Big and Beautiful

[Brianna_H]

(I hope this is an ok place for this post, as I only have limited access right now.)

I dream of a future where science and technology will let me have the figure of Rose McGowan. Even Matrix style Virtual Reality would be awesome. However, in the real world I'm a 5'9" 300 lb. dude. All my beauty is on the inside.

Yes, I know losing weight is the best thing I could do for my beauty and health. I've been heavy since I was a little boy. I'm working on it, but in the meantime, I love myself and still want to look and feel as gorgeous as I can.

I spent many years loathing myself for being "fat and ugly," when the truth was that I just wasn't around the right people to nurture me and help me love myself. After all that time, I realized the main person who despised me was ME. Meeting new people helped. Reading Dreaming the Dark by Starhawk helped me learn to love myself (literally ). Now I refuse to let self-loathing rule me anymore.

I'm interested to know if there are other "plus sized" cross dressers around here. It's much harder in our society for overweight women than overweight men, due to beauty standards, etc. Some people can't deal with cross dressing to begin with, so a fat cross dresser must really have some guts to go out. Any personal experiences to share?

It would also be great to hear any beauty (or other) tips that pertain particularly to CDing while fat. I have pretty decent boobs for a guy. I used to be so ashamed of them when I was younger, but some supportive experiences helped me get over that.

So, the highlights:
* Experiences of being fat while cross dressing?
* Fears, horror stories, pain that needs to be expressed?
* Beauty tips for big and aspiring to be beautiful?
* Personal development stories or tips?

.ps If any heavy GGs out there have stories, pain, or insight to share, please be welcome.

[Julie Denier]

Fat chick right here, hon! I'm 6-2 and around 300#, down from 365 two years ago. I'd love to lose another 50# or so, but it's like beating back the ocean with a broom.

But being a big gal hasn't kept me from dolling up and feeling pretty. There's plenty of cute outfits available for full-figured gals. (The bigger problem for me is the shoes - I wear a women's size 14/15.) Plus, we have a little extra "fluffiness" to manipulate with shapewear to create a few curves.

I'm mainly a private dresser, but did get out once recently, with a forum sister of similar proportions. We went to a T-friendly venue on her turf and had a blast.

As far as tips - just try to pick a hairstyle and clothing that suit your shape and play up your feminine attributes. It's been mostly trial and error for me. There's plenty of info already out there online and on this forum that should give you the guidance and support you need to enjoy your femme side!

Good luck and have fun!

Julie

[DonnaT]

5'9" and been out at 284 lbs.

Confidence is key. Hair and makeup that suits the face helps as well.

I rarely wore a dress out, mostly skirts and tops, sometimes a jacket or other item covering the top to hide the arms.

[Allison Chaynes]

6', 270. All I can say is that Lane Bryant and Catherine's love us, and thrift stores are great, too. A plus? Well, my wife can wear some of my clothes, and vice versa. I echo what Julie said about shoes- I wear a 13W in women's, and never fund shoes outside of Payless.

[Brianna_H]

6', 270. All I can say is that Lane Bryant and Catherine's love us, and thrift stores are great, too. A plus? Well, my wife can wear some of my clothes, and vice versa. I echo what Julie said about shoes- I wear a 13W in women's, and never fund shoes outside of Payless.

For most of my life, I've been a very frumpy guy. I barely make the dress code at work. Now, all of a sudden I'm fascinated with shopping for clothes. lol Your comment about Lane Bryant and Catherine's gave me such a thrill! I haven't done ANY shopping ever for drag clothes and now I want to very badly. Crazy!

[Andi1979]

I will throw my hat in the ring...5'8 210. So us BBW can stick together.

[Tracii G]

I have been a bit over the 250 range and that never stopped me.
I'm only 5'5 or so so you can imagine I was pretty portly.
I had to pad the butt/hips to offset the big belly but thats how it works.
Everything else is normal to any CDer find the right clothes and do the best with what you have.
Here is a pic I think I was around 230 in this pic.

[Brianna_H]

I have been a bit over the 250 range and that never stopped me.

Thank you SO much for sharing your stats and the photo. It helps a lot. I know I'm never going to be a beauty queen, and I'm more of a casual dresser. This is inspiring.

I used to have awesome, shoulder-length, curly black hair when I was young. These days I have to sport a dude-cut, but I have my eye on some wigs...

[Nikki A.]

Almost 6 ft 275 ish and wear a size 20-22 dress. Still do go out dressed among the muggles. There are women who look better than me and some look worse, the biggest thing is to find items that flatter your body.

[Princess Grandpa]

I just received a wedding gown. I tried it on and it's just beautiful. It's in no way slimming however. I can really see how large I am. If I could drop just two or maybe three dress sizes so many cute outfits would become available. My wife and I like to dress like twins. Silly but it's our thing. It would be so much easier if I could get out of the plus/women's/extended sizes.

Sometimes my size gets me down. I'm working on it but I have a long way to go. There is a real movement for large women to embrace their bodies and love themselves as they are. To understand they can be sexy not despit their weight, but they are just sexy. While I work to drop the inches I try to keep myself in that mind set.

Hug
Rita

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

Well, I guess i'll throw my hat in the ring. I'm 5'8" and 240 (mostly in my belly), I have wide shoulders. For my shoulders I have to wear a 24-26 dress or a 3x blouse. Many years ago, they didn't really have nice outfits for us larger gals, but they are getting much better. I mainly underdress and stay in the house ( we live in redneck/ hillbilly country) and I figure I drive for a living so don't want to come in to the house and drive 80 miles to the city. My wife and I stay home and do our thing. As the other ladies said, hair style, confidence and clothing can make it easier to look good.

My wife is 4'9" and weighs in around 190 and is constantly being flirted with (great ego boost I can tell you). But she has confidence and an outgoing attitude.

All I can say is practice and keep trying.

[Allison Chaynes]

For most of my life, I've been a very frumpy guy. I barely make the dress code at work. Now, all of a sudden I'm fascinated with shopping for clothes. lol Your comment about Lane Bryant and Catherine's gave me such a thrill! I haven't done ANY shopping ever for drag clothes and now I want to very badly. Crazy!

I can tell you from experience that the sales associates at Catherine's haven't batted an eye when I've asked for bra fittings or help finding something advertised. And I live in the Bible Belt!

[Genny B]

As long as my makeup doesn't make me look like Mimi from the Drew Carry show....



Genny B

[docrobbysherry]

I know quite a few "big girls". It doesn't seem to stop them from getting there and having fun.

On the other side is the results of a study I read in the LA Times the other day. Over weight folks live 7 years less on average.

And, obese folks 14 less! I care because I lost a very close, big friend at age 59. So, please don't kill the messenger.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am also fairly large, and I never let it stop me for dressing and going out. I like big women too, so it never really bothered me; I think the big woman I see in the mirror is quite attractive, that others find her attractive, but I do.

[Badwolf]

I'm not that large, but having been involved with some of the Queen community here in Orlando, there is actually some envy for larger gurls. It provides more fluff to make curves, and it makes it easier to mask musculature. Slimmer queens that are convincing tend to have unusually lean muscle mass, and skinnier bone structure. There is also some more dependence on hip padding at all times.

Of course there's still the Queen's who just don't care and come out looking like female weight lifters but it all works.

[RADER]

I am not a petite person either. I am 6'-2" and 330 lbs.
Yes I wish I could lose a bunch, so I could get into one of those
rely pretty dresses.
As others have stated, Romans, Lane Bryant our are best friends.
Rader

[Beverley Sims]

Brianna,
There are a lot of big, beautiful and nice cuddly sized women around.
I have a wife like that and sometimes she envies what I wear.
There is a challenge for all find the right clothing an dress appropriately.
Even I have to do that.

[donnalee]

I had ballooned up 230 on a 5'7" frame about 5 or 6 years ago. As a person with an extremely stressful & hostile work situation, my own health issues and an SO who was suffering from Alzheimers', it was all I could do to keep dancing. Food was one comfort I had and I overdid it. Normal weight was around 140-50 and had been as low as 120 at one time. I am down under 190 now (still too heavy but working on it) but the type 2 diabetes I was diagnosed with has disappeared, my total cholesterol is just above 100, so is my blood pressure.
This is not meant to be a criticism of how anyone chooses to live their lives. I would be the last one to be judgmental; frankly, if I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. One of my sisters literally ate and hospitalized herself to death; she had a doctorate, 5 masters, spoke 14 languages and had been an associate professor of Greek at one point. She was also one of the few people who I could hold an intelligent conversation with and I miss her to this day. I never argued with her about her weight; it would only have estranged us, but am still conflicted about whether I should have tried.
Please use care; I wouldn't like to lose anyone here.

[CynthiaD]

I'm a size 18 myself. (I don't care to give weight and height, it's too depressing.) I'm down from being a size 22 at one time. Sometimes I drift up into the size 20 range, but I'm trying really hard to stay at size 18 and below. I'd love to get down to a size 12, but I don't know if I have the will power. When I complain about all the pretty stuff being too small, my wife, who is a size 10, just says, "Yeah, tell me about it!" The grass is always greener I guess.

[Michelle James]

I too am a "big'un" size 30/32 on a good day and yet I never looked at myself as frumpy, dumpy or ugly. Others might think so, but that's their problem. As Gabriel Eglasias says "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy"

[lovetobedani]

This is a perfect thread for me. Right now I'm 6' 285#. I'm trying to drop weight but as far as I can remember I've never been much lower than 225#. I have broad shoulders so separates are the best way for me to go. I'm a 24-26 top and a 20-22 bottom or a XXXL. I find that empire waist and A line skirt/dresses work the best for me. I would love to be a more feminine size 10-12 but that's never going to happen. The one saving grace for me is that I've a size 11 for woman's shoes and there seems to be a pretty fair selection.

For me part of feeling feminine is to be able to find pretty lingerie in my size. It's a lot better now but still difficult to find the really cute and sexy things in my size. Most look like dowdy to me. It also seems like shorter hair styles look better on me than longer.

The best places to find clothes for me have been, Layne Bryant, Catherine's, Avenue, Romans, and Just My Size.

I'm still very closeted and have never gone out en fem. It's important to me to be able to pass and that will most likely never happen. My hope would be to find some true friends to socialize in real life with sometime who are like me.

[Michelle_NY]

6ft1 and 240 lbs here too. I adore big girls like us too

[AllieSF]

Ladies, thank you so much for all your honest input into this thread. I am glad to see that you are so proud and doing the best you can with what life and maybe genetics have dealt you. I am a petite one, but have always thought that a lot of heavier MtF girls can actually have an easier time blending in and passing because as someone said above, the facial lines are normally much smoother and with makeup very convincing. Thanks for starting this thread.

[Brianna_H]

Thanks for starting this thread.

You're very welcome. I love this community already. There's some hard truth here, but also a lot of compassion.

Since many people have commented that heavier gals may have an easier time passing, I want to share my recent experience. I hope this is not TMI.

I've been heavy since I was little. For most of my life I was SO mortifyingly ashamed of my chubby man-boobs. I never swam without a t-shirt, was miserable in gym class, and struggled with weight and body image. Even after the indignities of high school were over, it was always an issue. Some of my male relatives made a habit of patting my belly or tweaking a nipple when they saw me, knowing I'd never be "man enough" to punch them in the face.

Anyway, fast forward a few decades. After a TG awakening and a shave... I love my boobs! Can't wait to go for a waxing (yes, I know it will hurt). It's such a huge shift in attitude toward loving and accepting myself. Yes, I still need to lose weight, but now I'm motivated by hope, instead of shame. Maybe I'll need breastforms eventually, but for right now....

As a guy, I barely care what I look like. Crossdressing has given me hope and helped me to smile at the person in the mirror, finally.