Do you think it's easier being a girl?

[NicoleScott]

Wednesday has the best response so far. Men and women are different, and our evolved society has blessed and cursed us with privileges and responsibilities that seem to come with the territory. That's the way it is. Deal with it.

[BethanyAnn]

Definitely not easier, but it is more rewarding...richer I think. My mother and sisters spent a lot of time primping when I was growing up and I just followed in the same way. In my late teens and 20's...I could get by with some powder, blush and mascara, but in my mid 30's it takes ALOT more time and effort, something I don't have to do when going to work as a guy.
Bethany

[Nadine Spirit]

Hi Tink,

1 - No I do not think life is easier for girls. Personally I think lots of people think others have it easier than them. The whole grass is always greener argument. I see the same generalizations made by both genders. It would be easier if ...

2 - Your question makes the assumption that what we do is a thought out choice and I don't think it is a choice to desire to be somewhere within the trans umbrella.

3 - No.

I find it so interesting in trying to wrap one's head around transgenderism that it brings up and challenges so many of societies notions about ourselves.

[AmandaM]

No I think it's harder being a girl.

[Lorileah]

1) Do you think it's easier being a girl?

Oh hell no. It is harder in many ways, more time to get ready, more choices to get ready, more men who think you are easy, more men who treat you like an 8 year old. Shall I go on?

2) And do you think this is the reason (or one of) why you started dressing?

No I thought it would be different but not easier. In my case it was just who I was

3) Was there a particular female (females) in your life who inadvertently or otherwise influenced you to believe that women have it easier? (Or that we are maybe superior in some way?)

no just the opposite

Thanks for reading. [/QUOTE]

[Nadya]

I don't believe that by being a girl, life will be easier. That's different from if I were a girl my life would be easier in terms of trying to pass. I think women are far superior to men but that doesn't mean that I thought they had an easier life. I don't know about others on here but presenting myself as a woman has been enlightening to what women go through day-to-day (at least a very small taste of what it's like). If every man had to do it, I'm sure the world would be a different place.

[Amy R Lynn]

Interesting question....

It really depends on which part of being easier you are talking about. Physically, bodily, etc...

I would say for me, being a man is much easier. I don't have to shave anything unless I want to. I don't have to worry about my mens clothes looking cute or anything. I grab a t-shirt and jeans and I'm done. If I'm dressing up as a man then nice pants and a good ol button up shirt.

When Amy comes out to play it takes a LOT longer to get ready. I have to shave (I swear I share DNA with Sasquatch) and that can take a while depending on how I have been able to maintain it. Then I have to fret over which clothes work better together and make me look cute. Then I have to spend 45 mins - 1 hour putting on makeup.

So for me, being a man is definitely easier.

Now, I know some GG's that don't wear any makeup, don't get dressed up very often. They brush their hair, put something in to hold it in place, put on jeans and a t-shirt and they are all set. And they look GREAT! So.... for them being a girl seems pretty easy.

Now if you take the body into consideration.. I would say Men have it a WHOLE lot easier. When men go through puberty we don't develop boobs (much to my chagrin), which I've heard can be uncomfortable. Men don't have these huge weights stuck to our chests that create back problems and can get sore if you don't have a proper fitting bra. Men don't have to go through PMS, and Men don't have to give birth to have children. Men also don't have all of the medical complications that come with having a natural vagina. There are all kinds of cancers and other issues going on with women's reproductive systems. Bodily..... Men have it way easier.

[MatildaJ.]

It is not easy being a person on this planet regardless of gender.

My feelings exactly.

It really depends on which part of being easier you are talking about....I know some GG's that don't wear any makeup, don't get dressed up very often. They brush their hair, put something in to hold it in place, put on jeans and a t-shirt and they are all set. And they look GREAT! So.... for them being a girl seems pretty easy.

But only if one focuses on trying to attract attention. Many women want less attention paid to their bodies, and figuring out how to minimize attention to one's breasts or hips can be challenging. Also, women bear more responsibility for helping their colleagues get along and thrive and helping family members get through during childhood, illness and old age.

I wish people who were unhappy with the male roles worked harder to bring about the social change they want to see. Feminists changed society's expectations for women (somewhat), and men need to demand a similar flexibility for themselves.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tink, No on ever said that being a lady was going to be easy , But it sure is fun getting all dressed up
in so many soft and pretty fashions, wigs and Hi-Heels and emulating the real ladies.
I like to think that I now have the best of both worlds.

I have been in this program at least 67yrs. now that would put me around 4 yrs. old back then.

As for a roll model I guess that it would've been my mother.

[Michelle789]

1. It is not easier being a girl. I believe that men and women have different sets of challenges. When I started college, I remember one of my academic advisors told me that if I want to take 12 credits in a semester, I have two choices.
a. I can take four 3-credit classes
b. I can take three 4-credit classes

My advisor told me that taking three 4-credit classes is the easier option. I feel like the differences between being male and female can be summed up in that fashion. Being a woman is like taking four 3-credit classes - there are more things to juggle, but each one is light weight. Being a man is like taking three 4-credit classes - there are fewer things to juggle, but each one is more weight to carry around.

I think that women have more things to worry about than men do, and while most of them are lighter weight than what men have to worry about, there are some heavy weight consequences - namely unwanted pregnancy if you are a cis-gendered woman. On the other hand, men have fewer things to worry about, but there is tremendous pressure put on men to perform, succeed, and financially support the wife and kids.

It's called male privilege and male responsibility. I have no doubt in my mind that male privilege exists in all cultures. I have debated this issue many times on this forum, only to discover that the real debate isn't male privilege. It's whether or not there is male responsibility that comes along with male privilege, and how much responsibility to men have to take to get their male privileges. Male privilege is definitely true. Male responsibility is questionable.

While many men do take responsibility, work very hard, and financially support their wife and kids, there are deadbeat men out there who actually dodge their male responsibilities. Children of single moms who's father walked out on them as a kid, refuses to pay child support or alimony, and the mom had to play both mommy and daddy, will testify that being a woman is MUCH harder than being a man. Children of stay at home mom's will testify that both men and women have different challenges, and that while daddy has male privilege he also takes on a huge responsibility.

Men also have to sign up for the draft in all cultures, and risk dying in war. Women (GG's) do not have to worry about dying in war. War sucks, and is a huge price men pay to be men. We might not think much of war, because we have had no draft since the 1970's, and all of our recent wars have been fought overseas, with minimal casualties compared to earlier wars. But I think had we grown up during World War II or the Civil War, we might be thinking very differently about this question. I think lots of people who suffered through World War II or the Civil War would argue that girls have it easier since they didn't have to fight in the war against their will. War is the biggest curse of being a man, and whether or not you risk dying in war depends on whether or not you are of draft age during a major war where there is a draft - once again something that all of us born after 1955 did not have to worry about, although all of us born after 1955 have had to still sign up for the selective service - it's just that in the USA they haven't used the draft for 40 years.

On the other hand, if you want to fight in a war, it is easier to be a man. Like Paula said, if you want to bear children, you have to be a girl.

Being a girl also requires more time to get ready, more clothing choices, doing hair and makeup, and competition with other females over the body. Men also have an easier time making friends with other men than do women with other women. Women, especially the really pretty girls, may only have one friend, and that is the boyfriend or husband, and that is if he is a companion - many men do not make good companions and are emotionally closed off.

Women have gone from being second class citizens to having double duty. I also believe this double duty is the reason many women feel that we need both equality and chivalry. Equality without chivalry is not equality, and chivalry without equality is not equality.

Walking alone at night, or even during the day, can be dangerous for women. It is freightening to be approached by a man, especially when he starts chasing you for 20 minutes. It just happened to me today, I was walking down the street around my neighborhood today, in broad daylight, and this guy follows me for 20 minutes and sexually harasses me on and off. I finally got away from him. This experience can happen to GG's, to transwomen, and yes, even to CDers out and en femme. So far, my experience with unwanted male attention is in indoor places like the supermarket or Target or the mall, I get little attention, but when walking out on the streets alone I get far more male attention. Today it nearly turned into a disaster.

Even going on a date or being around your own boyfriend or husband can result in rape or sexual assault for a woman. In fact, 80% of rapes are date rapes - committed by a boyfriend or husband. Your own SO can be your own worst enemy if you are a woman.

2. I knew I identified as female since age 5, and I repressed it. I CDed as a way to express the girl within me. Sometimes my perception that girls have it easier was really because, like Paula said, if you wish to be a girl, it is easier to be a girl if you have a girl's body. It is easier for me to be a girl, because I am one, and pretending to be a man was painful and extremely difficult for me - especially in the dating department. I do have some male habits that I will need to unlearn as I transition.

I do give that ciswomen have it FAR easier than transwomen. If you are a transwoman, than GG's do have it easier than us. And keep in mind that transwomen cannot bear children even if we wanted to, and unless you transition really young, everyone one of us had to sign up for the selective service and risk being drafted.

3. There was no female in particular that caused me to believe that women have it easier than men. I never truly believed that women had it easier than men. But I never believed that men had it easier than women. I believed that men and women just had different problems to deal with - and all of us deal with problems because that is part of life.

Finally, I think the ultimate challenge for all of us is having to live inside of boxes, even if we could pick the box, but it's even worse because we don't pick the box, we are assigned a box at birth to live in. I think the world would be a better place if society would let go of the boxes that we have imposed on all of us to live within.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Interesting questions - these are my own personal observations and opinions. They are not necessarily universal truths or even things I find true all the time...

There are things that are easier for women. For people in my generation, growing up in the 50s and 60s, it was usually MUCH easier for a woman to find a casual sex partner than for a guy. We had to struggle, all most of them had to do was ask... Men willingly and happily do things for women that they would only do grudgingly at best for other men. In conversations, men chuckle at things women say that they would challenge loudly if another man had said it. I always thought my father was MUCH tougher and stricter with his sons than with his daughters.

BUT, there are a lot of things that are much easier for men. Just walking down a street near a construction site can be an ordeal for a woman. Being approached by someone asking for money can be a scary experience. Getting paid less than men is no picnic. There is NOTHING a guy can go through that compares to giving birth - if guys had babies, the human race would have died out long ago, because very few men would ever go through something like that twice!

I have no desire to be a woman. But I do enjoy wearing woman's clothes. It started as a sexual thing, but these days, it is just more comfortable. I wish I could wear a skirt and heels to work - as a guy. Maybe that is becoming more acceptable, but again, my generation has a lot of habits to break!

When I have on really nice clothes and walk gracefully in 4" heels (well, I don't actually see myself, so maybe not so much, but it IS my fantasy) I feel very close to my mother. She was a classy lady, and I like to try to look classy.

Deedee

[Darlylong]

I have too manly of a face to go out in public, but I think differently and enjoy life more as a woman.

[grace7777]

1. I am not sure as to who has it easier.

2. My dressing has never had anything to do with the idea that women have it easier. When I started dressing it just seemed something that I was led to do. I thought I could it at home initially and that would be enough, but it was not. Eventually I started going out and spending more and more time presenting as a woman. Now it seems I feel more natural presenting as a woman. Whether I am TS or not is something I need to discuss with a therapist. Also, I believe I have had feminine traits since childhood, which I had repressed for so many years.

3. There has been no specific woman who has influenced me on whether girls have it easier.

[Robin777]

!. No I don't think it's easier being a girl. I believe society in this country still treats women sometimes as 2nd class citizens and in some societies worse than that. So the answer is no. I just wish the men in the world would treat women as equals.

2. No, this isn't the reason I started dressing. I still haven't figured out why I started and why I still dress. Maybe I am wired wrong for my gender. I know I enjoy dressing and it makes me happy when I dress.

3. No,as far as I can remember, there was no particular female that influenced me. As I said I don't believe that women have it easier. I do believe women in some situations are superior to men. I believe more women should be in positions of power in this country,as I think this country would be better run than it is. I have the highest respect for women.

#.

[LesliePinky]

way hard, girls got a lot of things to maintain, to do, to beautify, also the actions very very hard.......but oh well we all love it

[Gardener]

I am not sure we should use the word easier but different and preferable might be more appropriate. I was not the happiest of young people and I distinctly felt drawn to the idea that so many things would be better if I was a girl. I do not think this was about gender confusion but plain simply that life might be better if .....however the one thing I am sure of is that there is no one size fits all answer to this question.

[Amanda M]

Hi Tinkerbell. Easier to be a woman? I don't think so. Each gender has to face it's own challenges, and by and large, we do.

My crossdressing was not a conscious choice - as far as I know. It developed in parallel with the rest of me!

Hope you two are doing well!

[Robinsinclair]

First, is it easier being a girl? Seen from only one side, it's hard to say.

Each gender seems to have some pluses and minuses. Men have more pressure to "succeed" and more pressure to conform. They have higher suicide rates and higher death rates due to violence. There are many areas where ones role as a "man" is very tightly defined. Men are expected to "provide" and there are strong societal pressures for them to do so.

Women have longer lives, lower death rates by violence and appear to have generally better health. They have better social networks and generally better support from their peers. Women are better accepted in a "mans world" than men are in a "womans world". In some ways women have more choices than men. Women can choose to be different and will not suffer in same manner as men for their differences.

Women are protected, cared for and valued in western society in ways that men are not.

That said, women suffer because men care for them. A woman's ability to choose a path independently is more difficult. She will be protected whether she wants to be or not. In some societies womens choices are entirely taken away.

Is it easier? It looks to be vastly more work to be a woman, but the rewards appear to be larger.

= = =

Is it why I enjoy dressing? Possibly.

= = =

A particular female??? My mom and the treatment of girls generally in school.

[Claire Cook]

Tink, We always need your perspective, and that of other GG's. I think that our responses in part depend on how we see ourselves.

1. Obviously women deal with things that men don't. The whole inequality in the job market, other gender-related biases, dealing with menstrual cycles, female peer pressure, motherhood -- these are things that, unless we have transitioned, we don't experience (well, none of us deal with periods or get pregnant, do we?) Do women have it easier? I don't think so. Having said that, there other sides to this question. If you are growing up as a guy, but with female identity or leanings, that isn't easy, either.

2. I guess the above answers #2. If women don't have it easier, then that is not a reason for me to CD. If I had had my choice, I think I would have been happier had I grown up as girl -- but it certainly would not have been "easier".

3. Did any particular woman influence me? No, I just wanted to do what they did and look like they did. I'm an only kid, and I know that my mother wanted a daughter (in addition to me). I never told her about my gender confusion (I did not what it was at the time) and sometimes i wonder how she would have reacted had I been honest with her. Perhaps she would have been my strongest influence?

[Brittany CD]

No, not in the slightest

[Amanda22]

Tink, thanks for the question. I'm having trouble with the word "easier." I'm not sure what you mean by it or what anyone would mean by it without a specific example. However, here are my responses:

1) I think that genetic females and genetic males who don't need to crossdress or aren't transsexual don't have to struggle with issues most on this forum deal with. I would say life would be easier for me if I didn't have a 24 hour hour per day awareness of my gender incongruity.

2) What I said in answer 1 is definitely why I crossdress. When I wear feminine clothing, I feel the gap narrows between who I am internally and my physical body.

3) To the best of my knowledge, no female in my life has influenced me to think women have an easier path. In fact, I think women have a much more difficult path in life. I do believe females are superior to males, and I've arrived at that view by observing how men handle conflict versus women.

[Ressie]

Yes, I believe it's easier. Girls don't have to shave their faces every day or work on their feminine voice. All this girly stuff seems to come naturally to most girls. I've never heard of a girl getting kicked out of a ladie's room. Gosh, girls can even shop for girl's clothing without anyone thinking they're weird. Tucking is painful!

[adrienner99]

I think men and women face different types of pressures. I wouldn't call things easier for either, just different. Men are probably still paid better (tho they are mostly aggressive, alpha male types perhaps.) Women get cheated more often by auto repair shops and contractors. If someone breaks into your home at 3:00 a.m. it's the man who goes downstairs with a baseball bat. If your child wakes up screaming at 3:00 a.m. it's usually the woman who reacts while the man snores through it. Men can be brutally cruel to each other, and to women for that matter.

I dress because the look and feel of women's clothes does something to me that nothing else in the world does.

[typhoidmary]

from the perspective of someone who feels uncomfortable and somewhat wrong being male and masculine, and to whom being female seems desirable based on it being pretty much integral at this point to who my ideal self would be for reasons I could never quite grasp, I'd say that for me personally, yes being a girl would be easier.

outside of that, I wouldn't know. depends on the individual I guess. I really hate those kind of "who has it worse" debates, I don't think they're productive at all so it's not something I really think about. I'm not saying I think this thread is one of those, don't get me wrong.

[Kate Simmons]

I don't think it's "easier" per se Tink, just more satisfying at times. I started dressing those long years ago because it just "felt right".