Mistakes CDs make.

[BethanyAnn]

Great list, Candice!

[tammie]

Add one more , many CDs want desperately to show off that they are wearing womens clothing often at a bad time or to people who dont want to know about their

"proclivities" altho we think of it as a hobby or cute non conformist little tick , they often dont care but feel it is too much information.

[StephanieR]

Wow! What a great list! Just became part of my CD Bible.

[HelenR2]

Surely one of the worst must be posting a video on Youtube with your back to the camera, hands flat against the wall and shaking your butt. That always makes me cringe.

[Tiffany Jane]

Love the list and if I had only had that box for storing my stuff six months ago. In process of reacquiring items to wear, as I fully dress only at home. Realized as I was throwing out everything, that I was one flirtatious looking cder. Surprised me when asked by my wife about it recently, Where is your little denim skirt. Had to come clean. With her support I have accepted this part of me a little more.

[victoriamwilliams1]

It is a good list however each person has a different environment. For me this is not know to my spouse and is not no longer a hobby, this is who I am. However my situation for not coming out is not the same. Being of the black race this is not a thing you can spring on anyone in your family lightly. The black american couture is a ALPHA male dog eat dog world where you may have a few who accept you in public however if it was their child they would not be so accepting. In our couture it is a feeling that the black man is endangered and for this I tend to stay out of predominately black communities for my safety.

Now the rest of the list I can agree with however because some of us have moved past the "hobby" stage that is the only change I would recommend to be a bit more inclusive with those of us who consider ourselves pre-transition. Now for those just starting this journey this list is helpful.

One of the important items is not having your make up color matched is important. You have to do this twice BTW! Summer and Fall/Winter.

also

Hose must complement your skin tone or accent an outfit.

[susmitha]

Good and relevant advice.

[charlenesomeone]

It is a good list however each person has a different environment. For me this is not know to my spouse and is not no longer a hobby, this is who I am. However my situation for not coming out is not the same. Being of the black race this is not a thing you can spring on anyone in your family lightly. The black american couture is a ALPHA male dog eat dog world where you may have a few who accept you in public however if it was their child they would not be so accepting. In our couture it is a feeling that the black man is endangered and for this I tend to stay out of predominately black communities for my safety.

Now the rest of the list I can agree with however because some of us have moved past the "hobby" stage that is the only change I would recommend to be a bit more inclusive with those of us who consider ourselves pre-transition. Now for those just starting this journey this list is helpful.

One of the important items is not having your make up color matched is important. You have to do this twice BTW! Summer and Fall/Winter.

also

Hose must complement your skin tone or accent an outfit.

Great advice all around, morally and technically

[antonia_bee]

All good advice, but I would guess we have all been "guilty" of these in the past. And there should be no shame in that. We all have to start somewhere, and plenty of "real" girls make many of the same mistakes.

[lexivanderpump]

IMHO, you just described the same "mistakes" that women/females make too. "I guess its a girl thing." The feedback is appreciated.

Love,
Lexi

[Talisker]

Great advice Candice !
- If you don't want to get huge amounts of attention dressing you age, body type and situation seems the most important. Keep the fantasy for the bedroom.

[Diana1517]

TOTALLY AGREE 😉😉😉😉😉
The same mistakes 😊😊😊😊

A great point, one that many miss, thinking that all CDers have the same objective to pass, blend in public, appear indistinguishable from GG's. It just ain't so. Many of us dress for reasons other than blending. If that's the case, one by one nearly all of those "non-judgmental suggestions" (HA!) are shot down. If the list had been prefaced with "mistakes CDers who want to blend make", most of the suggestions are pretty good.

[Margot Emerson]

Certainly lots of good advice here. Like most of us, I've guilty over time of many of the no-nos. One thing that I found that helps immensely is to learn to be a good observer. In my case, I've learned a lot by watching women's mannerisms. Even something as simple as crossing your arms. Someone told me to cross my arms for a photo pose, and it suddenly dawned on me that the only cross armed pose I knew made me look like Mr. Clean in a dress. So I made a point of watching to see how women cross there arms. I guess little by little, we add to our skills.

[Megan Thomas]

Kudos to the OP this thread. Great list, so true in so many ways too. People no more have to read it or be swayed by it than they have to read some of the more questionable personal (voyeuristic in nature) posts that also appear here, so well done for writing it and if it bothers you or it doesn't apply to you then just move on to the next thread surely?

While I agree that we're all on a learning curve, those of us who are transitioning and don't have role models or friends/partners to help guide us, a list such as that can be an invaluable resource. I was particularly surprised to routinely come across transitioners attending a major gender clinic who clearly would have benefited from the advice in it. It beggars belief that the NHS (UK) after funding expensive procedures such as psychiatric sessions, voice coaching and surgery why the clinics don't offer basic life coaching sessions to help avoid simple mistakes - especially as the consequences can have real impact on the confidence and possibly mental health of the person.

So a little live and let live perhaps? We all need support and we all give and get it in different ways...

[Maria 60]

Pretty good list, look like you covered most of the main issue. Very good well thought out.

[cassandra54]

That's a pretty good list. I would disagree somewhat about the placement of the wig in relationship to your hairline or where it used to be. Having it down just ever so slightly gives you a shallower forehead and is just more feminine. The key word is slightly. If it touches your eyebrows, then it is too low.

Pictures. Right on. I keep mine on an SD card in a private place. Also delete your browsing history every time you leave the house.

Purging. You're right. It does cost a lot of money. I've resisted the urge to purge. It leads me to new outfits that I never thought of. Usually I don't wear new clothes when I get them. I wear something that I've had for a while first.

As far as clothes that don't fit right, bras that show through, stripper heels, padding, etc. I would have to agree with a few exceptions. Like wearing a black (solid) black bra with a white top is kind of sexy and something that GGs too.

Under dressing is something I would agree with. I either dress all the way or not at all. INMHO, I think dressing completely is far more acceptable than to see a man wearing a bra under a tee shirt or something like that.

Overall it's a good post, which leads me to my last and final point. I dress to blend, not to stand out. I try to look cute and sexy, but not over the top. Stripper heels are not for me. The most important thing about blending in is not to look too perfect. I see GGs all the time with messy hair, or hair that is just not perfect. Their makeup is not always great and sometimes they don't even have any on. And not all women have curves, and nice butts. Some women don't have much of a figure at all.

I will close by something I saw at Target years ago in the lingerie department. "Find a fit that flatters."

[carahawkwind]

-General photography, take pictures in clean uncluttered places and clean the mirror if your taking a selfie.

I do this a lot more than I should but I'm always very conscious about doing it when I am. I have one series photos I took like this, but last in the series is me holding a bottle of windex in front of the much cleaner mirror. I think a lot of it is because my living situation I always feel rushed with my dressing and don't feel like cleaning even though I know it will make for better pictures.

[Natasha1974]

A great list, and I have been guilty about things in the past on there too.

[Samantha_Smile]

It's no secret that I'm guilty of a few of these.
I think we all are - nice satire

[Mia Brankovic]

Hi Candice;
All good points...and the whole idea behind 'fitting in', is NOT to stand out.

Sometimes I push the envelope to far to the edge? However, Mia's public rules are to remain under the radar. I haven't been out yet...I'm figuring baggy jeans and a turtle neck (lol)...thankful it's not summer!

Ciao Bella,
Mia

[wiwaw]

Wonderful input all!

[Mia Brankovic]

Upon considering this point further: I have one possible solution and one personal concern.

A solution: If applicable, go out with your SO and/or friends, have them catch some/most of the attention. Have your cohorts wear the nicer, risqué, slightly more provocative clothing. Thus, in effect: 'jammin' the radar'.

I have yet to play with Make-up application: I'm really interested in the tips, pointers and pitfalls. Would one of be kind enough to point me to that thread?

Make-up application: tips, pointers and pitfalls...I'm also interested in the length of time it takes (quick job & photo finish)

Thank you,
Mia