Lose my panties

[flatlander_48]

Just a bit passive aggressive is she?

In this case, Aggressive/Passive might be a better description...

[StephanieR]

I'm new here, but it seems like she just wants to slow things down a little. If she's comfortable with the plain panties, I'd settle for that and wait and see what develops later.

[Richelle423]

I think she was jealous of what you wear and wanted them for herself>

[MelanieAnne]

I'm always amazed how women feel free to rummage through their husbands things, but they are outraged if you go through any of their stuff.

[CynthiaD]

So, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Why'd she take them, and what did she do with them?

[Krisi]

Lots of questions but no answers.

[Eringirl]

Hi Glenda: Very sorry to learn of your "situation". I think talking it out is always best, and not escalate things by reacting with the same type of behaviour. Although, asking her how she would feel if you did the same to her, take away some of her cloths that you feel are overly masculine, including cotton panties, would be a good question for her. If yours were more "delicate/feminine" than hers, she may have felt threatened. But you won't know unless you ask, IMHO.

Hope you get some resolution to this!! Keep us posted...?

Erin

[donnalee]

You ever hear about the mule?

"A Missouri farmer had just purchased a magnificent mule, the Blue Ribbon winner at the State Fair; just a beautiful animal. In order to augment his purchase, he hired the best mule trainer in the state. The trainer came to the farm to meet his newest pupil and to evaluate him. He looked the mule over, then walked to the lumber pile, selected a 4X4, walked back to the mule and hit him on the head as hard as he could. The mule went down on his knees; the farmer, incensed, ran over to the mule and said to the trainer 'What the hell?! I hired you to train my mule, not to kill him!!!' The trainer replied, 'Yes, but first, I need to get his attention.'"

Now the 4X4 may be a bit extreme (as is violent behavior in general), but she needs to learn that there are certain things that are inviolable, no matter how much you love her and want her to be happy. To take and dispose of someone else's personal property without their permission is totally unacceptable behavior and that needs to be thoroughly understood by her. Perhaps tit-for-tat may work, perhaps a different method, but you need to get her attention.

[Pink Susan]

"...and took most of them..." Really? ???

And did exactly WHAT with those panties of yours? Cut them up? Throw them in the garbage? Give them to Goodwill? Keep them for herself?

Here's a news flash, Glenda...your problems go beyond DADT. Your wife is a control freak and a bully. I should know; I am married to someone just like her.

The difference is that in my case, I've "grown a pair" despite my otherwise feminine inclinations and no longer put up with that type of nonsense, nor the corresponding attempts at passive-aggressive manipulation. Sure, the sparks often fly as a result, but that's the price of admission when living with a person who has a very aggressive personality.

Your wife is treating you like a child, and you're being an enabler by letting her get away with it. What's next? Is she going to make you stand in the corner wearing a dunce cap, or give you a half-hour "time out" when you do something that displeases her?

History has shown time and time again that the only way to deal with bullies (and their next-of-kin - blackmailers) is to confront them head-on and not to back down. That's the only language that they understand, as they are not wired like the rest of us.

Time to stand your ground, Glenda - either retrieve those panties or replace them with even sexier, frillier ones to let your wife know in no uncertain terms that she is not the boss of you.

And while you're at it, shake the guilt over being a crossdresser, which is likely her pretext for lording it over you. There's nothing wrong with being transgender. It's WHO we are, and not a character flaw. Your wife is a bully. That's a behavior and WHAT she is. Bad behaviors can - and should - be changed.

Brilliant post Leslie

I'm really tired of posters , almost apologising for what they (we) are , seeking approval ,pleading for understanding , hiding this , hiding that .its pathetic

We are doing nothing wrong , and most likely the Op's missus got upset because the frilly stuff was prettier and more feminine than anything she has .

I know !! , I've been down that path

[StarrOfDelite]

While I think it is outrageous for one partner to a relationship to ravage the other partner's wardrobe, I offer this possible explanation.

What is the thing that most worries genetic females when they learn that their male partners are cross-dressing? "Is he Gay? Oh, my God, he's gay!"

It certainly seems to me that fancy silk and lace panties are what trans- models on porno sites wear when they are trying to attract male viewers to part with their cash for a subscription to a bunch of videos featuring men dressed as women having sex with men.

It seems to me that if your SO is a woman who already is predisposed to dislike the idea of a cross-dressing male partner, it's not unnatural for her to make the mental jump that you selected the fancy panties because you wanted to appear attractive to other men.

I don't mean to excuse her invasion of your personal space, merely to suggest an explanation for why she did it which relies more on an intuitive, instinctive reaction on her part instead of a calculated and premediated one.