Read through the therapist's credentials and his Facebook and website page. If he doesn't say gender issues--assume he has no expertise in that area. Gay lesbian issues are OK, but not gender issues.
Read through the therapist's credentials and his Facebook and website page. If he doesn't say gender issues--assume he has no expertise in that area. Gay lesbian issues are OK, but not gender issues.
I don't know about all therapists but it has been my experience that many do need therapy themselves for various issues.Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
Just talk about anything you want for 45 mins. All therapists are crazy.They have to be analyzed themselves before opening a practice. They are a sounding board for you mostly, you make all decisions.
I agree that a therapist mainly plays the roll of a sounding board but you can be your own sounding board provided you can be totally honest with yourself and have a least one foot firmly planted in reality .
Last edited by Barbara Jo; 07-26-2014 at 10:08 AM.
Great! I can agree with two posters in one quote. My first encounter with therapy in my early twenties was actually beneficial. Because the therapist was Freudian (bogus) and felt that crossdressing was unnecessary, it was easy to declare myself as a bold gender explorer that believed crossdressing is a fabulous gift. Also, I confirmed that Freud and, for the most part all therapists, are miseducated scammers whose only purpose is to create income for themselves. My wife sees a therapist that also specializes in gender issues. She's a nice lady, the therapist, and occasionally I'm invited to a group meeting. It's amazing to me to hear the psychological cornering techniques employed in her analysis. I generally just listen along, memorizing everything that's said so I can surgically expose all of the contradictions which allows me the opportunity to question the validity of her education. Really, having someone to talk to about crossdressing is just wonderful. That's why I'm on this board. But, I have no tolerance for anyone that thinks I'm of diminished integrity because of my broad gender encompassment.
Yeah, YMMV
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
I would like to share another observation. Yes, some part of therapy is providing a sounding board, but there is far more involved than offering empathy. Early in therapy, after several sessions where I basically wasted time lamenting the state of my life, my psychologist asked a very pointed question: "what is the purpose of therapy?" My flippant and somewhat sarcastic response was, "to make me happy". She responded, "No, it it's to help you accept reality."
In that case the reality was a the end of a marriage and the reality of being transgendered. In the process of learning to accept those realities I was eventually able to move on, form a new and enduring relationship, and replace self loathing with self acceptance. It was work...it took several years, but in the end, it has been worth the effort.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I had a few sessions with a therapist. The goal was to help me transition, so the therapist mostly offered practical advice rather than emotional support. I recently decided to put transition plans on hold and stopped seeing my therapist; if I ever decide to press ahead again I'll probably start therapy again.
I found the overall experience fairly useful, although my therapist was very opinionated and liked to talk, which I found a bit annoying. I didn't find it awkward in the slightest; I even showed up a couple of times as Dianne and it was completely OK.
One thing you should keep in mind: You need to find the right therapist. There's no harm or shame in trying a few; if you don't feel completely comfortable with the therapist then it'll probably do more harm than good to keep seeing him/her.
Hmm. Let me hop back in here. My best experience from therapy was the very first minute of my very first therapy appointment.
The psychiatrist said, "What we do here is get to the heart of the matter."
The Heart Of The Matter. I've used this one singular life rule to my benefit ever since. Cut to the chase and discard the BS.
This is probably the greatest key to success a person can possess.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
There is a lot of wisdom in this statement. It can be applied to so many things besides gender encompassment.
Thanks, Carla!
I successfully searched for a psychologist with gender experience when my wife threatened suicide after I talked to her about wanting to restart dressing.
The four sessions I had were very helpful. The highlight for me of the first session was being told that there was nothing wrong with me and that there was no cure or need for one. That was important to hear from a professional. Her assessment of my wife's threat and what to do proved perceptive and gave me the strategies I needed to cope and influence. Feeling comfortable and with her support, I attended the second and subsequent sessions dressed. She used the experience to educate her staff and thanked me for trusting her and her team.
So Melodie, deep breaths and relax. Use the time wisely to learn about yourself and learn to respect and enjoy your difference.
Last edited by Michelle (Oz); 07-26-2014 at 11:33 AM.
I've seen several therapists and I've been very happy with them
The first one basically got me to the point where I was comfortable with myself, not just accepting, but comfortable. Oh, and every once in a while I would got to my appointment dressed.
The second one was a little unconventional. At the end of the very first session, she told me I was gay, but that there was nothing wrong with being gay. I was really taken aback by that assertion. It led me to run an experiment to assess whether I was gay or not. I determined that I wasn't. It got to the point where I wasn't getting anything more out of the sessions, so I stopped. But, after the first session, I dressed for every session.
The last one was selected to have some joint sessions with my wife. We each had some sessions separately, and then we had some jointly. My wife moved from dislike to reluctant acceptance, which allows me to go out on various CDing adventures.
While many people say a therapist is supposed to be a sounding board, my view is a little different. She (all my therapists have been she, because I feel that a woman will be less judgmental than a man) should be able to offer you ways to understand your concerns, coping strategies and politely saying BS when you're lying to yourself and her. She should ask you questions so the answers help you. She should be non-judgmental. If she says being gay or TG or CD is bad, run fast and don't return.
Also, if you're planning on having a "discussion" with your SO that might turn into an argument, use your therapist as a referee.
Make sure that the therapist has experience with TG/CD/TS or however you might want to label yourself. The therapy session should be helping you; you should not have to teach her.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
It saved my marriage, The key is to find a therapist that is experienced with Gender issues. I picked one listed on a gender support website. She put us at ease quickly. She was very professional. For insurance purposes she said she would use the diagnosis code of depression. Not a lie, just not stating the reason for the depression.
When you think about it. They are supposed to be non-judgemental. So...why not go to most all of your sessions dressed?
I missed some great opportunities. Sad. One counselor even convinced me to purge and read a book on sexual addiction.
Wish I had come here first. Still miss that brown human hair wig and a great picture from my first makeover.
I am on my third one. I saw the first one for about a year at first for other issues but then CDing came up. She was not very familiar with gender issues and eventually I felt like she was not listening to me, always late for appointments, and rushing me out the door. The second, who I found on Psychology Today, showed up 15 minutes late to each app't and took DAYS to return messages, so I was done with her. The third, I've been to twice, and I love her. She's professional, takes notes, does research on topics between appointments, and listens. She doesn't rush me, and she has no preconceived judgments. I've gotten more out of two sessions with her than I did with over 12 from the other two. She actually has a PLAN to help me figure out what's going on and how to deal with it.
Hi, everyone thanks to the calming supportive inputs, I just came back from my first therapy session and it was not a problem at all.
Although I didn't feel as if she understood me....within the first couple minutes we were able to assess that I do want to start HRT and that it actually IS the right choice for me which is what I wanted in the first place.
WOW, that was fast and easy LOL.
But what I found weird was that if that is the case... why did she want me to come bring my guitar to the next session and play for her..?
I told her that music has helped me voice my honest self and express myself in a thought and anxiety free manner.
I also told her that I am WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over the depression and I am just ready to be myself and move on with my life and that the reason I want to take HRT
is because I draw the line in SRS and breast implants and surgeries. I don't want to take away my male parts because that is a part of who I am in this life also and I would not want to take that away from me.
I told her after a lot of research and talking to transgender people I am aware of the side effects and complications it CAN cause. Regardless it is the closest thing for me on my journey to transitioning without SRS or surgeries.
She tells me I'm still suffering from depression from all the bullying even though I told her I lost over 100 pounds and run over 15 miles a week and that I strive to become happy and to be a better person, and now I actually give a crap about my life, whereas before I let myself go and just never gave a **** and just did drugs for years straight.
I could really use some advice... I am not sure if my therapists understands me or not...
Hi Melodie, There are two kinds of therapist, The ones that tell you what they think
and the ones that tell you what you want to hear.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
While I haven't gone to therapy for gender identity issues, I've gone for other reasons. Therapy works best if its with someone you interact well with so don't feel like you have to stay with a single therapist if you don't feel a connection. To get the most out of your session, try to be as honest as you can. That should help achieve the best results. Talking with someone will really help getting all of those bottled-up emotions out which is healthier for you. Don't be surprised if you feel like a wrung out sponge at the end of the session (emotionally exhausted). That's a good thing! Good luck!
Hi Ryce, thanks so much for your input
Although I have no bottled up emotions I will definitely look for a new therapist I can connect with.
Thank you for your advice <3
Then there are there therapists who neither tell you what they thing, or what you want to hear, but help you clarify what you do think and assist you with your choices. That's much of the way I work, anyway
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
I have spoken to therapists about a myriad of things.
Their first aim is to create a good relationship with you and then get to the root of the problem.
This can take two or three or more sessions to evolve.
I have only had therapy by practicing students at a university for supposed disorders to my psyche.
Cross dressing never was in the subject matter.
I was never cured of anything.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I found a fantastic therapist but she is about 1.5 hours away from me - worth the drive! I would recommend therapy with an "alternative lifestyle" friendly therapist to anyone here. If nothing else it is someone (or another someone) who can be comfortable knowing the real you.
Now if I just had the courage to show up dressed...
Best thing I ever did....... I was so full of guilt and dysphoria it was killing me.
My therapist pushed me very hard to figure out who I wanted to be, and then gave me the best advise - "Give yourself permission to be happy with who you are"
Thank you Neala.....
Well, it's definitely good to see all these responses. I totally avoided the "topic" with my therapist and should I ever start seeing one again, it's the 1st thing I will bring up. Anyone feedback is appreciated
And I don't want to be cured by any means...just need to have that feeling of expressing, discovering with someone who is empathic and no judgment.
Yeah...so sorry to hear this. There are some real duds out there...
I wish I could speak to a therapist,but I am afraid? I have been in the closet for years,I started wearing mothers clothes at
a very early age.I would dress fully in one of her outfits,and borrow a fresh pkg of pantyhose out of her drawer&wear her heels,as well
Looking to find a therapist in NYC area.
It has been a completely positive experience for me. A good therapist will not judge, will help you understand things better. There is no reason to feel anxious.
Michaella
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