Spirit,
Welcome to the forum. (I already posted on another thread of yours, because I hadn't seen this one yet).
There are so many names that will fly through here and experiences. Don't let it overwhelm you. The FAB and SO forums will help you get much more oriented that most of us ever could, since there are quite a few people there that have gone through similar things. Get on there and start reading up.
None of the stuff you've said sounds like nonsense to anyone here, because these issues are somewhat common.
My advice is tell him what's important to you, without making it big issues. If he's as uncertain as he sounds he is, any small hiccup will be magnified in his perspective. It could explain some of the odd things he's saying. Encourage him to try to figure out how to express himself (give him time to do it too), and make sure you get your time to do the same.
On this note, every girl needs compliments. Since your one of the few people who knows, your opinion will matter to "her" quite a bit. Don't forget that just as you need to feel that your man still loves you (which is by no means an irrational or unreasonable request), he needs to know that his feminine side doesn't shatter your world by itself either. I know how hard that must seem with how complicated everything else is. Still you'll eventually see why this last part is important IF you get that far.
The last piece of advice I can give you is to seek counseling. You're both probably have grievances, and things you need to figure out so therapy can really provide both of you with a safer forum to figure it out than with each other where things might be said that can't be taken back. Even couples versions can help bridge some of the gaps in the two completely separate ways you two will approach each specific new subject.
