If dressing makes you feel better.......

[ophelia]

Here's an interesting thing. In the Fall I went to Montreal, to the "gay"village" to get the works.....super highlughts, feminine cute, beautiful makeup and the people who did such a marvelous job turning me into Marylin Monroe's younger sister were so nice, and accepting, and almost blase...that a bit of the thrill, the danger, was diminshed. As therainbow flags fly higher and more often across North America will that energy of doing something werboten kill the thrill as BB King sings?

Roosevelt speaks truth tothe girlyman

[Jenniferathome]

... If dressing makes one feel better, you would think that would work for women too. ...

No Kate, one would not think that. The women to whom you re referring are not cross dressing. You can't relate the two things.

[ReineD]

... that women are conditioned to never feel they are good enough.

I totally agree with you that we are pelted with a rather fake ideal of what it is to be a beautiful woman, from the time we are young. It actually begins with the Barbie doll and her unrealistic body. So it is not surprising that many women are critical of themselves. Most of us do tend to outgrow the self-criticism though, as we age or as we gain more self-confidence.

I'm never sure how to react to stressful situations. I especially have a hard time figuring out what's supposed to make me mad, what I'm supposed to ignore, what's supposed to provoke an annoyed reaction, etc., etc., etc. In female mode, I can just act normal, and not have to worry about it.

I understand that you wish to present as a female. But can you not be your same self when you do present as a male? I assume you mean having qualities such as being kind, selfless, nurturing, not so competitive perhaps, etc. Can you not react to all situations as you do when you are dressed? If something doesn't make you angry when you're in male mode, then maybe you're just not angry.

My SO has told me that one of the reasons she tries to dress well is to appear attractive to men.
I would like to hear the GG's comment on this.

I agree that our very basic, fundamental nature as hetero human beings is to appeal to the opposite sex. We do want to find mates. And for many women (and men) that wiring never changes although the need to appear enticing in a sexual way (or for a man, to chase) tends to generally diminish with age.

For a fancy occasion, a young woman is more apt to dress like this. While an older woman will generally be more modest. And there is every age, body type, fashion style, and ways to send different messages in between.

But I think that a woman doesn't have to try so very hard to be appealing to men. Men notice attractive women, no matter how they're dressed. It's more about the face and the body, I think, than it is about the clothes for most men, even though I know that crossdressers are generally attracted to the clothes. I'm in my 50s now, but I did turn a few heads when I was younger. It didn't seem to make any difference what I wore.

Especially the ones in academia, 90% of their time.. they just dress in jeans and shirts and sneakers, because that's just the most comfortable way to work. The GG's working for companies only dress up a bit if they need to look professional for a presentation or when clients visit the office. They tell me that when they come home.. they just want to kick their shoes off, have a drink and food and relax for the rest of the evening.

How true!

Self-image is also part of it, and some GGs have difficulty with the fact that they cannot match the photoshop model standard. Their attitude becomes "why even make an attempt?" CDers come equipped with rather rosy glasses and have lower expectations for our appearance so any improvement through dress is seen as a positive.

This is true as well.

They are just cloths.......but they are also an indulgence for me. A rare pampering. A chance to wear soft nylon and silk. To wear things not for function but to decorate ones self.

The first time I put on a skirt made out of a ripped up t-shirt, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Eyeliner and lipstick? I just can't stop smiling. It just feels like such a relief, so harmonious.

And tomorrow I am going to be OUT enfemme from 11:00am to about 1:00am. In corset, forms, heels, stockings, makeup, false eyelashes, false nails, shoes and purse to match and coordinated with my dress, a matching floppy hat, a wispy summer dress, bling, "to the nines". Changing in to another outfit for dinner, changing in to club wear after dinner. Nines time three equals SUCH FUN!

But for cross-dressers, especially part-timers, it's just more exciting.

Spoken like true crossdressers! But although we GGs do enjoy dressing up, and of course the degree and frequency of dressing up depends on social circumstance and age, I don't think we ever feel the same way or as strongly about it as you do.

[Teresa]

Reine can you explain why my wife along with with most women don't dress down when they go for a girl's night out ?
She still wears as much makeup and usually her latest perfume and outfit ! When I comment on how nice she looks she usually says they're not new things, she tends to forget I know her wardrobe as well as she does !
Do you have that problem as well ?

[Confucius]

When a male non-cder wears pretty feminine clothes, he doesn't feel anything special, just embarrassment. For him cross-dressing is just a humiliating form of torture which is against the Geneva Convention and was used illegally in Abu Graib prison.

When a woman wears pretty feminine clothes, she doesn't feel excited nor does it raise her sex drive. Women are judged by their appearance so dressing up makes them feel confident, competent, and improves their self-esteem.

When a male cder wears pretty feminine clothing his brain releases a host of neurotransmitters. It's just as if his brain was interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. His brain releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters produce the sensations of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification, and bonding. It affects the reward centers of his brain, and thus it mimics the addiction response. If he does the same thing over and over again, then his brain will fatigue and release less neurotransmitters. In order to keep the level of neurotransmitters high, he needs to vary the experience with new clothing items, and greater risks. The situation with crossdressers is unique to this group and cannot be compared to the experience by females or non-cders. It only goes to prove that crossdresser's brains are hard-wired differently.

[Betty IA]

Male clothing is rough and bulky. Female clothing is light and tantalizing to more than one sense at a time. That pretty much sums it up. I'm cooler in the summer when dressed properly and even in the winter under a long coat I have found that ladies' clothing feels warmer due to it being more form-fitting and having the extra layer of the forms, bra and wig.

[Isabella Ross]

A strange thing happened when I started to dress openly at home. My wife, a beautiful woman who has long complained about the drudgery of getting ready for work, started to dress up more at home...and really get into. She hasn't done that for a long time. We have date nights at home where we both dress to the nines, and she absolutely radiates beauty. And when we go out to a party or dinner, etc., as a couple (me in man clothes), she makes more of an effort these days...and when I compliment her, she'll say with a wink, "you just wish you could look like me tonight!" Of course, she's right.

[deebra]

CD's feel SEXY when they dress, that's why they dress and it makes them feeeeeel so good and it's also a little bid of doing something that is forbidden. When a man looks at a beautiful, curvy well built woman and her clothes enhances all of this he is very much drawn to what he sees and we as CD's want to be like her as well. Male clothes are just the opposite of hers, dark, rough, loose; where hers are soft, colorful, revealing and hug her body to make her feel very sexually desirable and having this power to attract males and be envious of other females. To look like a calendar girl, yea, sign me up!!!!!

[Kris Avery]

A strange thing happened when I started to dress openly at home. My wife, a beautiful woman who has long complained about the drudgery of getting ready for work, started to dress up more at home...and really get into. She hasn't done that for a long time. We have date nights at home where we both dress to the nines, and she absolutely radiates beauty. And when we go out to a party or dinner, etc., as a couple (me in man clothes), she makes more of an effort these days...and when I compliment her, she'll say with a wink, "you just wish you could look like me tonight!" Of course, she's right.

Bridgette, ABSOLUTELY! That part is hard isn't it?

[Emi_]

Cross-dressing is not therapy and dresses are not anti-depressants. The joy comes from being yourself at your very best and I know that women who look a way that they think is great also express a commensurate joy about themselves. The tendency among cross-dressers is to focus so intensely on their dressing that they amplify the importance of a pile of cloth as if it were manna from heaven.