which brain drives you?

[Amanda L.]

Ok this is something that I have noticed with me of late. In male mode I think like a man, that is wear the first thing I see, or is on the floor. Don't spend time coordinating this with that, hell go without shaving some days. I am usually to the point, speak my mind and can be single minded about what I expect. In other words I don't take s^%$.
Then there's the Amanda brain. She is caring, understanding, loves to shop and takes time getting make up and outfits right (at least tries bless her). My thinking is poles apart. When I am dressed my train of thinking becomes decidedly more feminine. I appreciate the efforts of others on this forum and the lengths they go to in making themselves as female as they can. My comments and praise of their efforts is genuine and spoken in my feminine 'voice'. I can even admire and take styling cues from the girls on this site. In fact I see the girls on this site as girls! I see myself as a girl!
Male me reflects back on this and thinks WTF! but its Amanda who is control of the keyboard and it is my thoughts derived from my female brain.
I know there is only one me but the way I flip and flop from one mindset to the other amazes me to say the least.
I love crossdressing. I love my Amanda self and I love this Forum.
Thanks for reading my rant. I would love to read your thoughts
Amanda
X

[Mia27]

This is almost exactly like how i am!!! In guy mode, i hike, repair my own truck, smoke cigars and bullshit all the time. And be as manly as possible. But as Mia... i want to be cute, warm and feminine as possible. I love makeup and all kinds of clothes i love girly things as Mia. But as soon as its over being Mia... i think to myself... Why the hell did i just do that!! And as time rolls over again, I become Mia and love it They are pratically two different people inside me:P But it makes life so much fun! and confusing!! haha

[ptp009]

I do the same thing smoke cigars and all man stuff but when I come out as Jenn its me in all my fem glory. Jenn

[mariehart]

Funnily enough I was thinking about that very topic this morning. I actually tried to get into 'man mode'. But I couldn't. There's only 'me mode' LOL!

I guess that's what makes me TS.

[noeleena]

Hi,

So If no womans clothes what then , so as a guy what changes , now your talking about your brain okay , heres the ? how are you hard wired, are you hard wired as a male or as a female ,

You see this does not work because you seem to swap and change yet if you stand in front of a mirror how do you see your self with nothing on , you like this male man you ,so you put the womens clothes on and you are acting a part that you like to act out,

So were does the real world start and finish , i would say many of you would make very good actors something i cant do , and never tryed to be a male or act as one, im wired in one way and that cant change ,so i can only wonder .....

whats it like to be a male what makes you.... you .... oh well i,ll never know ......

...noeleena...

[Katey888]

Interesting perspective, Amanda - I think this 'one brain - two sides of a personality' view comes up often here, perhaps for obvious but differing reasons.

Personally, I don't seem to have these two modes - at least, not in terms of thought processes and mindset... I admit it is a completely different story in terms of presentation - that, for me, is a complete focus on being as feminine in appearance as possible - but I'm not aware of my perspective changing...

The way I think of it, there's a voice in my head that's 'me' - while the physical presentation may vary hugely, that voice has the same tone and nature, and actually seems quite non-gender-specific (no doubt someone will tell me that having any voice in my head makes me as fruity as a nutcake, but wth.. ) I think this difference amongst us is fascinating, but does it mean anything...?

Is there a possibility (and I mean this in the nicest, most objective way I can..) that some of us having very overt, public-facing, male (and possibly macho?) sides is just a little denial of a truly more deep-seated and feminine personality that is being over-compensated for..?

I dunno... I do know I can't think of anything more objectionably 'male' than smoking cigars... but that's just me..

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Amanda . . . very interesting topic. For me I have never felt "split brained" or more masculine "en boy" (whatever that means) and more feminine "en girl" (whatever that means) . There is only me and my personality does not change albeit the presentation does. I have the same likes and dislikes "en femme" as I do "en boy", granted there are some things I will only do "en boy" (e.g., work out, hiking, and general outdoor stuff) not because I don't like it as Isha but for pragmatic reasons (too much hassle to do so with make-up and a wig).

When I am out with my GG friends as Isha the topic of conversation may be (not always) different from what I experience with my male friends but I do enjoy my conversations with them as our likes are similar. Conversely when I am with these same ladies "en boy" we still talk about the same things and I still participate and enjoy these talks. On the flip side when I am with my guy friends we talk about similar things (some differences) and I enjoy these conversations both "en boy" and as Isha. Most of male friends have seen and interacted with Isha and while they were a little "weirded out" at first they no longer differentiate between my boy and girl side (with the exception of using gender proper pronouns and the appropriate name.)

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

My brain used to be fractionated into two different poles. Once I amalgamated my feelings I was a better and stronger person all the way around. Try it, you may like it.

[Laura J]

I'm always just ..me.. Mind you I have never smoked or drank anyway...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Amanda, If you change the name Amanda to Orchid that would be my story.

[kimdl93]

Not remotely so. I'm pretty consistent in behavior. I have relatively less interest in male stuff regardless of how I'm dressed and relatively more interest in women's stuff...stuff encompassing everything. But I recognize that I'm a blend and present to make accommodations for the expectations of others.

[devida]

Like Isha and katey I don't change personalities when I change my clothes. I do understand the usefulness of having a masculine and feminine self for people who do identify strongly with one or the other binaries. I don't really identify with male or female and I have long and complicated rants about the hardships the binaries cause that I will do you the favor of not inflicting upon you! What I most like about this forum is that it teaches me tolerance and broadens my mind because of the diversity of opinion and people here. It is still astonishing to me that there is so much diversity among cross dressers and the transgendered folk here. It is really wonderful.

[MissTee]

I think I am somewhat similar. If I viewed my thoughts and behaviors on a continuum there are three dimensions. All male, blended male/female, all female. Since I love fishing and a good shoe sale, an afternoon at Bass Pro and the nearby DSW will have me continuum surfing like a champ

[Renee Elise]

Love this...Amanda and others I too feel very much the same. My guy side is dominant, cool and collected, in command suited up and ready to take on the world...love whiskey, cigars, cars, power tools and diy projects, guns, fishing, etc...becoming Renee feels so different, girly, soft, perhaps a bit more bubbly and sentimental, sensuous, a tad obsessed with heels, and more comfortable being fashion conscious. And both sides (yin/yang of one person with two poles) are fused together with a common love of wine, women, music, cooking, good books, and a sense of fashion. It's so fun being able to make the switch...when I am able to be completely feminine for awhile it's amazing how much more relaxed and patient I feel. Both sides compliment each other pretty well.

[Renee Elise]

I think I am somewhat similar. If I viewed my thoughts and behaviors on a continuum there are three dimensions. All male, blended male/female, all female. Since I love fishing and a good shoe sale, an afternoon at Bass Pro and the nearby DSW will have me continuum surfing like a champ

Hehe, I'm with you...Cabela's and Victoria's Secret would be pretty awesome!

[carhill2mn]

I don't know if one side of my brain is more active than the other depending upon how I am presenting. I do know that my actions, voice tone and inflections, manner of choosing what to wear, manner in which I interact with others, etc. are very different when I am presenting as a woman than when presenting as a man. I think that these are all a result of playing the role of a woman or a man. when in society.

[Alice Torn]

I ca n pretty much relate, but, in guy mode, i am just as picky about color coordinating my guy clothes, as i am about lady clothes. I work on my car, fish, dig worms, all the blue collar guy stuff, too. Maybe becoming a little like Kate!

[Wildaboutheels]

The only one I have. But it's perfectly understandable that so many here, SEEM to have split personalities. It's actually to be EXPECTED. National Geographic Channel's BRAIN GAMES illustrates all the different ways our Human Brains protect us from ourselves [numerous times every day] in every single episode. The third season just started last Monday.

How our Brains actually WORK is now well studied and well understood thanks in large part to the ever increasing use of fMRIs and the better imaging techniques being used. They are even scanning the brains of specially trained pooches now. It's to be expected that few CDers watch the show. They DID have a few CDers in one episode simply to PROVE how little the average Joe or Jane on the street will notice.

Don't know if you can get the show in Australia but you can probably find it at your local library. Unless they have changed, only teasers are shown online.

Our Brains just DON'T do things arbitrarily.

[Donnagirl]

Hi Amanda,

Like most, I don't think there is a schizophrenic, split personality happening, however there is definitely a difference in likes and dislikes between boy me and Donna, a definite change in how I act, I'm calmer and more relaxed. I put a lot of this down to the idea that dressing as Donna gives me licence to shed that mass of male 'BS' I carry every day.

Boy me had developed over many years and has some quite bad habits and bad attitudes, many of these I don't like. I'm a grumpy, moody control freak as a boy. I swear too much, I have a short temper and enjoy situations where I get paid to be really quite unpleasant to people (bad guys and criminals!!). I think, subconsciously, I hide these as Donna and try to push to the forefront the opposite.

I do think that even as Donna these 'nasty' parts of boy me are there... (This may show its self if there is ever a 'confrontation' out as Donna.)

[Renee Elise]

Is there a possibility (and I mean this in the nicest, most objective way I can..) that some of us having very overt, public-facing, male (and possibly macho?) sides is just a little denial of a truly more deep-seated and feminine personality that is being over-compensated for...

As always veddy interesting point Katey...growing up I remember enjoying both things that were "boyish" (Super Mario, legos, tonka trucks, hunting and fishing] as well as more girlish [doing hair, cooking, playing with girl cousins things that they enjoyed]. From the young age I think those of us that are inclined in both directions, and would inherently be more well rounded, talented, creative, etc are taught through peer pressure to suppress the things that "don't compute." Some of us just can't let go of those because we enjoyed them so we develop our secret identities.

Probably one of the worst things is this idiotic stereotype that fashion sense / interest in feminine things equals being gay. I think for those of us that both love women and have a distinct feminine aspect we are troubled and confused by that thought / perception so we bury that part of ourselves in favor of the masculine. Trouble is for those of us with strong inclinations in both directions the masculine side suffers as a result.

[Tina G]

Possibly i used to have the two brains driving me but it doesn't seem that way now at all. Even when i'm in guy mode I still think like a woman.

Tina

[Alex Dorset]

I'm much more concerned about, and aware of, my appearence when dressed - it seems to me that overcoming my lazy, not to say slovenly, normal self is part of the thrill and the challenge of cross-dressing. I choose to wear things that I'm concious of wearing - lined skirts that rustle when I walk, high-heeled shoes, corsets, etc. that make me stand or sit upright and not slouch. Up to that point, I agree with you, Amanda.

Do I interact differently with others when dressed? Hard to say, since I don't go out like this. However, if I'm talking to someone on the phone while dressed, or writing an e-mail or a forum posting, then I don't think I speak or think differently. What I do notice is that I tend to behave in a slightly opposite fashion to those around me. When male friends are getting competitive or intolerant, I'm the one arguing for consideration and harmony; when female friends are faffing around being "touchy-feely", then I'm the one trying to cut to the chase. Maybe I'm just contrary?

[CynthiaD]

I'm pretty much the same all the time, but as time goes on I find myself becoming more feminine, regardless of mode. OK, I tend to slip back into my male mannerisms somewhat when in male mode, but less and less as time goes on.

[Kris Avery]

I would agree with the concept of feeling the 'inner girl' 24/7 - no matter what I'm wearing.
She is very strong and absolutely dominant over the 'guy body' that people see.
I like to think that she ran off or killed the 'original boy' many years ago.

I cherish this mindset and associated feelings as I think it makes me a better person.

It's fun to be able to have the freedom to wear the things that I want.
Does it change me? I don't think so. The SO might disagree but I don't think so.