Wonderful post Gendermutt. I feel a sense of acceptance now too, after a long period of feeling badly. It is nice to know that you are beginning to find a sense of peace. I wish youall the best going forward.
Carlene..
Wonderful post Gendermutt. I feel a sense of acceptance now too, after a long period of feeling badly. It is nice to know that you are beginning to find a sense of peace. I wish youall the best going forward.
Carlene..
If I've learned anything at all my friend, I've learned that the greatest assessor of who we are as a man, or a woman for that matter is we, ourselves.Go with the flow.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
GM, I'm really glad that you've got to that point. It is a very good place to be. You've written out my thoughts almost exactly.
Christen x
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.” - Rumi.
Being macho or masculine does not make us a good person. The important thing is to lead a productive and useful life. A life that we can take pride in.
I find that I am not a masculine person, and I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with it.
What a place of peace to inhabit. The journey so far has led you somewhere good. I have come to realise that it is unhelpful to judge ourselves one way or the other. We are complex, a mixture, good and bad, male and female, weak and strong, selfish and caring and so on. Balances shift, circumstances encourage and discourage. If there is a secret it is about keeping faith with oneself, being honest about how it is at the time and thinking of safety and consequences.
For me, sometimes I just need to remind myself that I deserve to be happy. It's a shame that many of us feel we should be ashamed of what we do or how we feel. Reaffirming that we have a right to happiness just like everyone else is important. I'm sure many of us have felt as you have and we are all here to support each other.
I never had gender issues until I was over 50. Growing up without them, I never struggled to "be a man" as many of u have. I knew early on I was no big stud. And, as an average guy I was not very attractive. But, I noticed by my late teens, that those things didn't stop me from being a success at whatever I wanted to do. Which included dating attractive women.
If I wanted it badly enuff, it happened!
U can invent/use all sorts of reasons/excuses why u haven't been successful at whatever u wanted to do. But, in my experience the folks that aren't successful seem to constantly get in their own way!And, that is the main reason we often fail!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Good read, all i have to say is i've accepted who i am as well and moving forward each day.
Tina
I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will.
I can definitely relate. I struggled with guilt and low self esteem for many years because of this. I even joined the military trying to be "macho" and super masculine. It wasn't until my mid 40's that I started to accept myself and stopped trying to fight it. Just because somebody is different, doesn't mean they are a bad person or a failure. I occasionally have a negative view of myself creep back, but now its just a fleeting thought and not all consuming like before.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I was not much of a man, I felt as you do, when the girls dressed me up and my popularity grew I knew I had arrived.... As a girl.
The transformation to manhood was all in my mind, I was admired as a man who could pass as a woman if need be.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Thank you for the many heart warming replies. Gender issues can and are for me a struggle at times. They likely always will be to some extent. My wife will likely have struggles with this, although she accepts that I have gender issues and continues to plan a future with me for as long as we are alive. For her she feels that all will be ok so long as my gender issues/femininity/dressing do not become more important in my life than her. That I am always able to be her husband. Also, that the physical aspect is likely something she will never be able to deal with (dressing around her) and I will have to accept that. I guess overall it is fair.
I now have that one horrible thing removed (mostly) out of my head- that I am a failure because of my femininity and gender issues. I do have to still remind myself at times, but, I now find myself more calm and able to think through everyday life issues and deal with them better than I ever have. Still doesn't make life issues easy, and gender issues are still hard to deal with at times. But now at least, I don't have a failure tag hanging over my head. I have this community to thank in large part for this, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
Me too. What's completely fascinating is when women use the phrase, basically insulting themselves at the same time.Originally Posted by kimdl93
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
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