Today has been a completely sucky day.
Today I lost another close, longtime friend to collateral damage.
Today I was reminded again just how hard, serious, life-altering, and crappy this tranny shit can really be.
Still, I am stronger than I have ever been before in my life. By far.
And I will become much more stronger yet in the future.
But I shall not do so this night.
Instead, I am taking a break from being strong this night.
This night I am giving in to the weakness.
This night I am allowing myself to cry it all out as I have done in the past.
This time, though, it is different.
This time, though, I am different.
Because this time I am okay with it.
Because this time I do not hate myself for being a tranny.
Because this time I do not wish to run away from it all.
Because this time I do not want to crawl under some rock and die.
Because this time I am not disgusted by myself or ashamed of my weakness.
And because this time I am weak under my own terms and conditions.
This time, in fact, I forgive myself for allowing myself to be weak.
And really, it's all okay, because tomorrow is a new day.
And when my alarm goes off in the morning, when I wake to greet the fresh, new day, I will go back to being strong again then.
I will do so because I now know I can do so, and I know I will do so.
But until then, I still have some more crying to do.
It's all good, though, and I get that.
Good night, y'all. Love you. <3