Hey everyone! I'm new here and I would like to tell something I have never told anyone and I have not even thought doing so ever but I just cannot hold it in anymore so I hope you don't mind reading my little story. I'm a girl originally even though my parents wanted boys, I was raised in a girly way mostly. Though I think I always got along more with boys, I liked playing with cars and Yugioh cards and all that stuff, haha. I never really had a guy who I loved like that nor any guy confessed to me about liking me. Not because I don't look like a girl, I do. I'm just the type who is either too shy or act like another guy friend, I guess. To be honest as years went by, I always wished to dress like boys, I have had enough of girly clothes, I always thought of how guy clothes are so awesome and cool. But whenever I mentioned buying such clothes my mom would always point out that I'm not a damn guy so I should wear skirt and all the other things. I just don't feel comfortable like this, I feel like I got into the wrong body, I feel like inside I'm a male, not a female. It is not something I started feeling nowadays, it's like this for years. I thought this feeling will stop and only the hormones make it but it's not like that, I know it. I tried to get over it because I know I will never be able to come out normally. What's more I'm bisexual so I'm attracted to both girls and guys too. When I mention gays or bisexuals or crossdressers to my mother, how it is unfair how they are treated. She just nods then says '' Yeah, but it's crazy how many of them turn out to be that. Why do they have to come out at all? Cannot they keep it to themselves? It's not normal seriously. '' Yeah, my family is kinda close minded, not open at all. They don't know how it feels to be someone else. They want to be strictly like everyone else, doing things as it is expected from the society but I'm different. I'm not happy like this. I want to come out in reality but I'm scared, terrified. I can be strong at times but when it comes to family, everything they affects me majorly. They would hate me and I am not sure I would be able to bear the pain. I'm all alone here. I have one single friend who might not understand me either... I just felt so bad nowadays. I just wanted to tell this somewhere after long years. I might be weird for feeling like this but I don't want to think of being myself as being wrong... : (