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Thread: developing lady like mannerisms

  1. #1
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    developing lady like mannerisms

    I'm very new to this though I have been wearing lingerie on a regular basis for years.

    I've done a lot of research and can see how we as males can dress the part with clothing, make up padding etc.

    But how do we develop those characteristics that just come natural to those that are born female? I'm talking about the animated hand gestures. The smiles and and touching they do with each other. Those of us born male don't act that way naturally.

    How do we take on those characteristics believably?

  2. #2
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    If you've ever watched the Karate Kid movie, practice, practice, practice the moves until they become second nature.
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    Junior Member Betty Jean Blose's Avatar
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    A very interesting thread....I have been mentoring through local LGBT groups this very thing...for males conflicted with gender identity issues. Mainly for males in transition, but with a lot of hard work and practice good results can be achieved. Just how serious are you?

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    Charlotte Allison Morris NavyM2F_WAM's Avatar
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    I also want to learn to act like a lady in every way.
    Charlotte

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    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Observe, observe, observe, then practice, practice, practice!

    When I was first going out I was very conscious of every mannerism I had. As I have gained experience I find that I learn quite a lot by interacting with other women. It's a natural way of learning new ways of interaction.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

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    There are various guides out there to help you with deportment. I really liked the Lady Like Deportment with Paula Jordan Sinclair video that was popular many years ago (though it is a bit dated now, it is still very useful I found.)

    Bear in mind that mannerisms may vary depending on your generation. My mother's generation feminine mannerisms were more distinct from men than is the case for GGs today (my mother of 68, who grew up wearing only skirts and dresses, will sit differently than an 18 year old who has grown up wearing pants for example.)

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    Go out to the mall, any store, or any venue really, and just watch closely how women move and conduct themselves in RL situations. Listen to how they say things and the words they use. There isn't just a one size fits all thing. All women are different so there will be a range of different feminine behaviors to pick up on. Practice a few at a time that you see and gradually add in more and more. Practice at home in front of a mirror and eventually try a few in front of people maybe with a cashier at a grocery store or a clerk at a gas station.

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    Member Nadya's Avatar
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    I agree with everyone else here about spending time observing women. Don't be a creep about it but listening to conversations and mannerisms can do a lot to help you learn it. Definitely pay attention to those in your own age group as acting your age will help you blend in well. Getting a feminine voice is important too as it can be a dead give away that something isn't right. If you practice things like that, it will become second nature. Once you start acting like a woman, it may be hard to stop Good luck!

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    Member Kevyn53's Avatar
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    When my wife and I did our big trip to the big city, I was breaking in a new pair of sandals several days before, and she noticed I had a bit of limp wrist action going on. She called me on it and asked if I wanted to be a woman or gay. I answered a woman, and she told me the limp wrists looked too gay.

    The one joke thing I saw once that actually works was Gallagher, the comedian, made a joke about heels vs cowboy boots. They're frequently the same height and the only real difference is women walk with their elbows in and cowboys walk with their elbows out. He'd walk in heels, elbows in, out, in, out. And it showed up big time. and it works.

  10. #10
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by sissy_jamie
    But how do we develop those characteristics that just come natural to those that are born female? I'm talking about the animated hand gestures. The smiles and touching they do with each other. Those of us born male don't act that way naturally. How do we take on those characteristics believably?
    Just magnify what is already there, or be aware of how much males suppress for the sake of their gender role. If you can become aware of the cage you’re living in, you can escape and let the gestures flow freely and naturally…

  11. #11
    I like to look pretty Prissy Linda's Avatar
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    Those of us born male don't act that way naturally.

    How do we take on those characteristics believably?

    I dunno but for some of us it does come natural, I've seen pictures and videos of myself where I do display feminine mannerisms quite naturally. I have also had serveral people comment on certain gestures that I display that are rather feminine without trying.

  12. #12
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Jamie - I doubt that just wearing lingerie will help you develop any innate feminine mannerisms (though it might be fun trying... )

    All these mannerisms are learned - take the most extreme example of feral children that have grown up with animals, they have no specific mannerisms related to human gender, only the animals they have learned to interact with. Humans are social animals and develop a detailed understanding of body language from a very early age through the adults and other children that interact with them... These mannerisms can be relearned and retrained - as others have said here, observe and practice - repeat as much as you can...

    I do think we as a group tend to place so much emphasis on what is overtly 'feminine'... If you observe many females you will find a lot of stereotypical feminine mannerisms but you will also find behaviour and mannerisms that fall into a more masculine area - there is a big mix of styles outside of the stereotypical. One area I think is of benefit is just reducing or minimising the overtly masculine gestures or postures we use - that can make a big difference, I think...

    It's a big charade really...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  13. #13
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    If you wear the right clothes, you will be amazed how feminine your mannerisms will become. There is only one way to walk in heels, one way to sit down and stand up in a miniskirt, etc.

  14. #14
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Jamie. As many have said observation and practice. A few hints though . . . when observing in a public venue do so covertly as nothing goes bad quickly as a creepy guy staring at women going about their day. Stay stationary when observing (i.e., don't follow women around the mall . . . again creepy). Don't stay in one place too long staring at women as it may attract security's attention. Last but not least, do not station yourself outside of women's restrooms when observing. So enough about how to observe. As to what to observe . . . everything . . . walk, gestures, how women carry a purse and shopping bags, how women manipulate objects (e.g., phone, purse) when walking, sitting, talking. If your intent is to blend (very few of us truly pass as women on close inspection) then gestures and walk if done correctly will aid in that aim.

    Last hint . . . what Katey said about over emphasis on gestures/walk is bang on. When I first started going out and using more feminine mannerisms (walk, gestures) I had a GG friend critique me and her number one critique was that I over emphasized all the time . . . especially the walk. So I learned to make the movements much more subtly and naturally. Over emphasis looks forced and out of place. It is okay to put a bit of sway in your walk but strutting like a fashion model on a sugar high in a mall will get you clocked quite quickly.

    Just my two cents.

    Hugs

    Isha

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    I also find that when dressed certain female mannerisms come naturally. In fact even as a man I tend to be a little 'camp' as they say, although I suppressed it a lot, not always successfully. No need to suppress them when dressed as a woman.

    But they are learned. The only thing I would say is not to exaggerate too much. Like trying to walk like a supermodel on the catwalk. That just looks ridiculous.

  16. #16
    Member traci_k's Avatar
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    As others have said, observe and practice, practice, practice. Eventually it will become natural.

    hugs,
    Traci Melissa Knight


    To thine own self be true
    When the student is ready, the teacher will appear

  17. #17
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    You don't have to go to the mall to observe women, you can watch them on TV. The trick is to figure out what to watch for and what is different about female "mannerisms".

    Think of yourself as an actor and learn the part of a woman.

  18. #18
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
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    I find it helpful to search the internet, looking for tips on developing those mannerisms. They provide a good summary of the things I look for when observing, and good advice on evaluating my progress.

    Best wishes
    MsVal

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    I just watch old movies with Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, and Ingrid Bergman...and I get more tips than I can ever emulate!

  20. #20
    Junior Member BethanyAnn's Avatar
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    Jenny - you and I have done the same thing!!! Those three are my role models, but I also learned alot from my mom and two sisters.

    Bethany

  21. #21
    Careful I bite <3
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    Especially if you want it to come more "naturally" in interaction, the only real solution is practice.

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    I find that being feminine and having a more witty personality comes to me when I get dressed. It's no lie to say I like Darly more than I like me.

  23. #23
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    Hi Jamie, It's amazing what you can learn just setting where a lot of women are and just watch and learn.
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    When I dress the fem gauge goes full steam. I try not to walk or move as a man. Heels kind of demand that you walk with a bit of attitude. Also try to perfect the art of picking something up of the ground with 6" heels and a tight skirt when your overall height is hitting the scales at well over 6'. Its a challenge without having your man part parachuting to freedom.
    But its all about subtlety. Watch women you admire (we cant help watching them anyway) and how do you explain to the SO that you're not having a perve at some hot looking chick, just admiring her movements and style. "Darling I am just taking ideas for my next cross dressing session" Fine if your SO knows, not that easy if she doesn't.
    Ta ta for now girls (sorry ladies)
    Amanda

  25. #25
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    Hi Jamie,

    I don't know if you're married or not, or if perhaps you have a close GG friend, but just watch what they do and try to copy it. That's what I do. I just (in a general sense) try to notice what, if any, differences there are between me and my wife. The way she stands, sits, get into and out of cars, all those little mannerisms when she's on the phone or interacting with other people in person. Just be quiet, observe, and notice the difference ... then try to consciously incorporate those differences into what you do. It takes work but it is do-able.
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

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