My wedding to my present wife was all for her, so it was traditional. She promises me if we have a renewal ceremony, I can wear the dress.
I know enough to know I don't know enough.
Peace
We plan on doing some sort of vow renewal every year and kind of want a do-over wedding at the ten year mark (thanks to enough drama to make a hit movie the first time). At least once I might do it in girl mode, especially if I turn out to be as far along the transgender spectrum as I suspect.
For years I hoped I was just a CDer but now I realize I am transgender and that's alright.
I tend to agree that it all depends on your SO, but even so, it tends to be her day.
I'd love to attend a wedding en femme, but my own, or the renewal of vows would be a major stretch. Nice fantasy, but just that.
Much as it would be fun, I do not think it is the venue for 'coming out', nor simply even indulging in dressing up. Goes both ways, too, and here is why:
Actually, we did not even have a wedding. We got married. 25 years ago. We pledged to each other- no distractions. Nor did i give her a diamond engagement ring- I bought her a car, and then a condo. The condo appreciated, and we moved up. The car lasted for 13 years with no breakdowns. We invested in each other continuing education, and real items- not traditional baubles- rings, parties... The upshot is that now at 50, we own our single family home in a good neighborhood free and clear, own our cars (recent, higher end luxury /sport models) free and clear. My wife has 3 more degrees than when we got married, and is working on #4, I have close to a dozen degrees, certificates, and licenses hence.
Had plenty of other parties, went to plenty of others' weddings, and my wife never even got into the 'girl in a big white dress' thing, though she has lots of nice party gowns. Actually, for a while, she felt guilty about us not having a wedding, knowing i have a thing for bridal gowns. I sat her down and explained to her that it is essentially a fetish, not necessarily sexual, but not a deep need. The wedding is just a vehicle for the dress, in my case. Now she gets it. How could you possibly ask for anything more in a wife?
Wedding receptions or parties should be as fun as possible, but only if they do not stress out either the bride or groom. We married, took care of the necessities for each other and the relationship, then, after we had the means, celebrated. Going extremely strong at 25 years, yes we drive each other crazy at times, but i would not trade her love and friendship f or anything in the world. Statistically speaking, i was lucky to find her, and when you are given a extraordinary gift, you do not treat it as ordinary- following the crowd
I see bridal gowns essentially as princess or fairy-tale princess gowns. Fun to play in, looks a feels quite unique, makes a heck of a statement, and occasionally, gets one laid. But I think it detracts from the focus of the marriage, for either female or TG bride, along with the reception and even the honeymoon.
It's too much, and a huge let down. I know this is not a popular view, but it works for us. i do not even wear a ring. Aside from it getting damaged (i fix biomedical, industrial, and scientific equipment), I do not need it to remind me nor ward off other females. there is an old oriental saying that <paraphrased> "The best knots and ties are not made with any rope or chain, and therefore cannot be undone by any man."
That said....
If you wanted to hold a ceremony after the real marriage- (we had a small informal one, i did not CD) a celebratory symbol, party, reception, then YES by all means! Get and work that dress young lady! Have fun. Go ape.
For me, the mairrage is more important than crossdressing, much as I will never ever stop crossdressing- one must focus on the most important points first.
-kristin
Don't think it is such a good idea myself.
Even if your future wife to be was accepting of your dressing, your family and some friends might not be ready to see the Groom dressed as a Bride.
Kinda takes the focus of her a bit.
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Ive come out to my closest friends and my wife's sisters. We recently did a small wedding in Las Vegas with a ceremony with just six guests Neither of our were there but they know we are married. I got to wear the dress and be treated like a bride and she rented a tux and looked stunning. We are planning on having a "show wedding" for the rest of our families at a later date.
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My wife always tells me that if I would have told her before we were married, she would have expected me to wear pantyhose under my suit. I told her I wished I would have told her, I probably would have enjoyed that.
My wife helps me with makeup, helps me shop for clothes and is very supportive in general, but she probably would have stabbed me if I suggested that I where I dress to our wedding.
I haven't really had the full bride fantasy that strongly, and I know my SO wants a man next to her. I may ask for some time somewhere within the honeymoon etc.
I did not even touch on the subject when i got married even thou my wife knew about my CDing .To me it was her day and that was the least i could do for her ..Even thou 2 years after we divorced she sold me her wedding dress for 100 dollers .Sadly it did not fit very well
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
I'm getting married on Halloween and I plan to wear a wedding dress, if I can find one cheap . Either way I will be in a dress of some kind.
My husband & I got married in the courthouse last year, with just us & immediate family. I don't think any of them knew about his crossdressing at the time. I wore a dress, he wore slacks & a nice shirt. It was a lovely little ceremony.
This November, we'll be having our big wedding. I will be wearing my wedding dress, he will be in a tux or other such ensemble, but I wouldn't be surprised if he wore panties underneath. :-)
We'll be having another wedding in another year or so, a much smaller one, & he will be the one in a wedding dress, walking down the isle to me.
I think we both deserve to have a day being the bride. A big party full of friends & extended family might not be a comfortable setting for my husband to announce this part of himself, but I would be proud to walk down the isle with him, both of us each other's beautiful bride. If coming out to family weren't an issue, that would be ideal. :-)
If she agrees to a second ceremony - fine. Otherwise stop being selfish.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!