If you truly believe in yourself, you can accomplish anything you want to and we are really only limited by our own imagination.
If you truly believe in yourself, you can accomplish anything you want to and we are really only limited by our own imagination.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Roller coaster ride for sure....... the only question for me is, "DO I want a back car or front car for the ride!"
Amanda you took the words right out of my mouth. As a GG with a curvy figure I see cute outfits all the time that I hope will work on my figure. I can't begin to count the times I have left the dressing room in complete frustration because I just couldn't make it work or realized I went up a size and end up going home with nothing. This seems to happen, without fail when I need an outfit for a specific occasion, have something and mind, and when I try it on it just won't work.Originally Posted by Amanda M
I can pass along a tip or two - shapewear really does help. The downside is it gets hot. Also, different bras can completely change your profile. I have certain bras I wear with certain out fits. If I wear bra B with outfit A it doesn't look as good as bra A does. Even with brest forms that don't change shape the way real breasts do, the bras all sit differently in your chest.
Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your attitude and level of self-acceptance, no matter how you feel on the inside you are a male body in a an article of clothing designed for a woman's physique. Yes, there is a fraction of men who can pass - usually very slight frame, and probably look better in a dress than I do! The rest of us, and I mean the GG's as well as CDers who aren't 5'9", 115 lbs. with legs that go on forever need to accept our bodies and do the best we can with what we have.
Amanda M.
Actually the first time my husband and I went shopping we went out to have lunch (us alone on a date - doesn't happen often). We were visiting and conversation went towards me and not wanting to shop and about his first experience trying things on - he found several things to try and I made him go into the dressing room and try them on. I'm a bit of a cheapsake and didn't want to spend money on things I knew wouldn't work. He only purchased one of the MANY items he took in there. He asked me about how I knew this would happen. Well I'm on the overweight side (for most of my life) and I HATE shopping even more I HATE trying on clothes - for me this has been the case MANY TIMES and even when I do find something that fits I don't like how it looks on. It is actually a very emotional issue for me and one I have had to deal with seeing my husband being able to buy things that I can't (not really jealous but just envious I guess).
What shocked me was that he never knew how I felt he was always a bit annoyed when we did go shopping before cuz I need an outfit for say a funeral or something. I would take FOREVER finding something I was happy with - WELL now he knows - It's not a fun feeling either but it was really nice to discuss it - I guess that is something that I do LOVE about the CDing is how we can talk to one another. Now by that I don't mean as girlfriends - I DON"T like the whole other persona thing - but my husband has a more emotional side and he is easier to talk about things and listens more and just lets me vent sometimes instead of that natural male impulse to FIX IT.
Anyway back to the rollercoaster - I wanted to add I see some of you saying you wane back and forth on your own acceptance - PLEASE remember this when your SO may do the same. Something that we may have been ok with in the begining may become something that we aren't OK with anymore (note to hubby- I'm not speaking about anything specific just what we discussed a few weeks back - being flexible and open to how we feel in the moment). We aren't doing it on purpose but just like you our emotions about this whole things can vary. We are trying to be patient with you so please reciprocate and do the same for us.
Coping2014
I realize that I do not look like a female movie star, but then angain, most genetic women don't either.
I have no idea what you look like or what you have to work with, but what I do is try to improve what I see in the mirror and in photographs. This is not something you can do overnight, it takes a while.
Many CDers try to dress like a hooker with ultra short skirts, six inch heels, heavy makeup, etc. You're not going to pull that off. Try dressing like a normal woman your age. Study how women walk, sit, hold their hands, etc. Wear lipstick and just enough makeup to cover your beard.
My point is, if you're six feet tall and two hundred pounds, you'll have to dress like a six foot tall two hundred pound woman to actually look female.
I know exactly how you feel. I used to feel the same way some days. I hope I get over it soon.
Roller coasters are fun, exciting, scarey, fast, slow and punishing on the body. So yes these are the same adjectives i would use to describe my CD experiences. Once upon a time I would wish it would go away and then when ithe urge did I would wish it to come back.
Think of the 'Nevers' we have told ourselves and how many of those Nevers have we stayed true to.
For example
Never do makeup
Never wear a wig/forms
Never present fully as a woman
Never take a female name
Never join a forum
Never post on a forum
Never put a picture up
You get the point. This Rollercoaster ride is full of surprises brought about by the challenges that our inner girls keep throwing at us. The other thing is, Rollercoaster rides do stop. You can either get on and go again or get off and find another ride that suits. Are you content with the same familiar ride or do you seek something more thrilling, challenging and perhaps deeply confronting.
I think about this a bit
Luv
Amanda
I think I look dang cute in the camera on my phone. Certain lightings and angles. And friends even say that I'm passable. But in the mirror, I'm not sure how true that is. I don't think I look at all like what my camera is capturing. I have pretty broad shoulders. which I feel is an automatic tell. Although I do think I have great legs. But most of the time, those pictures that I take are enough for me. And maybe my friends' comments ARE true.
I think this is an important point. Age does have many curses, but it also creates many freedoms. If we are lucky, with age we develop perspective. We may not be quite so given to the wild swings in activities and thoughts that we believed were just SO important. We manage to shave off a bit of the peaks and fill in a bit of the valleys. Makes things A LOT EASIER!!
65.75yo
I think life was more of a roller-coaster when I used to purge my closet and hide cross dressing from myself. "Oh that was a one off thing." I'd say to myself and throw all that stuff away. I finally decided I liked who I am and dressing is part of it. It took a while but my SO was introduced to that side of me and now my closet is bigger than hers. It is funny but she asks my advice about clothes now, and listens, since we share my dressing. She can also save my bacon too when I try to be too young or too much of a trollop. I guess the roller-coaster has become just who we are. I hope you find that peaceful place too. Best Gigi
It's probably too late to comment but Tinkerbell imagined the rollercoaster description different to the way it was for me, the highs were more obvious the low was more like a black hole which on one occasion I nearly didn't come out of !
Coping's shopping trip comments do make sense, my wife hates clothes shopping she doesn't have a bad figure but at 5' 1" she struggles with the right length, if she looks in petite the length may be right but the body fit is too tight !
The last time we went shopping, I was looking for drab, as we passed the ladies section I did comment that if I was starting from scratch I wouldn't know where to start !
The time comes for all of us when our youth vanishes and reality looks back at us from the mirror. Then our pleasures are dressing for our own satisfaction. All things end in life. PegyL
If I looked as beautiful as you I would live my life so happy, PegyL
some day all of us will be together in cd land and we can love to our hearts content, PegyL
I think one of the best cures for your feelings is a trip to the mall or grocery store. Look at the women, the natural women. Are they the radiant beautiful creatures you strive to be? Probably not? I always see women without makeup, hair out of place, clothes thrown together, etc. Some are overweight. Some are skinny, flat as a board. It's life. The mirror may be your first enemy. I am a six foot male and 190 pounds. Up close and personal I look like a six foot male and 190 pounds. Stand back from a full length mirror with no point of reference for my size, I am passable. I'm not Barbie. Of course, a wig helps immensely. My hair or what is left of it is grey. I don't bother with makeup. It's too time consuming. I am clean shaven. I feel comfortable.
Of course, if you're (the universal you) are not comfortable being a male to female cross dresser, that is a different issue. When I was young I probably could pass as a tall woman. However, I felt I was a pervert because that is what 1950's and 1960's societal beliefs were. There was a lot of self loathing. It took years to finally accept the fact I am a nice guy with a little quirk. Don't try to mold yourself into the body of the woman you will never be. Accept yourself.
I have all of these feelings as well, nice to know I'm not al8ne but troubled well seem to have the same issues with accepting ourselves.
The best way it can be said nothing to add, right on Cynthia XX
It's, well, not so much a roller coaster; more like a jitney bus, going from one part of town to another, to what feels more like 'home'. There's always a feeling of being in the wrong role, the wrong clothes, when I'm in 'boy' mode. It all feels like an act, and it often is, as I'm careful not to express anything feminine when I'm out in public.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
i agree with you laura j you are so much right, i have the same experience
Speaking of roller-coasters
My GF and I went out in public, in daylight, for the first time while I was dressed. Definitely up! I was sooooo excited to put on a new outfit. The skirt was (very slightly) too short because of my height but I didn't care. My legs are one thing I have that can pass. I put on eye makeup alone for the first time. Then I looked at it, took it all off, and did it better the second time
I was terrified stepping out the door and in the car. Definitely down. K asked me why I was so uptight and I reminded her that if we ran into someone I know, things could go very badly at work (since I am a teacher). Small town conservatives see everything gender/alt. lifestyle related as corruption of their children -- the same children who watch violence and porn on their devices unsupervised at home.
We were out of town by 30 miles but strangely that wasn't enough.
After about an hour I calmed down a bit and we took some pics. Up. I felt better and was able to realize just how comfortable I am in softer, lighter clothing. (No, I am not at the point of sharing pics yet.) Then we went to Lane Bryant and did some shopping for jeans. I couldn't bring myself to try anything on. It was so very difficult to not think everyone looking was judging me. Down.
When we returned home I saw the pics on computer instead of on my phone. From the waist down - heck, everything except my obviously very manly face didn't bother me -- even the wig which I thought looked terrible in the mirror didn't look as bad in the pics even though it is a cheapie I got online. Lose 30 pounds around the middle and a face lift and maybe... Up? Sorta?
I've never felt ashamed about dressing when I get the chance. I do notice that with the amount of effort I take in shaving etc. it has to be planned in advance. And since I have to spend so much time getting ready I have put off dressing sometimes until I feel I could do it comfortably and have several hours to stay dressed. I mean, what's the point of doing 4 hours of prep work shaving, makeup, nails, brushing out wigs, etc. if I can only get dressed for an hour as a result? I guess my mind isn't able to accept the one hour for what it is - I feel wonderful when I am Betty but am always dreading having to put everything away until next time.
I want a three day weekend all to myself or with K there so I can stay dressed the entire weekend - no work, no other commitments. You know, actually tape the forms to my chest and leave them there! Sadly those times are rare.
I also do get a little perturbed if my SO doesn't make a big deal out of the results (she is very much in favor of my dressing, just passive in all things). I've kind of flipped that one on its head. If it takes her 2 hours to get ready for a night out, imagine what it takes me!
She should be happy since I am no longer stealing her lip and nail colors.
Posting Permissions
