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Thread: How is, "Don't ask don't tell", working for u?

  1. #26
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
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    Wow, I can identify with that.

    Two of my adult children live at home. Both in their mid-30s, my son has yet to leave, my daughter has a child, a failed relationship, and came back home over a year ago. My son works the afternoon shift, and my daughter works the day shift. We care for our grandchild while she is gone. My other adult children live nearby and are likely to walk in to their old home at any time. I made a promise to my wife that I would not tell the children and the crossdressing would not come into the bedroom. Only my wife, therapist, and doctor know (and, of course, thousands of other crossdressers).

    I don't know how you are going to handle this Doc, I don't know how to handle my own.

    Best wishes
    MsVal

  2. #27
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    "do'task don't tell"

    I agree that it is your house and your rules. Let's talk about it next week when I come up.

  3. #28
    Just a touch of class Lynn Marie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarlaWestin View Post
    You mean as in, like, really dead? That just sounds sadly suicidal or just impulsively misspoken.
    Hi Carla, yeah, like really dead! Happily I don't live in any kind of DADT situation and I truly feel sorry for those who do. I've been free to live and do as I please for at least 3 years now. I have fabulous girlfriends of both the GG and the trans variety. I lived with a woman whom I didn't really like for years. I'm never going back to such and awful life. I'm so thankful for the life I'm able to live today. I wouldn't trade it for the world!

  4. #29
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Sherry, could you tell her exactly what you're telling us?

    You might explain that you are happy to comply with her preference to not see you, but that it puts you on pins and needles when she is gone ... you cannot relax because you are constantly looking out for her car. You might also explain that although you understand her disapproval, you could do without the lectures and eye rolling. You are, after all, an adult and you understand your own needs much better than her or anyone else.

    You might say there are many people who are like you, it is not an aberration nor is it a sickness, and there are lots of resources available on line for those who care to learn more about the crossdressing.

    http://crossdressersociety.com/crossdressing-faq
    http://www.chi-chapter.org/chi_chapter_perspective.html
    http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sexandrel...svesticism.htm
    http://www.tri-ess.org/docs/cd01.html

    So until she learns more and becomes more comfortable with the idea that you do crossdress (she still wouldn't have to see you if she doesn't want to), you would appreciate receiving a text message about 30 minutes before she comes home, to give you the chance to change and put the things away. You both share the house and you both have equal rights to live in peace.
    I don't have much to add to that, Reine pretty much has her finger on the situation. The crossdressing guilt you are feeling is partially your projection of how you see your daughter reacting. That guilt will only go away with her leaving the house or better understanding your situation, whether or not she accepts it. It sounds like there is a little work to do, but like so many other things I've seen you go through, I believe you are up to the challenge.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

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