Were you destined to become a crossdresser?

[Julie Gaum]

First I would like to tell Freddy that I'm happy to see her --- thought you had fallen off the edge of the world (Or was that theory debunked some 500 years ago?). Never thought you had joined forces with Gov. Perry who last week proclaimed for all his followers ro note that being gay is just another addiction that one can shed if you put your mind to it.
In 59 blogs and many more to come I've assembled theories along with just plain opinions, from professionals to CDs like you and me; of chromosomes, genetics, wiring, imprinting, chemicals, the trigger, H. Benjamin Syndrome to some environment factors and all of them are both valid and not depending on the recipient. Point? I've no more ability to pick and choose than you do whether you really believe it or not. Nevertheless, glad to see you are back stirring the pot again --- missed you.
Julie

[Desirae]

Frankly, I agree with Wild for the most part. Once that connection is made, its there forever. You can still exercise your free will and remove yourself from the CDing, but the connection is still there. If you dress again, I would bet that your connection would be "refreshed". Also, I don't really see a higher frequency of male heterosexual sex canceling out a CD influence. I think people can have multiple sexual proclivities, some at the same time, some at different times. Some may even wane for a while and come around full circle later in life. We have all read the stories from members on this forum highlighting the diversity of this CDing phenomenon. There really shouldn't be any great mystery here regarding that. No one knows the why of it.

I think one of the biggest things that everyone, including myself, fails to remember is that clothing, or more specifically, what type of clothing is to be associated with which gender, is a decree of man, not a divine decree. If there wasn't this man-made decree, none of us would be crossdressers, would we? So, how could it be destiny then for any of us to be crossdressers?

I don't know if my brain was washed with too many female hormone when I was in the womb, if my mother (or father for that matter) "wished" that "I" would be a girl during procreation (mother and/or father), or if my mother wished I would be a girl during gestation, or if my father's lawyer's exclamation to my mother of what a beautiful little girl I was ended up going into my ears and making a connection when I was an infant, or if my sister secretly dressed me in her baby clothes when she babysat me while my mother was at work, or if all of the hours of cartoons that I watched when I was a toddler had any effect on me becoming a crossdresser. Chances are I'll never know. We'll never know.

But, I submit that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because, for better or for worse, it is who I am. It is a part of me. It's part of my identity. It makes me who I am. If I take that part away, I am not me anymore. Without it, I become someone less than me. I lose something. I don't feel whole. Something will be missing. I don't really want to know what it would feel like to have a part of me missing. Do you?

[Mia27]

I believe that things worked in a way to help shape my crossdressing. My mom was the head of the house hold, i have 4 sisters and 1 step brother. I always saw my sisters get spoiled and have way more fun than i did. We lived on a ranch so i was stuck doing all the work most the time. i didnt mind it, i loved being the manly man and doing everything. But my dressing up really started a long time ago. When i was about 4 my sisters would dress me up and video tape it for fun. We had a box full of girls clothes, from dresses to tu tu's. It was so fun!!! i remember being excited at all the options and wigs and dresses. I was told to stop when i was around 7. I never gave it another thought. Till i was about 10. My older sister and i had the two rooms downstairs, her room was right next to mine. I remember walking upstairs and looking over, her door was wide open. I saw a pink thong sitting there, for whatever reason i wanted to try them on. So i did. And it took off from there! I then started stealing more and more clothes. Whole outfits! I would fantasize about being dressed up completely as a girl with my sisters and doing all the stuff they did I then stopped dressing up around 13, no idea why.
I still had urges from time to time, but never acted on it. Then i turned about 15, dressed up a few times, couldnt help myself. Then stopped again. Didnt want to risk getting caught. I did find one of my old staches though. I dressed up and it felt so wonderful!!!! But i didnt dress up again till i was 19. I told my girlfriend about it and she said i could do it if it was right for me. She wants me to be happy and always lets me dress up when i need to i can now pick out cute outfits (i wasnt so good at that before), i do all my own make up. My girlfriend says 1 to 10, 1 being super hideous make up, and 10 being as good as she can do haha. She said i was an 8!!! im doing great now im almost completely passable. I wouldnt change who i am. Im coming to terms of who i am All thanks to my girlfriend and some of my friends who know. I guess you could say its destiny... but i'd say i was pretty much born this way. Crossdressing makes me a more open person, and gives me a perspective of what women have to deal with (clothes, and make up, and getting ready). And how much fun it is!! im so happy with the way i am

[SusanaO]

I'm quite the logical type, so I don't believe in destiny. I would say for those of use who have taken upon crossdressing ourselves from a very early age, our brains are wired in such a way that allows us to be very into femininity. Are you very detail oriented and sometimes (or all the time) think too much about things of little importance? Yeah, me too, and I also love looking like a woman.

[hazel]

I believe once you start loving something, its not easy to give up on it. You can forget it for some time, but not forever. Same is with me for crossdressing which I started several years ago as a teen and stopped for a couple of years. Trust me, now am back with more passion towards crossdressing than I used be.

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Destiny is a fuzzy concept without much merit. Like you Freddy, I am a firm believer in free will and I believe that we make choices about our behavior, sometimes consciously and sometimes not.

But whatever mysterious genetic or environmental processes have defined my ever-evolving neurophysical state of being has created a lifelong desire to crossdress and to express the feminine side of my personality. I have no control over that fundamental desire or that craving whereas I do control if I choose to give into it. That’s not to trivialize those people that have a gender dysphoria so strong that they have to do something to resolve it or else live a miserable existence of feeling in the wrong body.

Like many here, the existence of the crossdressing architecture in my mind became apparent at an early age. I remember very clearly (at a young age I don’t remember exactly but it would be around 1960) the moment I first heard about men called transvestites that at that time were associated with dark and sleazy places called “homosexual bars”. Well I knew immediately that I somehow had a strong desire, maybe even a “need”, to be a transvestite and if I ever came close to that behavior I would embrace it. That moment, unfortunately, began a decade’s long internal struggle to resist that desire and deny its existence driven by the influence of the society around me.

I contend that if there is any so called “destiny” at work, then we here folks are destined to not be allowed to freely crossdress and live a life of mediocre drabness. It’s only through our sheer willpower and determination that we can swim against the strong current of conventional behavior and be the crossdressers we need to be, whether in public or private.

So, no, I was destined to not crossdress, but somehow I managed to anyway!

Hugs,
Stephanie