Does everyone over analyse things?

[Badtranny]

Well, that "first time" for me was when I first crossdressed back in 08/09. It was a mind altering experience for sure. Scary as hell too because I finally began to realize not only the 'problem' but the 'solution'. Man that resolution took a few years didn't it? LOL I came back here when I began my transition in 2010 and I have changed a lil bit since then. ;-)

The social aspect of the transition was emotionally difficult. I knew I was gonna be okay when I stopped making jokes about BEING a man and started making them about LOOKING like a man. I'm tall (5'11") I have big feet (11), a giant face and head, broad back etc. and I no longer try to minimize those characteristics. I just own them and make jokes. Me and the girls have so much fun laughing at each other and ourselves and it's extremely cathartic. As it turns out, women who have no idea about my history have the same issues with their body as I do. Four of us were nearly crying the other day when I made a comment about my hairy legs and how I had to prep for wearing sandals by shaving my toe knuckles. (toe fros, fro knuckles, etc.)

ALL women hate their bodies in some way or another, Tall women want to be shorter and short women want to be taller. Skinny girls want a bigger booty and curvy girls want to be skinnier. We are all striving for the kind of perfection that barely exists in our imaginations much less in reality. So you're tall. I have a penis. So what? ;-)

[Nicole Erin]

I read an article yesterday and it was painfully true. The world does not care who you are, it cares only about what it can get out of you. Your personality, gender, looks, etc, none of that really matters.

If one insists on worrying about looks - the only time that even matters is when it is a young, hot woman.
You think anyone notices or cares about some TS woman's masculine attributes? Not likely. Even if they do notice or "knew as soon as they saw you", people just don't care. No, all they care about is, "what does this person have to offer?"

Few TS have the chance to be a young, hot woman so what does it matter?

[Kathryn Martin]

Few TS have the chance to be a young, hot woman so what does it matter?

What about being an older hot woman. I have a great deal of problems with this notion that older transitioned persons cannot be attractive physically. I have every chance to be an older very attractive woman, and I do what I can to make it so. I am not eighteen, I sure as hell do not want to be 25 again or even 35, but as a 60 year old woman I very much like to be attractive, sexy and interesting. It is part of who I am. So it matters a great deal. Quite frankly ( and I say this with all respect) one of the worst problems that transsexed persons create for themselves is that many if not most have no idea how to dress (invariably your skirts are too short), have no idea what works for their body type (go and google it), prefer limp straight long hair (get a well respected hairdresser who has some creative sense to give you and age appropriate hair style), and use too much blue eyeshadow. It's atrocious, and not for one minute excusable.

If you over analyze, then for God's sake over analyze also in a positive, constructive way. Guys will always be satisfied with a "will do". So if you are not a guy do as women do and make sure that you turn yourself out as best you can. Over analyze your body type, your dress options, your face shape, your hair options, your make-up options. Look at women that can be your role models in this regard, not some 18 year old ditz. If you are 56 when you transition like I was, Nicole Ritchie is not your role model, but Helen Mirren can be.

[whowhatwhen]

What if your role model is KD Lang?

[Kathryn Martin]

Then KD Lang is lovely role model if you are in your late 40s but not Katie Perry.

[becky77]

My role model is my wife and she is 17 years older than me.
Looks way younger though.

[MsJulie]

Yes...I certainly over think things...My mother used to say "you sure think hard about everything" and that is certainly still the case. I do believe most people are so wrapped up in their own lives that what we do has very little effect on them. We would probably be disappointed to learn the small amount of time they spend thinking about us. You seem like a sweet girl. Milton Erickson taught how everyone is different...so being different is no different than anyone else....and in reality you are now closer to who you have always been. I agree most things are in our own mind. I certainly have my share of insecurities...but there a many lovely tall women...and you are one of them. People come in all shapes and sizes...a gg friend of mine lectured me about that recently...to not get hung up in patriarchal nonsense...

xox

julie

[Kathryn Martin]

My role model is my wife and she is 17 years older than me.
Looks way younger though.

And your wife has absolutely no body issues? And what does she do to deal with her body issues? Those are the questions that need asking. I am a strong advocate to go as far as you can without surgery, to make sure that you learn to dress the body you have not the body you dream of. If in the end there are surgical procedures that might bring you an edge that is wonderful and of such value. But to start with them is not giving yourself a real chance. And in those circumstances surgery outcomes might become very frustrating. I have gone as far as I can without surgery, and I am an attractive, beautiful 60 year old woman. Some day in the next two years I might get a BA.

[lingerieLiz]

I have two gg friends and a relative that are over 6' tall women. They went through a lot growing up and being a foot taller than their piers. Your picture looks fine. If I didn't know what to look for I would never have noticed. As for your ex ask her to not tell anyone in the future. Who cares? The other night I saw a gg that was six six and beautiful. Girls today have bigger feet. Feels nice to have a gg tell me she wished she could wear my shoes.

[LeaP]

... If you are 56 when you transition like I was, Nicole Ritchie is not your role model, but Helen Mirren can be.

At the rate things are going, I may have to start emulating Maggie Smith.

[becky77]

And your wife has absolutely no body issues? And what does she do to deal with her body issues? Those are the questions that need asking. .

Of course she does, loads. And I help reasure her like she does me as I said I need to separate what are typical female hangups from the trans ones.
As for body issues I wear clothes that accentuate my best features and avoid those that don't. Eg my waist is good so I never wear anything baggy that will make me look boxy, my legs are good but I still feel better in jeans day to day.
I especially avoid anything with those tank top type straps, the wide ones, as they really emphasis my shoulders. Capped sleeves seem ok, in fact most sleeves are ok.
A-line skirts can balance out my shoulders but I feel they are a bit prissy or too young, pencil skirt style works best for me. I look awful in shorts especially seeing as I have nothing on my hips currently.

To be fair to myself its still early days and I'm living this dual life currently, which is draining and not allowing me any regularity.
All things considered I believe I'm doing pretty well, but its good to explore my feelings on here as I learn a lot from some of the answers.
I would say about 8/9 months ago I was a total wreck, all over the place, I started dating men I believe because I needed the validation, I wasn't thinking straight my relationship was over etc etc.
I'm in a much much better place now, especially since the hormones they seem to have really balanced me out internally. I'm still married and although we are kinda split we are getting on brilliantly, its surprising just how much I have changed in the last few months alone (mainly in my thinking).

My brother said on the phone this week my voice had changed it was softer.
He thought it was the hormones but I guess working on my voice is having an effect. I said I'm still the same person just look different, he said no you are different and I was intrigued.
His answer was that I am calmer and more open and easier to talk to, most of the above I wouldn't put down to hormones except the calmness. The rest I think is a direct result of being myself, having nothing to hide and just being.

Oh and a really good thing happened in the last month, my nephew (he is 5) has accepted me.
He knows exactly who I am and can't understand why I like 'girl stuff' but he went from looking at me strange and saying nothing to now asking to speak to me on the phone and wanting to know when I'm coming around next.
I was very careful around him, not pushing it upon him but we spent some time together and like a switch going on he just decided I was ok.
I can't say he accepts me as a woman, but he accepts me as a person now.

Oh as for surgery, mainly a trachea shave and hair transplant.
SRS for me is probably about 4 years off with NHS. I think about FFS but I'd rather not if I don't have to.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Becky, You appear to be a beautiful young lady, Stop beating yourself up.

[LeaP]

OMG, body issues. Heavy legs, wide shoulders and broad back, large head, (lack of) hair, perpetual need for weight control, etc. On the other hand, I have small hands, smallish feet, hips and waist (alas, no rear to speak of), and I'm relatively short, at 5' 8.5" (174 cm).

Still ... I would prefer FFS and trach out of the gate. The rest I have to deal with.

[Nicole Erin]

If in the end there are surgical procedures that might bring you an edge that is wonderful and of such value. But to start with them is not giving yourself a real chance. And in those circumstances surgery outcomes might become very frustrating. I have gone as far as I can without surgery, and I am an attractive, beautiful 60 year old woman.

Yeah you do look decent. It is an honest look.
Oh gyod though you are not kidding about surgeries! A lot of TS who have too much money and not a lot of sense tend to go overboard. OK take Calpernia Addams. THAT is going overboard. Some TS get God knows what procedures and I always think, "THIS is an improvement?"

Another one is Taylor Dayne. She is a GG has-been singer. Cute lady back then but she got too much surgery and now looks like an over-butchered TS.

[Kathryn Martin]

A while back we posted before and after pictures in Safe Haven. The pictures of those that fully transitioned were astonishing how far people can get without massive surgery.

[becky77]

On the other hand, I have small hands, smallish feet, hips and waist (alas, no rear to speak of), and I'm relatively short, at 5' 8.5" (174 cm).

So you can buy shoes in any shop, wear heels without being a giant, have nice hands and can wear clothes with a cut to show off your waist. I'm good at being positive about other people .

Hi Becky, You appear to be a beautiful young lady, Stop beating yourself up.

But i'm so good at it!

A while back we posted before and after pictures in Safe Haven. The pictures of those that fully transitioned were astonishing how far people can get without massive surgery.

Done that lol, however it's just makeup and hair. Going to be several years before I can show you the effects of hormones, so far the only noticable effects are in my head.
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-Mode-V/page37

[LeaP]

So you can buy shoes in any shop, wear heels without being a giant, have nice hands and can wear clothes with a cut to show off your waist. I'm good at being positive about other people .

I'll take it!

Yes, I can buy shoes anywhere. I don't like heels. I can usually find something that fits my feet, though most places carry primarily medium widths, which forces me up a half-size.

While my hands are small (medium glove) they are otherwise just okay. Not particularly fine or slender or anything like that. Just smaller than most people's, I guess. Skin is soft, though.

Fortunately, I like what looks best on my body, so not too much of a struggle there.

[Kathryn Martin]

I wear heels. I have size 12. There are two stores that carry over and undersizes - Naturalizer and a local store with some nice designer shoes. I love heels and wear heels daily to work. I am a regular size 16 for dresses and tops so I buy in almost any store, I wear size 12 pants and skirts, underwear medium, regular bras etc. Shoes and pants are my problem though - pants because they need to be 37" inseam. There is one online store where I buy my pants.

[LeaP]

37 inch inseam! My God. Mine is 30 - there's most of the height difference right there.

[Kathryn Martin]

I should qualify that 35 inseam is ok for flats and sandals but if I wear heels... well, 2/3 of my height is from the hips down. When I sit I am no taller than any regular woman. So legs clear to my armpits

[Megan G]

- pants because they need to be 37" inseam. There is one online store where I buy my pants.

37 inch inseam! My God. Mine is 30 - there's most of the height difference right there.

I feel that pain very well Kathryn, I have a 36" inseam. I am lucky though as the one store online that I buy a lot from also has a store locally so if they do not have my size I can order online and pick up in store.

Megan

[Kimberly Kael]

I should qualify that 35 inseam is ok for flats and sandals but if I wear heels... well, 2/3 of my height is from the hips down. When I sit I am no taller than any regular woman. So legs clear to my armpits

... whereas I'm the exact opposite. When sitting down people assume I'm at least six feet tall, but I'm actually 5'8". I'm sure it's part of the reason I prefer skirts and dresses to pants – I can more effectively create the illusion of leggier proportions when you can't tell where they end!