OK, two part question for this oneOriginally Posted by BillieAnneJean's Signature
Relating to your transgenderism
and
Relating to your activities outside of the world of the transgendered
OK, two part question for this one
Relating to your transgenderism
and
Relating to your activities outside of the world of the transgendered
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
Hmmmm.... i would say this forum fills a very obvious need for us. Therefore if it wasnt around someone else would create a similar forum. Heck i would create a forum if this one went down permanently.
However i think the spirit of the question is how would we cope. It would be more difficult to navigate the CD/Trans life without this place. The thoughts here give insight to our motivations and that has helped me appreciate the diversity of the gender spectrum. In short this place has opened my mind and heart. Which is something we all need to experience.
I am almost completely closeted, so other than my recent first-time-out while out of town, this forum is my primary lifeline so I know I'm not alone in this.
If I had not found this forum I would have continued to believe I was very odd and very confused.
Let me explain. There is no other place on the web that shows Trans* people as fairly normal, albeit having an unusual means of expression. The others places show "us" as well endowed, sexually active, promiscuous young men, where in actuality we run the gamut of activity, monogamy, age, and size. I would have believed that because I wasn't endowed, active, promiscuous, or young that I must not be trans*. I would have continued to think that I was very odd and quite confused about what I am.
Knowing that I am among many others with the same feelings, and having a convenient way to discuss them in a non-judgmental place gives me strength. It is much easier to accept myself for who I am. That, in turn gives me peace.
I don't know how to interpret the second clause. There have been several tangential changes. I have been more open and honest with my wife. I have a better appreciation for the struggles of other minorities, and the struggles of those suffering from emotional or mental illness.
Oh, one more thing... If this forum did not exist, I would have a lot more time to get a lot more accomplished. <grin>
Best wishes
MsVal
Last edited by DAVIDA; 08-12-2014 at 04:42 AM. Reason: There is no need to quote the OP.
How true. Before I found this site, I thought that I was almost alone in me desires
to wear female clothes. My first wife thought that I was a crazy sissy, and out of my mind.
This forum has brought dignity to me wearing female clothing. I am very glad it is here
Rader
Probably dead by now. I had gotten to the point where I didn't care if I woke up or not. I am now post-op and grateful for every minute of life.
Brighid
Hmmm, I guess I would be floundering around the Internet looking for the insights and the camaraderie I have found here. I had come to grips with being transgendered, but before coming here, I was having a much more difficult time seeing the possibilities of life, certainly not seeing the possibilities of living openly and happily as TG.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
A few years behind where I am...feeling I was "different"
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I'd be at best royally screwed. A year ago I had no trust in people, I had no way of knowing how to, nor the courage to contact a gender specialist. I really am grateful for the forum, and all the help I received on here, to help me to accept myself, as well as for leading me to go see a therapist and join a local support group.Relating to your transgenderism
I'd probably go to one AA meeting a week, and maybe eat Korean BBQ occasionally. And Work. Otherwise, I basically had no life. Now I feel like I have too much life going on lolol.Relating to your activities outside of the world of the transgendered
I've finally mastered the art of making salads. My favorite is a delicious Mediterranean salad.
Difficult to say. When the internet exploded and discussion forums popped up everywhere it was good to find kindred spirits on the same road. When like minds get together they share ideas and experiences and everyone benefits. This forum is one of the larger ones for crossdressers. I do believe that if it were not here and available for crossdressers to use, another forum would take it's place simply because of the large amount of people looking for a CD TG forum. I'm glad I found it and have learned a lot from the members here, that said, I'm sure the members here would likely find a similar forum and get together if this one was not here.
In a very different place, surely. I've known since my early teens that I wasn't the only transvestite in the world. (That's what we were called back then, the early 60s.) But I thought they were all like me, isolated and alone. I was deleriously happy to discover that there could be community and camaraderie between CDs.
I would have a few less friends that i met in person from here and a few less pen pals from far away places....
I would probably be in more or less the same place I am now, except I would be posting the occasional picture one less place online. :P
Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.
I actually met my first CD friends over the internet and eventually in person before I found this site. This site has been wonderful for me and I've managed to meet so many others who have history on this forum. There have been many opportunities to think about some of the TG/CD issues that I've faced as a part of conversations here. So I think I've become more open and better educated by being on this forum, but it hasn't been everything to me.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Most thanksful for this site. I am very much in the closet and have only "come out" still anonymously to one SA at a Dress Barn thanks to the confidence that i got from reading posts about places to shop here. Also, thankful for a few PMs exchanged with other members in Virginia who shared their shopping experiences. I think my closet is now a little bigger and perhaps it now has some creature comforts - at least light bulb.
When this forum went down, I looked at others and realised what a loss this would be if it didn't come back ! It's horses for courses but I think it's the best !
Outside of it I'd be at a loss now !
I also agree with MsVal to me it sums it up. ! If some of the other sites suggest what a normal CDer should be doing, maybe some of us would be searching desperately for a cure !!
Nigella one point is what would we do if they had to charge a subscription, maybe you'd like to pose that question !
Last edited by Teresa; 08-12-2014 at 04:48 AM.
Good question...
I'd be... still confused and still bearing too much guilt and shame... While I might have realised I was exhibiting TG to a small degree, I would never have been prepared to delve into it as deeply as I have done here, and nor would I have benefited from the insight, friendship and acceptance that everyone here has shown me... I could get quite emotional...
Activities outside... Those wouldn't change, other than having a bunch more time to practice my golf swing and do crosswords...
And to answer Teresa's question about value - yes, I'd pay... this place offers huge value for lost souls needing to find support and acceptance...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
There have been online discussion groups since at least 1991. Compuserve had one, and the newsgroup alt.transgendered was out there back then too. This is just an evolution of those. With moderators. Alt transgendered was the wild west, anything goes.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Before I found this forum, I was a member of a similarly named group that called itself a "club". There were quite a few active members, but to me it seemed cliquish. A relatively small group seemed to dominate, talking publically to each other, but for the most part not acknowledging comments by those outside the group. Seemed almost like high school, where everyone else swirled around the periphery of the "in" crowd.
Here, it's totally different. The discussions, the advice, the critiques, the camaraderie are all amazing. As others have said, before the internet, we thought we were alone. Then when the internet grew there were the individual biography sites where ladies posted there stories and photos, but there was not much dialogue - we lurked, looking at the lives of others. The advent of this site was a watershed event. Finally we could see and speak to each other and, lo and behold, we could discover that others had lived lives and experienced emotions and situations like what we had growing up, and we each had much to share and much to learn.
I am enriched as a person from experiencing this group and feeling normal while doing so.
Without this forum, my male/drab life would be just that -- drab. I thoroughly enjoy my guy side and doing all the things I enjoy as a man. But knowing that it's okay to want the femme, and to imagine the femme while being in drab, only came from the forum. My world would be much narrower without this enriching environment.
IMHO.
Rhonda
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Be all the woman that you can be!
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. . . and now, On With The Show!
This site covers more TG issues than others I've seen. It's helped most of us to look deeper into ourselves to try and understand our thoughts and feelings. Some enlightening topics below:
We are all unique in why we dress.
We still don't know why we dress, but the underlying reasons differ with each of us.
Some CDs are late bloomers, but most had a childhood CD experience.
It's possible to live a long life without really knowing that one isn't just a CD, but maybe TS.
Realizing that one has GID, or GD (same thing).
Do I come out to my wife? How?
So much more. As closeted as I've been for 4+ decades, I've finally been out dressed a few times, which led me to meet other CDs in person. I doubt that would have ever happened without being here.
Many talk about the time before they found the forum, while many of us remember the time before the forum existed and before the internet existed.
Where would I be? Alone with this unexplained drive to crossdress.
For me, Rhonda said it best: I am enriched as a person from experiencing this group and feeling normal while doing so. There is a derived reassurance from the kindness, intelligence and articulation skills that is displayed by the members here.
I'd still be wondering how others broach the subject with their SO's. Everyone is different and every relationship has different dynamics. Without this forum, I would never have had the opportunity to view and consider the wide range of approaches some have taken, and the results it had.
Whilst some just would not work for me, some give me a much better hope for light at the end of the tunnel.
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