Amy Finally Came Out!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Amy, It's great that you now have this out in the open , The ball is in her court now go slow & easy.

[Amy Fakley]

well ... it's day 5 and the sky still has not fallen!

I honestly still cannot believe how lucky I am.
We have talked and talked and talked some more, and ... incredibly ... at least according to her, this is almost a non-issue for her.

Yesterday, she asked for the USB drive back, and very nervously I give it up.
When I got home from work she said "I finally got the nerve to look at your pictures" ...
me: "and ....?"
her: "you look like a pastor's wife"
me: "I told you even when I'm freaky I'm boring"

and we laughed about it. that was the most amazing, beautiful thing ever.
She told me she loves me for who I am, and I almost cried.

It's like this hiding was so deep rooted in me that it made a wall between me and the world, and especially her because I felt like I'd lose everything for sure if she ever found out. There were emotions I just would not let myself feel. Physical intimacy (not necessarily sexual) was just so awkward and uncomfortable. Now that I've told her, the wall is gone and we connect in such a complete and authentic way. Everything feels new (and so much better).

I know things could change, even if they do I think it was worth it, just to have had days good as the last few have been.
Maybe I'm jinxing it by saying so, but I can honestly say I have never been happier in my life than I am right now.

[Claire Cook]

Amy,

You've made our day with this last post. May this bring you two closer!

[PaulaQ]

Thanks for sharing your story, Amy, it's beautiful and I know it inspires hope for so many others who desperately need hope. I'm really happy for you and your wife!

[MsVal]

It's been about 3 1/2 months since we had "The Talk", and it's been a roller coaster of emotions.

The first one was embarrassment, shame, and many, many tears. Then incredible relief like none I ever experienced before followed by a dense Pink Fog, during which I pushed too far and too fast. <more talk, more tears> Next came a closeness like we haven't had in many years, and even support. Recently a strange depression, some distance between us, and her uneasy acceptance.

In a few weeks we will be going on a 5 week trip during which I will have almost no opportunity to dress. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

My best advice is to keep your cool, go slowly, and expect several rough patches. It sounds like you two have a pretty strong marriage that will withstand this revelation.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Katey888]

Good luck Amy...

Sounds like you've handled it as well as you could have done so far... and I hope it continues to go well for you - I'll keep my fingers crossed...

Katey x

[kimdl93]

No jinxing involved. You've allowed your wife to see yet another facet of you, a part that has informed and contributed to the person you are. Now she knows you at a level of intimacy that you had so long denied her. That's a good thing.

[jjjjohanne]

Amy, I am so glad your life hasn't flipped upside down because of this. I think that your wife would appreciate knowing what you have just shared here. I would tell her about how you used to go to bed and worried about being caught and about how you now are stressed in a new way. I wonder if she is also feeling new, difficult feelings.

I think your wife is more accepting of mine, and my wife has had well over a decade to come to terms with hit!

Joey

[Hell on Heels]

Slide over Amy I need to take a seat next to you! I had "the talk"last night !
Must be something in the air.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Aldoreeq]

Good luck Amy... You did the right thing and now you can be yourself.

[Suzanne F]

Amy
I loved your last post. That is the way this journey started for me and my wife. There have been many how and downs in the last 18 months but I would not trade the experience for anything. My wife has somehow found a way to find a new love for me. Even though I am headed toward living life as Suzanne! Good luck and I hope all the best for the two of you
Suzanne

[mykell]

congratulations amy,
gets the old heart pumping spewing out the secret,
glad its going well....

[JamieG]

That's great to hear. Sounds like you're handling this the right way. I wish you and your wife all the best!

[Rebekah_uk]

Amy

Had the "the talk" earlier this year and yes it was probably the single scariest thing i have had to do. I feel as though a great weight has been lifted between the person i love with the whole of my heart and myself. There isn't much more to say as the girls here are giving the same advice i received in February.

All the best for the future
Rebekah

[Amy Fakley]

Oh. My. God!

We just got back from our romantic weekend getaway. We went up to Nashville for the weekend, and decided to splurge a little (well a LOT). We stayed at the Hermitage in the heart of down town ... like a serious 5 star kinda place. Jeeves and the whole bit, LOL ... completely absolutely amazing.

We had a nice dinner and talked and talked, and ... aah well you know ... romantic getaway stuff :-)

The next day she said "let's go shopping". It took me a while to warm up to it. I was so full of nerves and anxiety. She kept reassuring me that everything was ok, and that she loved me, and that we were going to have fun shopping together. Eventually the nerves evaporated, and we did the shopping thing, and it was beyond amazing. Once I opened up, we could share things we liked, things we didn't like, etc. I helped her pick out three great dresses, and she looks absolutely gorgeous in them. It was so much fun, I was on cloud 9!

Then she asked if I wanted to look for something for me, and nervously, I said I did. She helped me pick out two of the cutest dresses (will have to post pics later). She was so understanding and amazing and ... oh my god the dresses are just so pretty.

Funny story: we're in Belk's browsing the clearance rack, and there's this little girl (maybe 5 or 6) with her mom. Her mom is oblivious to my wife and I browsing one rack over, but she is looking at us, maybe trying to figure us out. Anyhow, my wife found this cute sweater dress and she holds it up to me to see how it's going to look. The little girl was looking right at us and her eyes just about popped out! LOL ... I couldn't stop laughing, it was so funny.

It was the most amazing and wonderful weekend of our marriage. By light years, it was.
We shopped 'till we dropped for sure (which for my wife is actually kind of an achievement, LOL).

We both feel like teenagers in love again. The connection we have now is so deep and amazing, and I just ... I cannot believe that I wasted 17 years of our life together by holding this secret unnecessarily. I could never have imagined.

I told 8 days ago, and every single day since has been the best day of my life, including today.

She said I should move my things out of hiding and put them up in our closet with the others she bought for me this weekend.
I can't believe it, but she really really accepts me for who I am, and loves me more than she ever did before. I feel, for the first time in my life that someone loves all of me, and it is so incredibly real. And beautiful. And amazing.

I'm gushing, LOL.
In short: everything is just great!

Cautiously optimistic, baby steps, etc. But amazing. And great.

[PaulaQ]

Oh Amy, I am so very happy for you and your wife! Your weekend sounds amazing, and her love and acceptance for you is what all of us would hope for.

Buy her some diamonds, honey, she deserves 'em!

[MsVal]

Wow! What a great time you two must have had. I can't imagine how happy and relieved you are. That's the greatest follow-up story I can remember reading.

Nominate that woman for the wife of the year award.

Best wishes
MsVal

[kimdl93]

Amy, your past eight days are the most remarkable I have ever heard. it's wonderful to have her overwhelming support, and to have her helping you take steps you're understandably shy about taking. And what a weekend, what beauty in having the romance reignited by your revelation of self.

But, as I have said before, this also says volumes about you and your wife. Obviously, you are people of great character, truly remarkable, wonderful people who recognize and appreciate the value in each other.

[Nikki 1984]

Amy, congrats there. At least for now on the pressure is off your shoulders. You don't have to worry about hiding anything anymore. You get to be able to go out more often. Your not having to wait till the wife and kids aren't home to go out.

Huggs, Nikki

[Amy Fakley]

oh cruuuud !!!
I just realized the reason not to post pics here is because this thread is open to the public
moving pics to proper forum

[Christen]

Amy, you must be in heaven!
Big cheers to both of you!!

Christen x

[Beverley Sims]

I hope this a turning point in your life for you.

[joanna4]

A very happy ending I shall say and I wish you and your family the best.

[CynthiaD]

Any:

That is an absolutely wonderful story. It sounds like the weight of the world is off your shoulders and that your life couldn't be better. I'm so happy for you!

[Melissa18]

Hi Amy,
I've justo tumbled across this thread, and I'm glad I did, wow what a story, and with a happy ending you have a wonderful wife, and I hope you did buy her the diamonds that PaulaQ suggested!
Love Adelaide