Do you think it's easier being a girl?

[Taylor Ray]

A super hot, sexy, and intelligent woman who always get what she wants and manipulates situations to her advantage?

Or an unattractive, overweight female born into poverty and reliant upon the government to feed her children?

Um, these generalizations are either very interesting to discuss...or very philosophically hollow.

[kimdl93]

No, No and No.

There may be some people who have highly unrealistic and idealized views of what it is to be female or male. You sometimes see references here to the 50's housewife as some sort of feminine idea.

Well, no, its not remotely true. If someone's only reference to women was 50's sitcoms, well, they were missing out on a lot of real life. My female role models, including my mother, aunts, and older sister all were hard working and hardly had time or opportunity to look like Donna Reed. Superior? Not a word choice I would have made.

But, I didn't choose to be transgendered. It seems to have chosen me. And I suspect that many CDrs were similarly chosen. They may have conjured up a variety of "explanations" based on their own vague recollections, such as "admiration for women", but most...certainly many men have admirable women in their lives, and do not choose to become CDrs.

[Tami Monroe]

I don't think for a moment that it is easier being a girl. In the summer months, I have absolutely no desire to try and stay in my en-femme character. I can see what my wife and adult stepdaughter go through in the summer months, and I have no desire to deal with that.

[Christen]

Easier being a girl? Nope, definitely not, definitely not.

[sometimes_miss]

Do you think it's easier being a girl?

In general, no. There are advantages to being either sex, but overall, I think it all works out about even. Tink, it's a case of the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, and neither will ever convince the other that they have it harder. The penultimate examples go something along the lines of giving birth, and being drafted and going to war. Everything else pales in comparison.

And do you think this is the reason (or one of) why you started dressing?

I think perhaps initially, especially for guys, it seems easier to be the one to sit back and let others put their egos on the line offering themselves up to be chosen or discarded in the dating world, especially since the vast majority of us get turned down infinitely more often than we get accepted. Same with sex; we have to PERFORM, and doing that performance is almost reliant on something of which we have no conscious control. The old saying is, initially at least, to be good at sex, a woman doesn't necessarily have to be good, she just has to be pretty, and show up. That's it. So yeah, THAT seems a whole lot easier. Yes, sword swallowing is more difficult than licking a lollipop, but it's a skill you can learn, while you can't learn to force an erection.

I won't bother refuting why things are not easier for girls as the list would be a novella

Yes, and I've heard (and every guy has heard) it all before too. As above, there's no way for either sex to experience all the things in life that the other has in order to acknowledge whether it's harder or easier. It's both, really, depending on what particular thing you are talking about.

Was there a particular female (females) in your life who inadvertently or otherwise influenced you to believe that women have it easier? (Or that we are maybe superior in some way?)

Well, one thing that I grew up with, was that women are allowed to complain, and men are not. We're simply expected to suck it up and move on. We can't complain about pain or we're pussies, wimps; we can't complain about wages because it means we're lazy. Basically, we can't complain. About anything. Everything is assumed to be our responsibility, even when it isn't. And yes, that's one of the things that WE have to deal with.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Depending on the county.For my self yes its easy,er being a female ,why, i was born one and did not have to prove what i am , though i was percived as a male by most people i struggled with other issues not related to being who i am or what i am or how i was growing up i was given a full rein as to become my self and my Mother did not push me in ether way of to be a male or female and i did not conform to ether ,

Yet with all that and my other issues I was happy with my self over all and my life and where it has lead me and really i have been blessed in so much .

Is it easy to be female i will not say for every female and that comes from working with many who have been abused so not every female ,

The down side is we are abused from birth many of us and sexualy and after that nothing matters does it,
We are 2nd rate in so much and that covers our life and what we do or are told to ,

I know first hand and that includes my Mom and what happened to us so our start in life was coverned by men and yes not good for us ,

When you are mared for life you have to live with that and it hangs over your head ,

Even so ,I was not influanced in any way by other women or females as to my being female apart from body or other detail you are born wired as a girl ./ female its not something you can add to who you /we are its there from long before birth ,

Being born the way i am is who i am and i dont know any other way , simple ,

So a woman does not need to be good at sex and no doubt love making she just needs to be pretty and show up....OH >>>....WOW.....

What then we are not pretty and struggle with love making , we are rejected we just dont have that what would i say to be sexy to be a lovely looking female or woman what a bloody put down ,what then a good romp in bed , thats it....... no wonder we are 2nd rate,

I struggled all my life with love making i never ever thought i was good enough NEVER.....

......No wonder i had issues with men and what happened to us......

...noeleena...

[Laura J]

1) Do you think it's easier being a girl?
I guess I am an outsider in what it is like to be a girl but that doesn't stop me speculating though... And the question was 'do you think' so:
I think generally girls have it much harder in life than boys. Lower pay, higher expectations, glass ceiling and being treated like objects can't be good. Hopefully it is getting better though. Breaking the straight jacket of 'what boys do' seems to be much harder for boys than girls though. This may be because of the issues above though. Society tells us that to go from a man to a woman is a step down and thus should be frowned on. The other way is seen as desirable because she is stepping up. We understand this is not the case however.

2) And do you think this is the reason (or one of) why you started dressing?
I still haven't worked this out myself.


3) Was there a particular female (females) in your life who inadvertently or otherwise influenced you to believe that women have it easier? (Or that we are maybe superior in some way?)
Maybe it was because I was brought up by a single mum. She somehow managed to keep it all together while moving around the country to escape my dad, and kept us fed and clothed at the same time.

[Athena_]

Hi Tink,

1. I don't know about easier, but I would say that being a girl is less limiting than a boy. Let me explain that. IMO there are far more diverse options for girls in life than for boys. At our point in history, it may be the best time ever for being female in the Western world (and rightly proper). Girls have full access to education and careers that were traditionally male only for most of history. Girls are currently far more accepted in roles that are traditionaly boy roles that the reverse. Girls are in our military in nearly every role, and it seems right and proper. Boys in the Nursing or elementary education fields are still regarded as an oddity, but certainly campable. IMO, women can have it all if they choose to.

Easier, I don't know; but the options of a girls life path are more potentially diverse that boys.

2. I suppose that growing up in a house with a divorced mom and two sisters, and always feeling like I had to be the man at a young age had more to do with it. I often wished to be more like the rest of my family.

3. Mom and my sisters were a strong influence. I certainly felt that female was the superior gender.

[Melissa_59]

1) Do you think it's easier being a girl?
2) And do you think this is the reason (or one of) why you started dressing?
3) Was there a particular female (females) in your life who inadvertently or otherwise influenced you to believe that women have it easier? (Or that we are maybe superior in some way?)

1) Absolutely not. Even if you toss away all the incredibly rough standards that women are expected to hold themselves to, the mere fact that men are responsible for more women dying or being brutalized than any other reason on Earth - by a LONG shot. Great White Sharks don't even rate in that scale, neither do lions, tigers, bears (oh my...) gila monsters, rattlesnakes - heck, if you add most those together they don't even come close. And yet, somehow you have to say "Yes" to those men-people in order to reproduce. That's pretty brave. I could tell you about the story of my oldest daughter who was dating the preacher's son and on prom night tried to rape her, but I'm sure my oldest daughter is not the only one this has happened to. Women have it rough. Really rough - even a guy who you might think is "safe" ends up having another life you know nothing about... -wink-wink- A woman get grey hair and she's "undesirable", if you listen to the dolts on this planet. A man gets grey hair and he's "distinguished". Seriously? The double standards are rampant. Personally I find women who are not afraid of grey hair to be more interesting, simply because they're not as vain.

2) Nope, wasn't looking for a mountain to climb or a life-or-death challenge to overcome. Honestly I wish I knew why. I know I like to do it, I simply wish the world was more accepting of it.

3) N/A, see answer 1.

~Mel

[Ugly Michele]

1) not easier think of the amount of time doing make-up, nails, hair, skin care.
2)not at all, I liked the clothes so much better
3) my mom, sisters they would dress me up, and take me shopping as a young girl. Always loved it.

[Persephone]

I live in Realville with dozens (and dozens) of friends, some males, mostly females, of all ages, races, and backgrounds. And we have ongoing very intimate discussions (as women often do) about our lives, our loves, our relationships. In all that time I have never heard the kind of pity party that seems to form the majority of posts on this thread.

There are the ups and downs of husbands and family life among the married, the constant dating dramas and boyfriend dilemmas of the unmarried, lots of discussion of health issues, but never a "poor, poor pitiful me for having been born a woman."

I might also point out that in addition to being the only sex that can give birth, women also live a good bit longer than men.

Among my friends, other than the FtM's that I know, I doubt there is one who would trade her life for that of a man, even among my lesbian friends. Asked if they wished they'd been born a man there would be an eruption of laughter at the very rediculousness of the question.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Michelle789]

@Persephone,

I don't think that most men nor women would trade their lives for that of the opposite sex. Anyone, regardless of sex, who seriously is engaging in discussions like the one on this thread, likely has some gender issues going on, and falls somewhere on the gender spectrum. That doesn't mean that everyone here is a transsexual and needs to transition - far from it. But I would say that most of the people who posted on this thread have some degree of gender dysphoria, and there is a correlation (not 100%) between severe gender dysphoria and severely thinking the grass is greener on the other side. The key word is severely. Everyone sometimes thinks the grass is greener on the other side, but it doesn't cause most people such pain that they would trade their life for the one of the opposite sex. Those of us whom it causes us pain are often transsexuals, at least in most cases.

In rare cases, there may be a failed man or a failed woman who would want to trade their life for the one of the opposite sex, but they quickly find out that they are their assigned birth sex and work towards being better at their birth sex. These failed men or failed woman are rare cases. In fact, my therapist has never actually seen a "failed woman", and only one percent of her TS clients turn out to be "failed men."

I have seen many male privilege threads, and the common factor is the most vocal critics of male privilege usually are MTF TS who had a difficult time pretending to be a man. I was one of them. A year ago, I was a train wreck. I thought I was a CD. I believed that male privilege was a bunch of bunk, and that girls had it easier. I hated being a man, and wanted to die to be reincarnated as a woman. Even after a psychic told me that "being a woman sucks" and that "gender confusion comes from the devil."

Fast forward a year, I now live most of my life as a woman. I am going to start hormones in 9 days. I am finding that as I accept myself and start transition, that I now see that both sexes have it difficult in different areas. I recognize that there is definitely male privilege, and that that privilege comes with male responsibility. Men have it easier in some areas, and more difficult in other areas. Women have it easier in some areas, and more difficult in other areas. I find that as I accept myself there is no need to debate male privilege any more. To me, it doesn't matter how much male privilege there is out there, because I am not a man. I was born into the wrong body. I would never want to go back to pretending to be a man. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to transition and am prepared for every possible bump in the road.

One more thing, no matter how much male privilege there is, and even if it is "easier to be a man", having privilege or "easiness" doesn't make you happy. I have heard stories of miserable millionaires and happy beggars. I have noticed many of the people who posted on this very thread who believe that a girl's life is harder, or at least no easier than a man's, used to believe that woman were the privileged gender. This tells me about some of the pain and suffering gender dysporia is causing many people here on this forum.

Just perhaps that psychic is actually a man trapped in a woman's body. Maybe she hates being a woman so much, and would trade her life for the one of a man, because, well, she is a man. I told this story about the psychic to an FTM and an MTF in my group, and both believe the psychic might be transgender in denial.

[JessMe]

I suffer no delusions that life is somehow easier as a female... still human, still have hopes and doubts and fears, still have bills that show up uninvited, and have a day-to-day existence that you wish could be easier. ...I DO, however, think that, I personally, would be happier in spite of the same old two step that comes with being a person... if that person were female. ...just my .02$ (or 750 dollars Canadian, whichever you prefer. ...just kidding canucks!!)

[Zooey]

If I thought it was easier to be a woman, I'd probably be several years into transition. I think part of what keeps me from pursuing that path is that I'm absolutely terrified of giving up my White Male Privilege card when it comes to my career.

[Dena]

No, I don't think it's easier being a girl. The variety of styles and fabrics are what got me started.
Some dresses can be magical! I never felt any magic in guy clothes.

[Mia27]

I do not believe its easier being a girl:P But its hell of a lot more fun!!! i believe that my sisters and mother were a strong influence on my crossdressing. My mom was the head of the household and my sisters had close to equal power:P i had four sisters and 1 step brother. I grew up around all things girls mostly. I learned to love the clothes my sisters wore and i got pretty jealous of all the choices and fun they had with their outfits. Thats my take on it:P i dont want to be a girl full time, i love being a man and going out and being as manly as can be (i'm a fisherman). But sometimes, i just love to be Mia

[BethanyCross]

What an interesting question!

1. Physically, I think men have it better. No, men can't have babies but physcial strength, health, plumbing issues make it physically better to be a man, I attribute women's edge on longevity to the stress of work - an edge that is decreasing as society let's women assume traditionally male careers.
2. Mentally, women seem to have an edge on men. Fewer psychological issues, crossdressing being one. Not that crosdressing is a negative, but it is an issue men have to deal with and women don't. Additionally, most of the sexual perverts are men - rape, incest, pedophilia.
3. Place in society, I give the edge to women, although it used to be men. While men still have the lead role in the world, that is decreasing. Men earn more money, but when you go to a shopping mall it is obvious that women spend it! Women get to use the money on things for themselves to make themselves pretty, but are not functional. Men get golf clubs, powertools and cars. Frankly, I'd rather make myself pretty!

[Michelle789]

@Bethany,

Shopping for women's clothes and trying them on is WAY more fun than shopping for or trying on men's clothes.

[Rogina B]

I have a 12 yr old daughter that I firmly believe has developed positively from having a Transgender father whose thoughts blur gender lines.Like any good parents,we constantly discuss her future. I want her to be a "stand up girl"..one that is not afraid to assert herself in the male world..And not to be dependent on a male in any way,shape or form. As I watch her character develop,it is so obvious of the complexities of a female's life versus the simplistic "get it done" life of an average male.. .And having full acceptance from an extremely open minded mother whose interests crossed gender roles has made a huge difference throughout my life. Perhaps,I answered your question.

[Alice Torn]

I believe GGs have it easier socially, and they are in demand far more than males or CDs. So many men CD or not, have no close friend, period. I have envied GGs because they have a great social advantage we don't have. A problem women do have, is too much male attention they do not want. That has to be difficult, always being hit on. Many men , CD or not, have almost never had a woman "hit on" them. Many of us guys are loners, societal rejects. Males commit suicide successfully far more than GGs do. Men feel like losers, and are branded losers far more than GGs, if they are not financially "successful". Money seems a terrible way, to judge a man's worth. What about character? Some of us envy your great variety of colors, and modes of dress. How would GGs like being limited all through life, with, pants, shirt or sweater, and coats? You women have some real hardships, but also some advantages, mainly socially. Very few GG loners with few or no close friends, like many men are. I did not think my mom had it easy. She had an emotionally , and mentally torturous life, with my abusive father. She died, and he is 93 now. I saw girls in school socially blessed, and kind of envied them, know they had it easier socially than boys.

[MelanieAnne]

I don't know if women have it easier, but they can always find someone to move in with and take care of them.

[ophelia]

Women absolutely have one thing better, a supreme advantage..... They are so far ahead of the curve. Not withstanding Katherine Hepburn, Amelia Aerheart and Annie Hall, women have freely crossdressed for generations with nary a cultured soul making anything like a fuss or batting an eyelash. Although the world is changing it's not anywhere near the warp factor we need. the current democratically elected mayor of Toronto, an artistic, modern, progressive big city, refuses to march in in the pride parade or raise the rainbow flag. That's the (dwindling) majority speaking sisters, and when we show up to work with some barely overdone highlights, some eyebrow waxing or some tentative eyelash extensions their minds, if not their voices, say F-A-G. And they hide their children from you. The world turns every twenty four hours, but for us, the virtually un-liberated crossdressers of the world it's barely three o'clock.

[ReineD]

It's no easier being a girl than it is to be a boy. There is no 'best way' to be.

For 95% of the population, it's actually easier for a woman to be a girl than a boy, and it's easier for a man to be a boy than a girl.

I think the people who have it most difficult, are people whose gender identities are not aligned with their physical sex.

Crossdressers may have it difficult too, if they feel they cannot be themselves in male mode. By this, I mean showing a caring, nurturing, less competitive side of themselves perhaps. But luckily the world is changing and it is making it possible for men to show their softer sides, just as it is making it possible for women to be independent and successful in the work force.

As to presentation (adornments like makeup, jewelry, fashionable clothes) … well, honestly I think this is secondary to who we are, although I know I am speaking from the privileged position of not having any desire to appear as the opposite gender. So it's OK for me to not dress up (and please, I am not crossdressing when I wear jeans with no makeup or jewelry). I don't miss it if an occasion such as a fancy dinner or cocktail party doesn't present itself. But I do recognize that crossdressers don't feel that way, there's just something about a feminine presentation that is hugely attractive to CDers. So because our society does not condone men who wear women's clothes, in this sense it is also very difficult to be a crossdresser.

[Megalic30]

1) Depends on the girl. We all come from all walks of life some rich, some poor, some privileged and some abused. I don't think gender makes things easier or harder unless it's peeing when standing up. For the important things we are all capable of doing no matter the gender its society and self doubt that tells us we can't.

Gloria Steinem — 'We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters

((Note: Being a GG I try not to get offended by some of the things that have been said. I often realize that the idea of “Woman Hood” here is an interpretation from the parts that have been commercialized and not the always the real thing. A woman is not her clothes, she is not her makeup, she is not her ability to produce children. This is not what a woman is nor dose it make a man any less of a man to want these things. Also for those who put down pregnancy as one of the reasons for easy.... really?! Just look up “Things they do not tel you about giving birth” and let me know if you still think its easy. ))

2) Can't really answer this being a GG.

3) I have known girls/women who put up this mask of having it all because of beauty. Nice hair, nice nails, makeup, clothes, expecting a man to take care of them. But it was a mask. Underneath was someone with self doubt and fear. Underneath was someone who wanted to be loved by others and thought this was the only way how. Sometimes this drive to perfection will distract you from how wonderful imperfection is.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

I think the people who have it most difficult, are people whose gender identities are not aligned with their physical sex....Crossdressers may have it difficult too, if they feel they cannot be themselves in male mode. By this, I mean showing a caring, nurturing, less competitive side of themselves perhaps.

I agree with this. I read often here (hence the thread!) about how much better life would be as a girl, as though it's all peachy cream over this side, when maybe what they mean is how much easier it would be just to feel comfortable in their own skin? That makes a lot of sense as everyone here is right - neither gender has it easier. It's just different....though I completely agree with Megalic that being able to stand and pee would be AWESOME! I also agree that we GG's can usually get laid a lot easier on a night out. Not that I'd know that personally, no, of course not.......

As for my H, I know from many conversations that he has always been jealous of the easy sexual appeal women hold. He's a sexual dresser and he's partly convinced it's because he was a slow starter sexually. He created his own girlfriend, or so he says. Who knows? Otherwise, he was pretty much raised by his very strong mother and sisters and definitely holds more respect for women as his father basically let them all down. This may have something to do with him crossdressing, but it may not. He can't answer that as it's so long ago. Guess it doesn't really matter. And I make sure he knows I'm superior anyway so I guess I'm reaffirming things, lol!!

As for me? I worshiped my rather abusive father until I had to see him for what he was. I struggled with self esteem for many years thanks to his treatment of me and always thought men held the power. I wanted that power for myself but couldn't ever see how to get it. I see this for what it is now - a failure on my father's part. Plenty of men don't throw their weight around women like he did, and I don't cower from authoritative men like I once did. But that took much counselling and personal effort to achieve and there are still days I don't like the company of authoritative men.

One thing I will add to this thread - to all the parents here, be the most loving, supportive and available you can be. So many of us are a product of parents who weren't. x