Must be a "photograph a tranny" contest going on this week, some jerkoff at the restaurant where we were eating was giggling and snapping photos of us. Not our week, apparently...
Must be a "photograph a tranny" contest going on this week, some jerkoff at the restaurant where we were eating was giggling and snapping photos of us. Not our week, apparently...
Pay attention to who you are trying to please and why. If some stranger has a problem with you, then *they* have a problem.. with YOU.
Their issue, not yours.
You don't *ever* have to apologize for who you are, and if someone expects that of you, stick a beautiful, sequined, 4" heel up their nose.
<3
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
Just ignore them about pictures...But refusing service is a different matter...
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
There will always be pricks. It is annoying to deal with them but you just kind of have to see it as an annoying part of life.
The ones taking photos -
They are probably the SAME ones who clog the web with photos of every single thing they see everyday. Photos of some trans person will get lost in the shuffle before they are done even uploading.
Incidents at Walmart - It is Walmart. It is the cesspool of the economic world. Last time I was at walmart, some big ol fat woman and some old lady were laughing and Miss Fatso said, "Now I have seen everything". That cow probably hasn't seen her own feet in years and she is entertained by a TG? Oh well, it is Walmart.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
Again? Sorry this keeps happening to you.Originally Posted by PaulaQ
Its been quite a while since I had the experience of people being so blatantly rude. I used to try and ignore it, but I am not so sure I would today. People don't intimidate me so much anymore.
Thanks Theresa. Crap like this two days in a row is a new record for me. Just bad luck I suppose, or maybe the recent exposure of trans* in the media has made certain rather mean spirited people try to spot us for ridicule.
It really doesn't bother me, it bothers some of my friends more. Some people are just mean, and that's really all you can say about it. I only really worry about physical threats. Petty little things like microagressions aren't really worth that much worry.
I started this thread just because I was curious how often stuff like this happened to others here.
Persephone's Law: In general, the obervation and attention of others will increase by the square of the number of CD/TG/TS people present; so two are four times as likely to be noticed, three are nine times as likely to be noticed, etc.
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
@Persephone - I realize your law is pretty accurate, but to me, good times with friends I love is more important than stealth, even if it means we get harassed at times.
Nothing like that has happened to me yet, its bound to at some point.
I don't go to LGBT places or spend time with TG/TS/TV people generally, not sure if that makes a difference but going by the replies it seems that it does.
Next week I'm seeing a friend and she has some other friends coming along (all trans). We will be going to a restaurant so I will see if there is any extra attention, I highly suspect there will be.
Michelle.M,
Thanks, those are good points.
A few weeks back I was in a local town renown for it's arts and alterative lifestyle communities (New Hope, PA). As I walking back to my car after a fruitless hour trying to find the perfect anniversary gift for my wife, I notice a 20-something couple staring at me while I walk up the hill to the parking lot. The woman starts fumbling for her purse and pulls out her phone, and I say to myself, "she really wants a picture of me."
She sees me looking at her and immediately turns to take a picture of the blank wall next to her. Obviously a master of subtlety. As I reached them (they were walking the opposite direction from me) I almost turn to say something; there was a time when my reaction would have been fairly hostile, but I chose not to and just kept walking while she took pictures of my back.
I was telling my therapist that the next time this happens I may just confront the gawker and ask exactly what it is about me the find amusing, threatening, scary, funny, etc. Or just comment on their usually exceptionally poor fashion choices.
Yes! It doesn't stop me either! Enjoy your friends!
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
Just to clarify a couple of things - the places where we've been harassed have not been LGBT friendly venues here in the 'hood where I live. Everyone here is really sweet.
The encounter in Uptown, which is really mostly straight folks, young professionals, kind of surprised us, because most of the people over there are really pretty cool. (Many of them hit the gay dance clubs too, because they are fun.) I feel I add local color there, and having someone like me show up who's queer as a pink three dollar bill with RuPaul's portrait on it gives 'em something to talk about and helps them justify the inflated rental prices they are paying.
The one yesterday was in Highland Park - which is an extremely conservative part of Dallas, on a par with Plano.
As long as nobody gets violent, it doesn't really bother me, but I feel bad for my friends. I guess they'll eventually get used to it.
Dallas as a whole is a fairly safe place to be trans, but there are just a few areas you have to avoid. If you are passing by a Baptist church large enough to be seen from earth orbit, you are probably not in a safe area. Likewise, a couple of the minority neighborhoods aren't safe either. But in fairness, they aren't safe for the people who live in them, either, unfortunately.
edit: I only mention the minority neighborhoods because one of my friends has this insane desire to try on a Quinceanera dress. Every time we pass a shop that sells these gowns, she wants to stop and try 'em on, and we have to convince her of two truisms:
1. They'll probably kill all of us.
2. There is no 15 year old Hispanic girl who's as big as my friend is. There's no way any of 'em will be her size, even were they to let her try one of them on.
This happens to us, a lot.
Last edited by PaulaQ; 07-29-2014 at 12:33 PM.
I on the other hand would not hesitate to call it a distinct aggression.
I can suggest a bunch of "What I would have done" (e.g., ask them to produce the Model Release Form required to take your picture), but I don't know what I would really have done in response. I have not had that kind of thing happen to me for a good six years now.
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I could say some good and bad things about Plano vs trans people, but it's really not my story to tell.
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