat the best (or worst) of them playing UNO (inside joke).

[Desirae]

I'm sure there's some people that know about me. A high school friend and I were drinking one weekend evening when I was around 17 or so. He asked me about it, so obviously he knew about it already. I had had a few close calls when friends stopped over unannounced while in high school. Anyways, I "owned" up to it, but only to a limited degree. I'm sure he has told others over the years. After all, this was over 30 years ago. But, I never see him anymore. I have never been confronted by anyone I went to school with, although, I hardly ever run into anyone, either.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about some comments I have made in the past on here in various threads in regard to my ex and why we broke up. We had a LOT of problems and I've said that CDing was NOT one of them. Well, it really wasn't. But, I started to think about it some more and I do think now that she probably knew. I remember some "left-handed" type comments that I really didn't think about until recently. I bring this up because if she actually knew, and I think she did, well, then I'm sure that a lot of other people with whom I went to school also now know. My last ex's brother is married to the cousin of the best friend of another ex of mine. I'm sure it would have made it's way around. But, I never see or talk to any of these people, either, so who cares? There's nothing I can do about it.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Since I started this thread, and after reading what many have said, I mostly don't care anymore. I'm retired from the workplace, have a new circle of friends, my Mom passed away (God bless her, I think she knew and still loved me.) and I have limited contact with people. My neighbors wouldn't see me unless I stood by the road. Some I know would recognize my vehicle if I ventured out dressed. The people who would probably know I could give a $--t about. If they wanted to make my life difficult let them try. I have a few women friends who know and love me all the more because I'm honest and trustworthy with them. My wife treats me also like a sister. Just yesterday I spoke with another out of state friend who fully transitioned in her 50's. She's loving life! My nasty ex-wife can say all she wants and swim in her own crap. I think she's jealous because I'm happier and far more successful than she is.

There is another element that I find to be important. I've pasted a link to another thread that explains it:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t=#post3549305

Love your life! Who cares?!
Cheryl

[typhoidmary]

everyone who has ever clapped eyes on me in the last couple years knows. it's a good feeling

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

Isn't it funny how the ex's always tell your friends and family about your "hobby" thats what my ex-mother-in-law asked me about one day. Why do you wear womens' clothes as a hobby ?

[Genny B]

I often worried that if the wrong person found out I might lose my job. Now, I'm not so sure about that, and to go further I'm not sure if I did lose my job, it might not be a bad thing... yeah, I am sure some family know but they keep it to themselves, if they do know.

Genny B