I really appreciate all your comments. And Eryn, I am impressed by your homework!

My apologies for being somewhat obtuse on this. Let me be more specific:
1. I have a job offer that allows me to choose one of two locations in California. I've topped out at my current job (but I don't really care) but for a number of reasons, that job is devoid of passion....I want to feel the passion again. The new job offers a chance to get in on the ground level and build a group (and the company). I didn't seek this opportunity out...they came to me.
2. My wife has stated that she will not move nor temporarily relocate. She says this is because she just found a new full-time job after 2.5 years doiing temping. She may reconsider in a year. My kids are on their own (though they do not have families), 1 2 hrs away, and one 7 hrs. I am not selling my house at this time (for a number of reasons).
3. I currently live in a small suburb of a fairly large city. My current commute is about 10 min (if I obey the speed limit). It's about 10 minutes to my Mom and 15 to the nearby large city. I can walk to farmer's markets, grocery, and restaurants.
4. I am not the best with crowds nor heat
5. For this move, I've considered a strategy of "live one day at a time". Most of my live has been heavily planned but I'm afraid trying to do that will severely stress me. Besides...it's good practice for retirement.
6. I don't feel the need to be stealth with this move. There will be no one to tell me that my boobs show through my top and no one to try in vain to convince the waitress that I'm not a woman every time she comes to ask how "you ladies" are doing. The job is one exception...my reputation is as a guy so that's how I was hired: at least for the beginning, the job will need to be stealth. My wife considers me "a he/she". She is convinced I will go "off the deepend" and will meet another girfriend or "he/she". She says this "matter of factly".
7. There are lots of interesting coincidences in conjunction with the timing of this opportunity and related things in my life. It's almost like I'm being guided. Or maybe I'm interpreting that.

So yes, perhaps there is some fantasy in this. But I think this is much more complicated than a trivial assessment. I say I am not running away, that I am attracted to opportunities...but the truth is probably a mix of both. I do feel this is an opportunity I should not pass up.

I really appreciate all the comments, suggestions, and challenges. This can be life-changing so any input is welcome.

-stephani