Originally Posted by
SassySal
... Surely readers here can draw their own conclusions about what is being "perpetuated" by those who shared their own painful experiences. I would also be interested in your thoughts on the Penner/Daniels tragedy.
Originally Posted by
Kaitlyn Michele
no way..
Oh, I'll take it up. I would sort these out as follows along the general lines of the OP.
Rene Richards - Not applicable! As Rianna said, Lynn's site perpetuates Rene's regret myth, if unintentionally.
Dani Berry - My category 3 best fits. She was, by her own admission, more an intense CD and an autogynephile. A TG (i.e., not TS) transitioner with clear, life-long gender conflicts. My bells go off about the applicability of the spectrum concept here.
Sandra MacDougall - Category 3 again. Lynn's conclusion is that she is an intense CD, autogynephiliac, and seems to focus regret on sexual issues first and social issues second. TG transitioner again.
Samantha/Charles Kane - You're kidding, right? I CITED Kane as my category 1 example and a bunch of others cheerfully tossed him under the bus in this thread also.
None of these are TS transition regretters (Rene is TS but did NOT regret her transition).
Not so hard, was it? Their own words tend to almost make them self-sort. Just about everyone in this thread has had no problem expressing their views on transition regret and detransitioners. Except you, Sal. Are you willing to post yours here and now or not?
Just for ya-yas, I'll pile on some additional opinions of my own as they bear on regret and detransition risk. This is from a pre-transition perspective, so please keep that in mind. Some of this is pretty obvious stuff, but bears repeating.
. Misplaced priorities are a source of regret. High risk of outright regret or, minimally, ongoing conflicts, manifest when the alternative priorities inevitably make their entrance. Intense crossdressing is a typical driver. It's real, it is intense, it is a priority. And intense CDs that transition are asking for it ...
. Self-delusion is a source of regret. Dawn inevitably breaks. Regret is a certainty. A competent therapist plays a key role here (a point you - Sal - made yourself elsewhere). This is a topic worthy of its own thread, as it segues rapidly into spectrum concepts, the role of a therapist in TS vs TG gender clients, misunderstandings of psych practice and concepts, and some community culpability (as I see it) for undermining the role.
. Sexual motivation is a minefield for regret. I believe Kaitlyn is correct in her frequent assertion that sexual manifestations of GD (my phrase) is not the same phenomenon as sexual motivation, alternatively, that one can truly be TS and need to transition despite sexual issues. That sex (including autogynephilia) is the primary driver for many regretters, however, is obvious. Lack of honesty is probably a more applicable concept here than self-delusion, but it doesn't help that sex is a culturally charged subject, which probably leads to hiding and minimizing.
. The distinction between TS and non-TS regretters is a critical point of the OP. Whatever the need a non-TS may have for transition, it is NOT congruence. Do I need to judge the non-TS whose transitions fail (a troubling point to many responders)? From the standpoint of clarifying congruence need for TS and *thereby* making the ongoing case for transition medical support, YES. Are some cases tragic and sympathetic? Sure, but keep in mind that the regretters and detransitioners themselves are the ones typically making the points! THEY think the lesson more important than sympathy, even to the point of throwing themselves under the bus! (My category 1 types blame everyone else, but they are the minority.) A secondary point is that the advice and support that TS can and should offer should be based on the difference. It usually is, and is common to see remarks prefaced with "IF you are TS ..."
. Isolation increases risk. Online "support" only or primarily IS a form of isolation. TSs stress reality. IF you think you might be TS, one of your first orders of business is to meet TSs in the real world.
. Every step on the path affords additional insight and the opportunity to stop. There is much that could be said here. I'm going to focus on self-responsibility. Like many, I believe the path is heavily self-correcting, which is manifest in the low regret rates. As a result, I also believe there is an ever-increasing level of personal responsibility as one continues down the path. Most TS accept this as a matter of course and would have it no other way. It also puts the burden of transition failure squarely on the detransitioner, whatever others' contributions along the way.
Lallie
