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Thread: If a cure existed...would you still be you?

  1. #1
    Member Adriana's Avatar
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    If a cure existed...would you still be you?

    Hi Ladies,

    This question has most likely been brought up before, but I have a different thought on it. Today, I was pondering what life would be like if a cure existed for my CDing and my answer was surprising. After much thought I determined that if this part of me didn't exist, then who I am now would cease to exist . One of the things my wife has said to me in the past is how much she loves me for me. This brought to the forefront how I'm made and why I do the things I do. For example: I've always loved picking out clothes with my wife, painting both our nails, talking for hours about any given subject, sitting on the sofa and wanting to cuddle and share a good romantic movie. I love, I laugh and overall care about the people and things around me. Though, this might change forever if I took out the CDing part of me, which in turn could change my current course in life. Just wanted to share this thought with everyone.

    Hugs,

    Adriana
    Last edited by Adriana; 07-15-2014 at 08:30 PM.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
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    Adriana, I'm curious as to why you would need crossdressing to be the person you described in your post?

    And as for my H, I don't think he would change much, to be honest, as he's always just him regardless of the clothes and what he thinks are feminine mannerisms. (I imagine only Pamela Anderson behaves the same, lol) I also doubt he'd take a cure as he enjoys crossdressing too much, despite all the hassle with us.

    Would I slip said cure in his evening beer?? Ha, what does everyone here think!

  3. #3
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    While i definitely get the gist, i would say there is a cure. Society's acceptance. If we were truly free to dress and act as we wish, then no "cure" would be necessary. Our expression would be seen as part of a spectrum that it is. And therefore no part of ourselves would be lost.
    But in keeping with the spirit of your question: no, i would not accept a cure. This side has been tremendously beneficial for my own personal growth. Therapy may have helped, but then i wouldnt get to wear those awesome heels.
    It sounds as if you and your wife have a great relationship. It truly warms my heart to hear it. Too few are content in their relationships, kudos to you.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Don't drink the beer! Seriously, 40 years ago would have consumed the whole keg for a cure. Now, maybe am finally at peace with it all.

  5. #5
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    Why find a cure for something that needs no cure. Cross dressing is not a disease,
    no "Pill" will change it. So just enjoy it.
    Rader

  6. #6
    Member Adriana's Avatar
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    Hi Tinkerbell,

    Its not the clothes, or polish, or heels or wigs that make me who I I'm. As I'm a multifaceted individual with many different experiences and enjoyments in life and if I happen to remove any one of those experiences or enjoyments would I change? I believe I would change, which to me would be a tragedy, as the reason for who I am is based on my life experiences and enjoyments.
    Last edited by Adriana; 07-15-2014 at 10:11 PM.

  7. #7
    Member lpjamey's Avatar
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    What... I didn't know that anything was wrong that I needed a cure for. I'm really messed up! Crap
    ​Jamey

  8. #8
    Member Adriana's Avatar
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    Hi Rader,

    This post isn't about trying to find a cure, but instead more about self reflection on would you change as a person if "cured"? My answer is: I would be devastated if I was cured....I love who I am and so does my wife.

    Hugs,

    Adriana

  9. #9
    Member Cara Lacey's Avatar
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    No cure for me... Thank you very much. I truly enjoy crossdressing, and I have never thought of it as something I needed to address... I just want to dress. 😎

  10. #10
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I think what you are describing is being a full spectrum person like I am. I enjoy both sides and love to dance en femme. It's part of my mode of expression and I also consider the CDing itself an art form. Do I need it to be myself? Not really, I can enjoy my guy side just fine now that I've made it a total choice to do or not but I have fun with it and that is what makes it worth the effort, even though lately I've been considering putting it on the "shelf".
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  11. #11
    Member devida's Avatar
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    You know there are still plenty of institutions dedicated to finding a cure for homosexuality despite the loud condemmation of these pseudo medical approaches by the AMA and the APA. Cross dressing has to do with gender, which along with sex and sexual orientation are core identity issues. The deplorable history of the oppression and persecution of people whose sex, sexual orientation or gender do not conform to the norms of the majority suggest that there is a fundamental error in even imagining that a pill or any medical procedure could ever affect these issues without serious damage to the person given the pill or procedure. Of course I am not saying that people with gender dysphria should not be able to avail themselves of medical gender modification. I am just saying, with rader, that cross dressing is actually normal behavior within the spectrum of gender behavior among human beings.

    There is this strange kind of Stockholm Syndrome among some cross dressers where they believe the opinion of the oppressive and truly ignorant majority, of the people who want to eliminate them, that cross dressing is somehow aberrant behavior. It isn't. It is the attempt to suppress it that is abnormal.

    So, you feel like fantasizing about a treatment for cross dressing, go ahead. Even some black civil rights leaders when the skin creams that bleach skin became available (and are still very widely used today, especially by brown people) thought that whitening their skin would solve the race issue. Look how well that worked.

    It is a curious modern disease that we want to run as fast as we can from who we know ourselves to be. It is so weird!

  12. #12
    Member Adriana's Avatar
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    To me its not a condition or a disease, its who we are. I believe we we're made this way for a reason. Its engrained in us, in our DNA, in our very person. If it was removed we would cease to exist in our current form, which for most of us would be "death" itself.....

  13. #13
    The non-GG next door.... Candice Mae's Avatar
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    My gender doesn't change who I am, no matter how I look I will always be me. If you change based on your appearance are you not just acting and portraying a character based on your ideal of what femininity is when you CD.

    If your CDing was "cured" you would be online posting on another forum based on your interests not reliant on your gender. Whether it be sports, automotive, cooking, gardening....

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Jenny Gurl's Avatar
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    You cannot change the desire to crossdress without changing the rest of who you are too. They are one and the same. Years ago people who were very violent were given lobotomy's to try to reduce their violent tendencies. The side effect was a person who had no emotions, no motivation, and basically became a vegetable. I hear a lot of members use the term "like a woman" and that term is really inaccurate since there are as many variations in women as there are in men. Our language has adapted the term Feminine to describe a person who is more like the girly girl female and although it might not be the perfect description, it seems more accurate to me. I hear a lot of people describe the urge to dress like a woman, yet a large percentage of women these days wear drab jeans and sneakers. I believe some behaviors are linked, and you can't eliminate one without eliminated the linked behavior. If we were to have "the blue pill" available to reduce or eliminate our feminine traits, we would likely lose a lot of other linked traits we would want to miss. I don't want to be reduced to normal, I would just prefer society quit judging us by century old beliefs.

  15. #15
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    I am always - me. Dressed, undressed. I am who I am regardless of my appearance.

  16. #16
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    My dressing is often, but not always, somewhat...fetishistic. So, as I once put it to a SO, I often wish I could exchange this kink of mine for something that's easier to share with others. My dressing and interest in feminine activities has not ever brought me closer to anyone else, as it apparently has for some other posters. I am who I am, and I realize that I will always feel a desire to dress up in girls clothes. But to use a common experience as an example, I've "tried on" this kink, or foible, (or whatever), and it "doesn't fit" the rest of my life. If I could "go back to the store" and trade "it" in for something else, I probably would. However-if I had to give up this habit of mine, only to have NOTHING replace it, I'd definitely keep my habit. It's just too mdarned much fun.

  17. #17
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    If I were borne in India to different parents in the 17th century would I still be me?
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  18. #18
    Member Adriana's Avatar
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    Who knows KimDl93 you might be.....but then again you'll never know. This thought was to stir self reflection and the idea of if a part of you changed would you still be you?
    Last edited by Adriana; 07-15-2014 at 09:50 PM.

  19. #19
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    I've said it before that if CDing was somehow taken "out" of my being, I wouldn't be the same person. Something would be missing, whatever that something is. It's always been a part of me and has shaped my identity over the years. It's not the same as having a debilitating disease that is a part of you or a terrible addiction that is a part of you. It goes to your being and I truly don't want to be someone else who is not me in totality, wholly, and completely. Maybe there was a time when I would have embraced the cure, if there were one, but as I've gotten a little older and a little wiser, I realized that just being me is quite OK, actually great, because it is who I am.

  20. #20
    California Dreamin Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    I think I would. Even before I started x-d'ing a few years ago, I was pretty much the same person as I am now. That being said, it makes me happy to dress and I would miss it if I couldn't do it at least once in a while.
    Michaela


    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush

  21. #21
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I think if I could do something other than my own free will that would change my brain or what it is to stop I do think I would. As a person of faith I do think to some extent I do have a sorce to help but as I said I also understand my free will so it's a great thought and question that we all must think about for sure.
    I don't think it would change much for me as a person if I wasn't a CD though

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member MelanieAnne's Avatar
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    Been cross dressing since...ummm, maybe 12 or 13. I've always enjoyed it for what it is. I've never purged, or considered transitioning. I just enjoy the dressing, photos, feel of the clothes, etc. I have put it on the back burner from time to time, when the urge went away temporarily in a new relationship. But it always comes back, and I know and accept that. And I'm not about to throw away any of my "stuff"!

  23. #23
    Member Jeninus's Avatar
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    To Adriana's point, I think that cross-dressing is such a major part of the make-up of who we are, that if a cure existed - and we took it - we would be entirely different people, and perhaps not for the better. Probably for the majority of us, CDing does little to enhance our relationships with our SOs (except for the lucky few). And CDing is not something we boast about to our parents, siblings, children or our oldest and dearest friends - so that would be a burden lifted. But would we be better people if "cured?" Hard to say, really. In Adriana's case she may be the best spouse her wife could hope for and probably most of us are among the most gentle of husbands. Of course, being a CDer makes it hard to be a male chauvinist pig when WE are the ones wearing the skirts in the family!
    Last edited by Jeninus; 07-15-2014 at 11:10 PM.
    Shame on those who think ill of us -- Translated and paraphrased from the motto of the United Kingdom's Most Noble Order of the Garter

  24. #24
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    I've often wondered what it would be like if CDing was not part of my life.
    But I really enjoy cross-dressing right now.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  25. #25
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    I think cross dressing is just a symptom of who I am rather then an end in itself. To remove my need to be a woman sometimes would be to remove part of me. that would make me a different person.

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